Former Promoter Says Nelly Blew All His Money on Gambling, Steroids and Coke

 Posted on May 31, 2011  |  The Editor

If we were looking for a way to blow a small fortune, steroids, cocaine and gambling sounds like as good a method as any, but we aren’t here to approve or judge…ok, that’s exactly what we’re for, but usually that comes later in the post after we do this intro bit followed by a block quote of actual reporting. It all started a few days ago when Nelly and his then promoter SLIM got into a war of words. [Read More]
celebrity  drugs  gambling  nelly  twitter 

A Former Miss Missouri Married Tony Romo

 Posted on May 30, 2011  |  The Editor

Unemployed Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has drug the pineapple through quite a number of ladies. First he got Jessica Simpson on her way down from being hot and famous, then he snagged Carrie Underwood on the way up, but now he’s decided the only goal line he wants to eternally scramble for belongs to is former 2008 Miss Missouri and Mizzou alum, Candice Crawford. (Here’s hoping we are the first site to make a football metaphor for her vagina! [Read More]
Candice Crawford  celebrity  tony romo  wedding 

Fulton Tornado Alarm Snoozed For One Full Day

 Posted on May 30, 2011  |  The Editor

In a tornado season where more old junk has been blown than at a Red 7’s Swingers Night, the Fulton emergency weather alarm decided that it didn’t want to ruin anyone’s Wednesday with a warning siren, so it held off until Thursday. There were no storms Thursday mind you, so in essence it was a “If you’re hearing this, you survived!” alarm. We don’t have any hard numbers, but it seems more celebratory, while somewhat less effective. [Read More]
alarm  fulton  morons  siren  weather 

Too Soon St. Charles Netflix Users!

 Posted on May 26, 2011  |  The Editor

What the hell St. Charles?! You guys all think it’s funny to sit in your comfy, non-rubble homes watching tornado movies? Too soon man. Too soon. Our eagle eyed tipster, one Aaron Burrows, nabbed this screenshot as proof. He was horrified by his fellow townsfolk, so he gets a pass. We will give St. Charles a point for enjoying Baseketball though, which was a fine flick that had St. Louis’ native son Bob Costas utter the line “You’re excited? [Read More]
netflix  sighting  st charles  tornado 

Joplin: Before and After

 Posted on May 25, 2011  |  The Editor

Photographer Aaron Fuhrman has been posting photos on his Flickr stream of old Google Streetview images of Joplin with shots taken after the tornado. Amazing devastation.

Too bad that guy looking at the pile of rubble that used to be his house got in the shot. Freaking ruined everything. He really needs to start thinking about others.

joplin  photos  tornado 

Off-Duty Cop Shoots Himself at Imo’s

 Posted on May 24, 2011  |  The Editor

We haven’t had Imo’s Pizza in a while, and it sounds pretty good…not sure if it sounds “leg shootin’ good”, but good. The unidentified officer had been working in uniform as a security guard at the Schnucks, 3431 Union Boulevard. The St. Louis Police Department had approved him for that second job. At about 5:20 p.m. Sunday, he went to an Imo’s pizza restaurant at 3441 Union Boulevard. He adjusted his weapon and the gun accidentally discharged, police say. [Read More]
imos  morons  police  shooting 

Macho Man Randy Savage: Cardinal Farmhand

 Posted on May 24, 2011  |  The Editor

Everyone now knows that former professional wrestler Macho Man Randy Savage died last weekend in an apparently successful attempt to stop the rapture and, thus, save us all. He’s pretty much the new Jesus. But did you know that he was also an ex-Cardinal farmhand, playing in the low ends of the Cardinal system for a few years, never stopped loving the Cardinals, and even taught his then teammate a training technique that is still used today in the majors? [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  celebrity  randy savage 

Squirrel Takes Out Power to Two Thousand Granite City Residents

 Posted on May 23, 2011  |  The Editor

A squirrel who hopped in to the Ameren Illinois “distribution line” caused nearly 2,000 customers to lose power Sunday morning. Ameren Illinois spokesperson Natalie Hemmer says a squirrel got into a distribution line Sunday morning, knocking out service to 1,904 customers. Granite City was the area mostly affected. Early thoughts were that the squirrel was suicidal over the lost of Macho Man Randy Savage, while others believed that the rodent was a fervent rapture believer and couldn’t stand the shame of seeing his fellow squirrels on Monday. [Read More]
granite city  power  squirrel  weird 

Red 7 Club: Anything Goes, but No Means No

 Posted on May 19, 2011  |  The Editor

South City club Red 7 is in deep lately, which apparently is the norm, but what it’s deep in is a little different now. St. Louis Police and Liquor Control officer secretly infiltrated the club during one of the “St. Louis Adult Connection” hosted swinger parties in an effort to verify anonymous tips of lewd behavior at the establishment…or at least that’s their story. Excise Commissioner Robert Kraiberg said that, over two decades as city liquor chief, he has seen a few clubs busted for breaking the city’s “lewd and indecent conduct” ordinance – Girls Gone Wild videotaping, risqué lingerie parties, and the like. [Read More]
club  red7  sextastic  south city  swingers 

Somebody’s Ghetto Ass Just Won 1.6 Million Dollars

 Posted on May 17, 2011  |  The Editor

A $1.6 Million dollar lottery winning ticket was purchased at…well, we wouldn’t call it horrible, but it’s not good and a little ghetto, Schnucks over in University City off of Olive Boulevard. You know the one. It’s by the ghetto-ish Jack in the Box, across the street from the ghetto-ish Imo’s, next to the fat ladies clothing store and a $1 dollar store. Someone purchased a winning ticket at the Schnucks Market at 6920 Olive Boulevard. [Read More]
ghetto  lottery  schnucks