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Doing it Right: Guy Too Drunk to Know He’s Been Stabbed Guy Puts Drugs Up His Ass in Hopes of Future Jail Use Do Not Stop When You Drive Through St. Louis, You Will Get Robbed MetroLink Security: Pay No Attention to the Murders All Good Relationships Start With a Great Story Like This Mardi Gras Was a Blast David Lee Sperry Shot a Guy and then Lit Him on Fire Adults Visit High School, Beat Up Freshman Guy Robs Creve Coeur Dollar Store, Gets Away With Tens of Dollars Denise Cooke is in Trouble for Child Endangerment, Thought This Was America Police Chief Dotson is Already Getting Good at the Crime Numbers Math Game East St. Louis: Where You Can Get Robbed While at Church Popular Bluff Man Beats Parents With Baseball Bat, Tells Police The Central West End Has a Flasher St. Louis Thieves and Michael Strahan Love Subway Porn Shop Owners’ South County Home Penetrated By Two Guys Merry Christmas Poor St. Louis Kids! Said the Guy That Stole Your Presents Someone Is Stealing Your Amazon Shipments That Must Have Been One Really Bad Hair Cut Well She Certainly Looks Like She’s Learned Her Lesson… Vernita Bruce Is Not Don King, So Just Stop Making Those Jokes Now. Frankly It’s A Bit Lazy. Jordan Prince Strangles Babies South County Woman Beats the Hell Out of Her Possibly Demonic Grandmother Horrible Foreign Guy Nearly Kills Pregnant Woman, Smashes Daycare Woman Arrested For DUI After Passing Out in a Hardee’s Drive Through Some Guy Shot a Dog Twelve Times Guy Gets Shot After Offering to be the Designated Driver Horrible Face-Shooting Thieving D*ckhead Brought to Justice St. Louis: Where Bank Robbers Yell “Go Cards!” Old Timey Gossip Columnist Jerry Berger Accused of Sexual Misconduct Clayon Police Are Looking For a Serial Groper Guy Shoots Himself in the Leg During Traffic Stop East St. Louis’ Curfew is Already Working Baron Calmese Jr. is a Huge Butthole KMOV’s Matt Sczesny Got Beat Up Death Over Pork Steaks The Uncle Bill’s Owner Was Kidnapped Five Escape From Pike County Jail, One of Them Has Crazy Eyes Guy Stabs Another Guy Downtown Over a Bag of Cheetos Guy Gets Fifth DWI With Four Kids in the Car The Best Way to Keep Your Car From Being Stolen is to Leave Your Child in There Mother of the Year: Krystal Rushing of Rosewood Heights, IL Mid Rivers Elementary Had a Convenient Pot Source Man Charged With Showing a Kid His Penis at a Brentwood Home Depot St. Louis Drug Dealers Are Horrible Salesmen Three Women Attack a Red Lobster Waitress That is One Ugly Mother-Puncher! If You See a Guy On His Porch in Maplewood Who Looks Like He’s Jacking It, He Probably Is St. Louis Area Police Brace For More Violence, Practice Shooting Stoic Figures St. Charles Police Catch a Predator Dateline Style! The Public is a Little Less Safe Tonight Because the Director of Public Safety Got Burglarized City of Shrewsbury On the Lookout For Kissy Cop Impersonator One Ice Cream Truck, Two Robberies Drunk Couple Arrested For Skinny Dipping BREAKING: Creepy-Looking Guy Does Something Totally Creepy Even the Cops Don’t Want to Walk the Streets of St. Louis Crazy Wright City Man Fake Booby Traps His Truck, Ends Up in Real Jail You Should Always Carry Weed, It Might Save Your Life Pedro Chavez is a Determined Molester Belleville Woman Calls 911 Because Her Husband Took Her Beer Sweet Hiding Place Bro New in St. Louis: People Getting Shot For NOT Buying Drugs The Last Last Samurai Got Arrested in Kirkwood Guy Busted Making Meth in White Castle Parking Lot Lady Flings Cat Litter at Some Guy, Gets Arrested for Battery Stealing and Trading 2,000 Mice for Heroin is Harder Than You’d Think Warrenton Banks Are So Easy to Rob You Can Do It Drunk! Guy Confesses to Molestation During a Job Interview with Police, Goes to Jail Nazi Zombies May or May Not Have Attacked Chesterfield Over the Weekend Your Daily Meth News: Stolen Licenses and the Walmart Lady Returns Highlights From the St. Charles County Incident Report Guy Gets Saved and Then Arrested for Assault St. Louis Started a Washington Avenue Curfew A Bunch of Snakes Were Stolen From the Aquarium in the City Museum The Valley Park Mayor is So Exhausted He Argued, Ran and Spit on the Police Someone Was Making Meth in the South County Walmart Heroin Must Make You Hot or Something Woman Arrested For Beating Up Kid and Not Having Enough Eyebrow Hair Some Guy Got Shot in the Face While Leaving His Apartment Police Raid East St. Louis Nightclubs, Because Why Not? St. Louis to Replace Metal Street Signs With Cheaper Plastic Ones Tough Angry Biker Guy: 0; Old Man With Semi-Automatic Weapon: 1 Impatient Bank Robber is Impatient Ladies Shouldn’t Pee at the Spear Construction Company (Updated) Horse Outsmarts Downtown Carriage Jacker Remember Jem? She’s Doing Meth Now in Cottage Hills Apparently South City Couple Sexually Assaulted Their Dog Stop Shooting People in Their Faces You Assholes! Marine’s War Medals Stolen While Visiting the Arch (Updated) Naked O’Fallon Man Bit a Police Officer’s Face St. Charles Massage Parlor Owner Arrested for High Tech Peeping The Loop Hosted a Massive Fight and a Shooting Saturday Night Soulard Grease Thieves Caught By Off Duty Cop People Finally Go To Reservoir Park, But Only to See Graffiti Someone Put a One Million Dollar Bounty Out for Maplewood Cops Warrenton Peeping Tom Arrested Task Force Finds 3 St. Charles Meth Labs February 29th: An Extra Day in St. Louis is an Extra Day to Die! Guy Chokes Two Different Women at Hospital on Consecutive Days Lots of Panties Have Been Stolen From the Galleria’s Victoria’s Secret St. Charles County Man Found Guilty of Having Great Hair (and Threatening a Judge) Authorities Catch ‘Same Coat Bandit’ Despite The Fact That He Was Wearing a Different Coat We Have Officially Run Out of Clever Bank Robber Names Woman Tricks Cops, Steals Their Wallet to Buy Smokes and Lottery Tickets Jermaine Johnson is Probably The Worst Boyfriend Of All Time Just One? Oh KMOV, You’re Just Not Looking Hard Enough! The Federal Government Finally Noticed How Hard East St. Louis Sucks Guy That Escaped Meth House Explosion Gets Busted Via Facebook Boyfriend Babysitter Bites Four Year Old Lindenwood University Can’t Have Nice Things Flow Chart Friday: Should I Shoot That Guy Over There? Teachers’ Aide Busted (Twice) For Molesting Disabled Kids Some Fat Kid in Wig Tried to Steal a Bunch of Pork Products From the Alton Shop N Save Sure He Kidnapped You and Tried to Steal Your Money, But How Can You Be Mad at a Guy With a Smile Like That? Stolen Tow Truck Used to Rob Family Dollar Store Welcome to St. Louis: We Rob Nuns Here KMOV Refuses to Say The South City Peeping Tom Was Masturbating Some Little Bitch Tried to Steal From a One-Legged Old Lady Repeatedly Stabbing Your Mom is No Way to Win an Argument O’Fallon Man Got Busted For Being Internet Perv Drunk Guy Arrested After Eating Stranger’s Cereal Wentzville Tattoo Artist Invents New Belly Piercing Remover…Oh Wait. That’s Just a Gun. Wildwood Man Gets Caught Using Fake Dick to Pass Drug Test Really Happy Fat Guy Busted For Marijuana Possession Lady Shoots Little Girl in the Back With BB Gun Because Shut Up! You Want Some Too?! Occupy Protestors Arrested, At Least One Realizes That Jail Isn’t Fun Mayor Slay Found an Almost Dead Guy in South City Kansas City Man Runs Naked in to House, and in to Child’s Room Illinois’ Has Run Out of Ideas, Turns to Posters to Stop Meth Hey Ladies: He Looks Like That and He’s a Sex Offender! Dan McLaughlin Busted For Drunk Driving Again Woman Turns in Fiancee After Discovering He’s a Pedophile An Overly Theatric Thief Robbed Some People in Dellwood Don’t Walk on the Poplar Street Bridge St. Louis Can’t Even Keep the Few Criminals They Do Catch In Jail Guy Admits To Robbing Over 160 Cars a Month North City White Castle Thief Thought She Could Make the Jump Collinsville Police Chief Takes Stand Against Pants Sagging Law Missouri Sheriffs Association Caught in Crossfire Between Justice System and Antisec Hackers St. Charles County Home to World’s Best Mom Mug Shot of the Day St. Louis is Home to the Only People That Actually Wanted to Get in a Radio Shack Translating Police Chief Dan Isom’s Response To Citizen’s Police Complaints St. Louis Police Release Car Jacker, Said He Had an Honest Face Breaking Down Hillsboro’s Sexy Garage Burglary St. Charles Man Exposes Himself at Pool Twice This Month Stupid Richmond Heights Kids Are Stupid and Violent Nameless Statues Appear in Front of Scottrade Center Police Say Your Downtown Parked Car Might Get Stolen, Public Replies With “Duh.” Man Shot in Groin, Probably Felt Less Funny Than It Sounds Man Starts Armed Police Standoff While Holding Infant St. Louis Judge Jack Garvey Is Taking a Stand Against Gun Violence Whoops: St. Charles Releases Wrong Guy From Jail St. Louis is Tough on Trash Dumping Monday Morning Venn Diagrams City Police Mobilize on a Barrel Full of White Powder Police Sweep Through Cahokia, Arresting Pretty Much Everyone Crazy Old Man Arrested for Being a Crazy Old Man With a Gun Ok, We Get It: St. Louis is a Violent Place to Live A North Side Story Illinois Drunk Drivers Deliver Themselves to the Police Department Gas Station Drunk Beating Officer Ries Cleared of All Charges Moped Drive-Bys Are A Thing Now We’re Pretty Sure Nate Dogg Robbed a Granite City Cash Store The Important Thing Was She Gave the Pervert the Correct Time Score One For Dierbergs: Man Runs Over People in Schnucks Parking Lot Two of the Worst People Ever Escape From St. Louis Jail Don’t Worry Folks, the Vindicator Will Save Us Man Beaten With 2×4 in North City Basement Man Beats Girl to Death, Blames Actions on Poor CPR Instructions During Appeal License Plate Stickers Could Move to Your Dashboard Prentice Nash: Duck-Faced Killa O’Fallon Police Finger the Fingerer Named Finger For Child Molestation Sheriff Arrested on Suspicion of Being a Meth Dealer Rolla Farm Boy Loves Him Some Kiddie Porn! Oh Sure, Blame the Fake Pot Now Whatever the Hell This Thing Is Kills Dogs Random Bones Found Near Lambert Airport St. Louis Police Try to Squash Scrap Metal Theft Bryan Lang Had A Lot of Meth Labs In His Place St. Louis Cop Claims Responsibility for Leaked Crime Scene Photo Washington Meth Lab Doubled as a Daycare And the Award of Best Makeup in a Robbery Goes to… Lawn Darts are Serious Federal Business Jogger Gets Pantsed, Didn’t Think It Was Funny Belleville Mom Takes a Stab at Mother of the Year South St. Louis Gun Fight Ends With Suspect and US Marshal Dead Update: Ritz Carlton “Molester” Just Really Really Really Drunk A Crook Runs From the Law Guy Breaks in to Ritz Carlton Room to Molest 9 Year-Old St. Louis: The Face Shootin’-est City This Side of the Mississippi! Maybe Just Don’t Worry About Line Cutters in North St. Louis Killed a Man in St. Louis Once, Just to See Him Fry The Old Fake Policeman Bit Just Keeps on Working 2010 Census: So It Seems People Do Hate Being Robbed, Mugged and Shot Woman Shot at 10 Year-Old’s Birthday Party Frozen Meat Found to be Ineffective on Overdose Victims Guy Stabs Parents After an Argument About His Unemployment St. Louis Machete Thief Doesn’t Get Far Mr. Pringle is a Little Too Friendly in the Gym, Charged with Sexual Abuse Trasher Escapes Cyber Harassment Charges, Can’t Escape the Fact that She’s a Moron Scott Halliday’s Perv Career is Starting Off Nicely Adrienne Martin’s Autopsy: Accidental Overdose, Coke Straws, and Someone Should Really Hire a Maid Armored Car Robber Gets Nabbed, Then Insulted by Police Ladies: How Many of You Wore Skirts at West County Mall? You Might be Famous. Violent Crime Gets Slightly More Cordial Toxicology Report: Adrienne Martin Died of Oxycodone and Cocaine Overdose? Anyone Know How to Sign “Stop Hitting Me With Your Car!”? St. Charles Gas Station Clerks Scare Easily Car Crashes in to Downtown Hooters Craig Cornett Beat Up a 75-Year Old Man Del Taco is Gross, Don’t Take Us There or We Will Stab You Empty Bag of Weed Drives Imperial Man to Kill What Do You Do When the Cops Reach in Your Window For Your Drugs? Some Guy Raped a Four-year-old and Gave it an STD Sunset Hills Gets Their First Tornado Looters Officer Dustin Ries Sure Does Like Hitting and Macing People! St. Louis Police Officer Caught on Tape Beating Drunk Guy Turns Out the Police Shot Jesus at Denny’s the Other Day Kevin Helfrich Held the Key to a Man’s Heart New Year’s Eve Yet Another Way to Have Denny’s Kill You: Have the Police Shoot You in the Leg Drug Deals in the Bass Pro Shop Parking Lot Always End Badly CBS Early Show Analyzes August Busch IV, While Post Dispatch Keeps Playing that 911 Tape 17-year-old Charged with Opening Fire on Crowded Club Woman Attempts to Hire Hitman to Kill Husband Man Made Two Kids Look at His Old Junk at Goodwill. By Junk We Mean Penis. East St. Louis Layoff Policemen, Please Don’t Tell All the Criminals East St. Louis Thugs Running Out of Stuff to Steal St. Louis’ Grinch Enjoys the Crack Cocaine Another Guy Gets Shot in the Face Wentzville Police Debut New Drug Drop-off Box Nativity Scene Stolen from Hope Lutheran School St. Louis Thugs Doing All They Can to Match 2009’s Death Toll Guy Shoots Himself While Trying to Stop Car Thieves You Can’t Bring Your Gun and Ammo in to Walmart Alleged Comic Book Guy Rapist Found Dead Missouri Man Gets Arrested for Weed Twice in One Day St. Louis Optimizing Murders, Killing Each Other Right at Funeral Homes Betty White Stole Some Jewelry in O’Fallon, Missouri Someone Else Gets Shot in the Ass: Betcha Can’t Steal Just One Bag of Potato Chips! Chicago Woman Cries Sexual Assault from Lambert Airport Screening St. Louis Regains Title of Most Dangerous City! Dan McLaughlin Pleads Guilty to DUI Charge St. Louis City is About to Get $10 Million Dollars More Crappy Don’t Put Down Your Gun When Robbing People Past Missouri Lotto Winner Tried to Sell Infant Grandson UMSL Locks Down Campus Because of a Professor That Still Likes His Job East Alton Police Find Human Remains in East Alton Kid in Jail for Pretending to be Cop, Now Just Pretending His Butt Doesn’t Hurt Comic Book Guy Standoff: Please Do Not Arrest Me on the Display Case, It Contains a Valuable Mary Worth What Ever the Hell This Thing is Slashed a Bunch of Tires Three Inmates, One With Sidespike, Escaped From Prison Mug Shot: Derp! Me Likey the Kiddies! Squirrely-Looking Convict Running Free in St. Charles Amid Other Squirrly-Looking St. Charles County Residents Ugliest Woman Ever Wanted for St. Charles Robbery Military Recruiter Stabbed in Fairview Heights St. Clair County Police to Unleash “The Exterminator” Maybe the Public Hot Tubbing with a 10-Year Old Was Too Much? Why So Serious? Police Catch World’s Greatest Criminal Mind in East St. Louis Man Drives in to House After Being Shot Taste the Rainbow and Then Stab a Guy Dumbass Electrocuted While Trying to Steal Copper Wire Joseph Emil Klug Has a Horrible Name and Lots of Kiddie Porn Oh THAT Woman Wearing a Turban. Yeah, I Know Her. Hammer Time at Buckingham Place With Patrick Sweeney I Call That My “Putter”: Molester Apartment Putt Putt Course Adjacent Bobby Smith is Too Good to Look Forward in His Molester Mug Shot Cop Arrested, Then Fired After Molestation Charges Mayor Slay Says Police Are Liars When Reporting Crime Data Shooting Your Gun At City Hall Isn’t a Good Idea Some Hot Mess Robs Southern Commercial Bank James Clinton is Scared, Shirtless, Drunk and Has the Right to Remain Sexy! The American Ninja Lives in St. Charles. Please Don’t Touch His Wood. Missouri Sex Slave Previously Featured in Hustler’s Taboo Magazine 4 Men Charged With Multi-Year Sexual Assault Mugshot Quiz: Guess What Your Fellow St. Louisans Did! Police Chase in Loop Ends Badly Hey Man What Happened To Your Mobile Meth Lab?! Woman Who Whored Out 13-year-old Pleads Guilty Never Let Your Kid Do High School Band If the Director is Rocking a Chinstrap Mizzou Running Back Derrick Washington Charged with Sexual Assault Metrolink Security Guard Invents Boomerang Bullet…or is Simply Incompetent Alton Man Crashes Car in to Ex-Wife’s House, Probably Yelled “Take That Bitch!” While Doing It St. Louis Takes Top Prize in Crime…Again. Dan McLaughlin Gets Busted For Drinky Drinky Drivey Drivey You Know that Giant Missouri Sex Offender List? That’s Not All of Them Woman Wakes Up to Homeless Guy in House Man Gets Eight Years for Penis Murder If You Lost a Human Torso, the Coast Guard Found It Markquis Bryant Has $11,400 in Parking Ticket Fines Elsewhere: Guy Plans to Eat His Disobedient Cat Facebook: Foiling Morons’ School Shooting Plans Since 2010 Mugshots: Our Very Own Snookie! Dude Buying CDs Gets Shot in the Face Big and Small: We Have All Types of Crime in St. Louis Uplands Park Cop Admits to Banging Craigslist Hookers Random Gunfire Moves to St. Charles County Suspect in Brutal Murder Believes in Karma According to MySpace Yeah, We Have Axe-Wielding Thieves Now Alton Pervert Not Doing a Good Job Hiding It Mayor’s Nephew Charged With Stalking Dog the Bounty Hunter Would Never Mace Your Balls Like These Guys Free Stuff in Chesterfield! Everything Must Go! Fireworks Stand Being Set on Fire, Leads to Awesomeness More Proof that Lesbians Like Tongue Don’t F*ck With the Rally’s Drive Through Chef Steals From Restaurant Two Dudes Escaped From Jail Wellston Needs a Batman Really Really Bad It’s Way Too Easy To Scam People From Illinois Ms Teacher Bangs a Boy Guy Clumsily Out Smarts Dumbass Thieves Gyro House Guy: The Murder is Still Out There Woman Found Almost Dead in Forest Park Creek Bed. The Boy Scouts Are on the Case! RIP Gyro House Guy Home Explosion Sadly Meth, and Not Mad Scientist Related Cops Nab 45 Car Thieves After Starting New Program Awesome Story From the Past: Randi Naughton and Her Breasts Hate Ricky Lamming You Can’t Even Eat Your Chinese Take Out Without Getting Shot in St. Louis…twice. Dumpy Bald Guy Robs Bank Mardy Gilyard Got Robbed Gangs Clean Up North St. Louis City, Still Plan to Shoot at Each Other Old Guy Makes Hostage Threat After Running Out of Other Non-Jailable Ideas St. Louis Has the Worst Casino Crimes Ninjas Roam Town & Country Um Your Thumb Drive is Poking Me in the Back. Oh Wait. It’s Your Penis. Couple Gets Caught for Faking Paralysis Michael Moore of Kirkwood Hates You Unless You Died in a War Mizzou Racists Charged for Littering Shocker: Creepy Looking Guy Turns Out to Be Total Molester Police Investigating Dude Found Shot in the Street St. Louis County Cops Get Tasers, Still Just Cheaper to Shoot You Thieves Rip off Weather Man’s Car Outside of KSDK Office Washington Park, IL Mayor Shot and Killed St. Louis Police Accidentally Catch Thieves and Manage Not to Shoot Any of Them A St. Louis Priest Likes Little Girls. No I mean LIKES them. Yeah, I know. Gross. Missouri and Illinois Have “Un-Fair” Judges Dudes in to Kiddie Porn Should Invest in Their Own Computer Loud Guy is “Scared as Hell” to be Living in St. Louis Police Confused as to Why Stupid Prisoner Hanged Herself RFT Writer Gets Sucker Punched in the Loop Dude. WTF?! South St. Louis Gets a Taste of North St. Louis City Advertises to Lower Crime Instead of Investing in Robocop Police Shocked and Happily Surprised to Find Hispanics Pulled Over Were Actually Criminals Dude Got Shot in the Ass in North St. Louis Youth Leader Likes Kids…I Mean Really Likes Kids Former St. Louis Cop Sues Facebook Former KFNS Producer Ryan Huff Gets 25 Years for Diddling Tweens Sexy Mugshot: James Watkins, Cock Snatcher Secretary Embezzles From Employer, Apparently Has Never Seen Psycho Some Dude Made His Meth in a Sonic Steven Jackson Cleared Criminally: Lack of Evidence! Hey Look a Drug House! Couple Steals Haitian Donation Jar, Probably Are Really Nice People Normally Though Guy Robs Clayton Bank, Gets Caught Across the Street at Hospital If You Never Got Your Package of Coke, Its at the Franklin County Assessor’s Office Steve Jackson Responds to Claims He Knocked Around a Knocked-Up Broad Steven Jackson Accused of Beating Up Pregnant Girlfriend! Old Guy Robs Bank Molester to be Released, but He Has a Funny Name So That Helps Moron Freaks Out at a Kansas City McDonalds Fredericktown Police Captain Likes Little Boys, Little Boys Not Big Fans of Him Woman Brawls in Bar With Mug St. Louis is Looking For 24 of You, and It Will Find You Nelly Offers Reward for Information About His Burglary Stolen Cars in North City Come With Free Bullets! Marquicio Johnson Makes Last Minute Shot at Mug Shot of the Year Ryan Huff Pleads Guilty Whoops! Registered Sex Offender Working For Kirkwood School District Wash U More Dangerous Than UMSL? Dudes House Gets Jacked Twice, Probably Deserved it Though Nelly Robbed! Black Guy in Hooded Sweatshirt Crime Spree Continues Cardinals 3B, David Freese Arrested on DWI Charge Woman Attacked in UMSL Bathroom Man Found Dead at Quik Trip, Probably Tried Hot Dog Ryan Huff Rape Case Delayed Until New Year Stupid Canadian Wanted to Get Shot Down, Instead Lands in Missouri Someone Threw Away a Body in Pacific Webster Groves Gets a Whole Lot More Sexy With Their New Flasher This Lady Really Sucks at Sign Making Donna Judish is the Sexiest Woman In St. Louis and Here’s My Plan to Get Her Mayor of East St. Louis Finally Realizes East St. Louis Sucks St. Louis County to Stall Some Bait Houses Because Criminals Are Stupid One Year Old Tries to Take On 26 Year Old and Loses The First Rule of Gun Safety is Do Not Talk About Gun Safety Creepy Looking Police Officer Raped and Robbed Hookers Guy Breaks in to House, Covers Inside With Liquid Soap Officials Say Meth Use Falling, Not So Says Shirtless Guy With Holes In Teeth Its Ok For Adults to Text While Driving Starting Today Police to Protestors: “I’m sorry. Here’s some money.” St. Louis Cops Catch a Weak James Bond O’Fallon MO Police Join Twitter Another Proud Day for Missouri: Dude Bites Another Dude’s Earlobe Off. Some People Just Get Really Excited to See St. Louis Update: McDonald’s is Not to be Messed With Cyber Bullying: Oh Sweet Jesus, Not Again! Woman Dies After Eating at Eat-Rite Diner, But Not in the Way You Think McDonalds is Not to be Messed With Come Claim Your Gatorade From the O’Fallon Police Department Fenton’s Citizens on Patrol St. Louis County People Kill Each Other Less Than Last Year St. Charles County Ambulance Board Members Know How to Party Wait You Can’t Pay For Your Lemonade With Penis? Crazy Looking White Guy Does Crazy Stuff on the Phone Update on the KFNS Producer Arrested on Rape Charges Another Moron Crashes in to Someone’s House Breaking: KFNS Producer Arrested on Rape Charges
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Tony LaRussa’s Wife Loves Machine Head The Rams’ Danny Amendola Hates Old Rams Ushers SLU Basketball Coach Rick Majerus Died The Cardinals’ David Freese Crashed in SUV Mayor Slay Proves He’s Horrible at Sports Betting The Cardinals Choked St. Louis: Where Bank Robbers Yell “Go Cards!” Ozzie Smith is Selling His Gold Gloves Washington Wizards Bradley Beal Gets Twitter Threats For Being Pro-Cardinals The Morning After the Cardinals Crushed the Nationals in Game 5 The Cardinals Just Accomplished the Largest Comeback in a Postseason Elimination Game Ever Tailgate32 Visits St. Louis 5 Reasons Why the Nationals’ Bryce Harper is a Douche Kansas City Chiefs Fans Are Horrible People (Updated) Congrats Cardinals For Being “Wildcard” Champs (or whatever) Cardinals Prospect Shelby Miller is Drunk, Stupid or Both St. Louis Hates Jason Motte via Twitter…and Then Likes Him via Twitter Cardinals Fan Does Something Dirty Next to Jim Hayes on Fox Sports Midwest Cool Story Bro: Miss Missouri Thinks the Rams Won’t Suck Skip Schumaker Loses Butt Virginity On National TV Here’s Cardinal Prospect Kolten Wong With His Shirt Off Talking About His Tattoos Lance Berkman Eyes Return to Cardinals and the Creepiest Baseball Pose Ever SNY Broadcasted Mets No Hitter Reaction From Both R.A. Dicky and an Actual Dick Sam Bradford and Tim Tebow Worship the Nike Devil According to Crazy Guy on Internet The World’s Stupidest Tattoo Features 2011 World Series Fox Sports Midwest Thinks All Middle Infielder Bench Players Are the Same KSDK Found Shorts For the Cardinal Game Streaker (Updated) Conan Makes a Pujols Joke St. Louis Gets Lingerie Football Team STLToday Facebook Poll Reveals the NFL Draft Makes Your Dick Hurt The Rams New Draft Choice Michael Brockers is Already a Big Shot The 10 Best Horrible Things Retweeted by @BestFansStLouis Sam Bradford is Dating Karlie Kloss The Tampa Bay Rays’ Luke Scott Sounds Like a Smart Guy Texas Tech Chess Team Transfered to Webster…All of Them! Check Out Rafael Frucal’s LA Living Room John Mozeliak’s Cardinals Takeover Reenacted With Legos Hey Kids, Who Wants To Bounce Around in the Big Cardinal’s Crotch?! Saint Louis University is Out of March Madness, but it’s Not Because Their Band Didn’t Have Spirit Enough With the “Rally Squirrel” Crap Ozzie Smith Loves the Cardinals Again Fun Things You Can Do With the Weird Ray Vinson Super Bowl Commercial Pujols 5 Restaurant Needed a New Name, but Didn’t Want to Move All the Sports Stuff Out Joe Sports Fan Kickstarts Pledge Drive For Their New Project One Last Thing On Pujols Albert Pujols Gets the Taiwanese Animation Treatment St. Louis Experiences the First Phase of Pujols Grief STLToday.com’s Headline [FIXED] Pujols Likes $30 Million Dollars More Than You KSDK Sports 2012 Looks Like the Worst Game Ever St. Louis’ Sports Jesus Says Denver’s Sports Jesus Should Stop Talking About Regular Jesus So Much Pujols’ Agent is a Horrible Person but Loves Hookers Happy JC Corcoran Says Pujols Will Re-Sign Today Day! Cardinals Hire Mike Matheny As Manager, Rams Something Something Rangers Manager Ron Washington Sounds Just How You’d Think He’d Sound in his Game 7 Pep Talk Head to Amazon For Your Texas Rangers 2011 Champions Book! Tweet Commentary From the Cardinals World Champions Parade and Celebration And the Best Post-World Series Photo is… The Cardinals Won the 2011 World Series Joe and Jack Buck and Their Respective Game Six Calls A World Series Game Six Time Lapse World Series Game 5: WTF Tony?! Hey, How Did the Rams and the Cardinals Do in Dallas Yesterday? Checking on the World Series Coverage Holy Freaking Balls: The Cardinals Are in the World Series! NLCS: Game 5 NLCS: Game 3 KSDK: Local Costume Shop Runs Out of Rally Squirrel Costumes They Never Had Summing Up the Weekend Cardinals: NLCS Game 1 Cardinals: NLDS Game 5 The Rams Still Aren’t Very Good At Scoring More Points Than Their Opposing Team in the Time Allotted Dan McLaughlin Busted For Drunk Driving Again Holy Balls! The Cardinals are in the Playoffs! Quick, Everyone Get Back on the Cardinals Bandwagon We Fill Out The Last 5 “Ram Rules” Jailed Miami Booster Navin Shapiro Ruins Everything The Cardinals Couldn’t Even Get a Hit With a 100 Pound Metal Plate The Cardinals’ 2011 Season: Mission Accomplished! Are the Cardinals Shipping Rasmus to the White Sox? Pujols Returns! St. Louis Reddit Puts on a Baseball Play Nameless Statues Appear in Front of Scottrade Center Cardinals Dominate Cincinnati’s “Most Disliked Sports Personalities” Pujols Contract Season: Totally Going Just Like They Planned It! Groupon Slings Cardinals Tickets on the Cheap The Top 5 Other Things The Cardinals Were Happy About Tony and Albert Looked a Little Freaked Out at Saturday’s Game Monday Morning Venn Diagrams Sam Mellinger Smells Like Poop and He Probably Rapes Bunnies Not News: Stupid Cincinnati Radio Show Has Stupid Contest About LaRussa Tony Returns to Cardinals Bench Tony’s Eye Might Be Because of Playing Baseball With Raw Chicken Oh Theriot…That Was Not a Good Idea Stupid Cardinal Player Nicknames: Our Best Chris Berman Imitation Ryan Franklin Shaves Beard, Only Finds More Horribleness Underneath Festus Girl Hit in the Head With a Shot Put Tony LaRussa and Ray Vinson’s Awkward Handshake Will Forever Haunt Our Dreams We Know the Reason For the Crappy Start of Franklin and Pujols 2011 Season, Game 5: Tony LaRussa Gets Mad at Reporters, Walks Out The Blues Are For Sale Again Did Pujols and the Cardinals Censor Joe Sports Fan? Mitchell Page Died Steven Jackson Dances With Jabb Awoc Keez Rams Scout Showed Penis to Cop While at the NFL Combine Adam Wainwright’s Elbow Just Ruined the Whole Season There’s Not a Lot to Say About Nick Punto Cardinals Hire YouTube Star as Minor League Coach St. Louis Loses a Sports Star From Every Major Team Today Jim Edmonds Retired Albert Pujols Invalidates Your Death Kyle Lohse Has a New Tattoo Mark Buehrle Really Doesn’t Like Michael Vick Steven Jackson’s Wild Super Bowl Limo Ride Cardinals Sign Jim Edmonds…Wait What?! Jay Mohr Says Pujols is Worth It…and Agrees that Jason Barrett is Creepy Brad Penny Was Totally Going to Pitch For the Cardinals in the Playoffs, but Well, You Know Counting Down to Pujols’ New Contract Deadline Comparing Our LaRussa Roast to the Actual One NFL Running Back Laurence Maroney Arrested on Weapons Charges Rams Hire Josh McDaniels as Offensive Coordinator Who Gets Immediately Wiki-libeled A Cardinals Winter Warm-Up Wrap-Up Rams’ Head Coach Steve Spagnuolo Fires Todd Hewitt and Sounds Like a Dick Nobody Likes Ex-Cardinal Pitcher Brad Penny Mizzou Quarterback Blaine Gabbert Leaves for NFL Sam Bradford Had a Bad Hair Day and the Rams Remind Us They Still Suck Rams Beat 49ers, Keep Playoff Hopes Alive Rams Lose Governor’s Cup to Chiefs. St. Louis on Suicide Watch Keith Tkachuk Finally Starting to Look Like He’s From St. Louis You Can’t Stop Us From Roasting Tony LaRussa Cardinals Finally Find a Sucker to Take Brendan Ryan Off Their Hands The Cardinals Welcome Former Astro Lance Berkman What Will Happen With Pujols? Cardinals Prepare to Ship Out Shortstop Brendan Ryan Kurt Warner Turns Judas to Rams Fan Acolytes Broncos Let Rams Have Win Because They Played One Hell of a First Half Pujols Gets 2MVP (2nd Most Valuable Player) Award for 2010 Season Rams WR Danario Alexander Gets an iPad A Giant Knob: 2011 Cardinals Ticket Pricing to be “Dynamic” Stan Musial to Get Presidential Medal of Freedom Dan McLaughlin Pleads Guilty to DUI Charge Brad Penny is Sorry for Being a Dead-Beat Pitcher Rams Lose in Overtime to Crappy 49ers St. Louis Cardinals are the Second-Best Real Estate on MLB Monopoly Woah! Calm Down Rams Fans! The Rams’ Steven Jackson Gets Animated For Nickelodeon Could Bad Boy Randy Moss Be a Ram Today? Here’s the Actual Photo of Sam Bradford in a Mizzou Jersey Mizzou Beats Oklahoma, Sam Bradford Loses Bet Tony LaRussa to Return as Cardinals Manager Rams Beat Chargers to Even Record The Lions Pounced on the Rams and Ate Their Face Kelly Chase, Former St. Louis Blues Bad Ass, Figure Skating on Canada Reality Show The Rams Won Again. Everyone Just Be Cool. Cardinals 2010: It Was Over, but Now It’s Really Over You Think It’s Tough Being a St. Louis Fan? The Rams Beat the Redskins! Cardinals Show Felipe Lopez the Door Cardinals Catcher Jason LaRue Retires Because of Johnny Cueto Saturday Kiss Cam Hangover: The Top 10 Kiss Cam Photoshops The Cardinals Kiss Cam: Looking at Your Fat Ass Isn’t Any Better Than Two Dudes Cubs Shortstop Gets Busted For Underage Gambling at Lumiere Place Casino Former NBAer John Salley Tells a Disgusting Tale of East St. Louis Stripper Bradford Loses His First Game, but the Internet Doesn’t Care Attention All! The Cardinals Changed Their Twitter Account Name! Ravens Linebacker Gets Chewed for Taunting Rams The Cardinals Radio Broadcasts Go Back to KMOX What Ever Happened to Eric Crouch? Craigslist: Anyone Seen the Cardinals Team We Had In April? Mizzou Running Back Derrick Washington Charged with Sexual Assault Cardinals Lose Again and Over-Share on Their Pre Game Bowel Movements Pujols and LaRussa Attend Glenn Beck Rally JoeSportsFan Figures Out Airport Shops Suck Balls The NFL’s Best #28 and #29 Were Rams Shaq Proposed to His Girlfriend in St. Louis Pfffft. You Don’t Mean That Johnny Damon! Stan Kroenke Looks Like the New Rams Owner Apparently People Don’t Like Dan McLaughlin River City Rascals, Completely Out of Ideas, Sign Little Person There is Already a Fake Dan McLaughlin Twitter Account Dan McLaughlin Gets Busted For Drinky Drinky Drivey Drivey Ryan Franklin Looks Stupid Cubs Rants For the Weekend Series Who’s a Little Bitch Now Asshole?: 7 Notes for the Brandon Phillips Hangover The Cardinals’ Skip Schumaker Gets No Respect Brandon Phillips Calls Cardinals Little Bitches Kareem Rush, Former Mizzou Basketball Player, Drops New Single The Reds Are the New Cardinals: Jim Edmonds Acquired by Reds Native St. Louis Boxing Takes a Draw Over the Weekend Jesus Dude. Damn! Come on Cardinals. Kroenke Tries Putting the Rams on Layaway Sam Bradford is Rich Biatch! Cards Trade Ludwick: Everyone’s Pissed but Jake Westbrook KSDK Hitches It’s Wagon to the Worst Football Team in NFL (Rams) Stadium Health Inspection Report: The St. Louis Blues Are Really Clean Stan Musial Makes Sports Illustrated Cover Update: Former Cardinal Mike Matheny Still Squatting at Home Pujols Was on Letterman Last Night Rams and Terrell Owens: Getting Desperate Already? As the Cardinals Play the Cubs, Lets Take a Look on Their Fans Cubs Epic Suckiness Finally Forces Lou Piniella to Retire The Cincinnati Red’s Transformation to the 2004 Cardinals is Nearly Complete Five Better Names for the Rams Mascot The Urban Assault Ride Returns to St. Louis The Reds’ First Baseman Joey Votto Hates the Cubs Can Former Cardinal Mike Matheny Crash At Your Place? Matt Holliday Doesn’t Get Out of First Round, but Nets Longest Jack Kurt Warner Tweets Like an 11 Year Old The Cardinals Are Horrible So a Crappy QB and a Hot Idiot Get Married… Danario Alexander’s Tweets are Like Poetry…Crazy Crazy Poetry No Pujols in This Year’s Home Run Derby What Do the Cardinals and George Brett Have in Common? Bill O’Reilly Talks With Albert Pujols Tony LaRussa’s Baseball Card Tony LaRussa Watches Step Brothers During Press Conference Kansas City: Oh So Now You Have to Have a All-Star Game Too? Hey Aaron Miles! Got Any More Suck We Need to Carry In? Oh, Jeff Suppan’s Bringing the Rest? Great. Chrissy Pronger?: Chicago Takes Aim at Ex-Blue The Cardinals Career Fair: Free With Ticket Purchase! Maybe the Rams Should Just Tell Isaac Bruce to Not Retire Right Now Don’t Worry About Pujols Becoming a Cub Aaron Miles Isn’t Good at Baseball Athletica’s Financial Red Card: Women’s Soccer Team Flops Mardy Gilyard Got Robbed Mayor Slay Gets in to the Sports Reporting Business Closing Out Your Week With Tony LaRussa’s Daughter Bianca Wanna Book Ray Lankford? It’s Gonna Cost You $5,000 Tony LaRussa is Going to Be on Whatever the Hell “Housecat Housecall” is Mayor Slay Takes a Swing at the Kickball Issue Inbev Makes Bud Light Official NFL Beer Sponsor Did Cubs’ 2B Jeff Baker Light His Farts and Burn His Ass? Who Has Two Thumbs and Can Get on Jim Rome’s Show Whenever He Wants? Joe Mather Major League Baseball Muffles Cards Beat Writer Leach on Twitter With LaRussa Clearly in Charge, the Cardinals Bring Back Aaron Miles Even the President Takes Shots at the Cubs Science Proves That the Rams Made a Good Pick in the Fourth Round Brad Penny Has a Perfectly Square Head Welcome to St. Louis Sam Bradford If You Can Kick a Ball, You Can Get Kicked Out of Tower Grove Park Glenn Close Throws out First Pitch Cardinals Played a Lot of Baseball Saturday Night Found on Opening Day: The Greatest Shirsey Ever! Stan Kroenke Was All Like POW and Khan Was All Like WHAT?! Over Last Minute Rams Bid Barry Bonds is Proud of Mark McGwire Who Says Opening Day isn’t Sexy?! We Help the Rams Pick Next Season’s Slogan Top 5 Best and Worst Cardinals 2010 Promotions It’s Time You Got To Know Sam Bradford Cardinals on Pace for 162 Wins! Play Like a Cardinal Commercials 2k10 South Park Weighs in On the Ram’s Signing of Quarterback A.J. Feeley Joe Buck’s Show Got Cancelled St. Louis Roller Derby Scene Gets First All-Dude Team Pujols Likes Milk, Well We Think That’s Milk…Of Course it is. Why Wouldn’t It Be? Cardinals Have Internal Discussions About Trading Brendan Ryan for Alex Rodriguez Is the Bang Bus Coming to Town? No. Just Basketball Fans Phillies Want to Trade Ryan Howard for Pujols Joe Buck Probably Banging Someone New St. Louis Anagrams: Spring Training Edition El Hombre Doesn’t Understand How Nicknames Work More State Senators Running Wild: McKenna Hates Mark McGwire Wentzville Product Ross Detwiler Out for 3 Months Marshall Faulk Should Be In Charge of the Rams Bryan Burwell Wants to Remind You That You Are Horrible People Google Isn’t Kind to Tony and Albert Globe Democrat Steps in it Again: Howard Balzer Jumps the Gun The Rams Have Been Bought and the Hoosiers Are Pissed! Bernie vs Fox 2 and the Globe Democrat Your World Champion 1926 Cardinals! Rams Backup QB Kyle Boller Married That Pretty Moron Matt Holliday Tweets Pujols No-Shows, Kansas City All Hurt and Whiney Casey Mulligan Might Make it to the Show This Summer! Kurt Warner Walks Away From the NFL Kurt Warner Retires Edmonds Signs With Brewers, Apparently Just Retired From Good Baseball Teams Steve Jackson Responds to Claims He Knocked Around a Knocked-Up Broad Steven Jackson Accused of Beating Up Pregnant Girlfriend! Brad Penny’s Girlfriend is Straight Bangin’ Yo Wheaties Fuel Box Features Pujols Former Cardinals Farmhand Stubby Clapp Carries Olympic Torch You Won’t Miss Rick Ankiel, He’ll Be Back Every June as a Royal Kurt Warner Gets Rocked, Should Remember Where He is Friday, then Promptly Retire Pujols is Proud of McGwire For Coming Out?! Video: Rams Fans Eating Turf at Last Game of Season Rick Ankiel Calls Super-Agent Scott Boras We Feel Bad for the One Guy that Was Apparently Surprised by the Mark McGwire News McGwire to Everyone: “Oh THOSE Steroids! Yeah, I Took Those. Sorry.” Does SLU Basketball Coach Rick Majerus Poop In Towels? Matt Holliday’s Wife: Not Bad. 10 St. Louis Tips for the Hollidays Matt Holiday Signs: $17 Million a Year Seems Like a Lot For a Guy That Can’t Catch Rams Injure Fans on Fan Appreciation Day Rams Take First Place in Losing Pujols is the MVP of the Decade Photoshopping St. Louis: The Rams’ Problem Child Incognito Delivers Parting Shot to St. Louis The Bills are Really Happy to See Richie Incognito No, No One Knows Who David Freese Is Steven Jackson Loves Ernest Movies The Rams Release Problem Child Richie Incognito Photoshopping St. Louis: The Cardinals’ Favorite Hangout Steven Jackson is Tired. Cardinals 3B, David Freese Arrested on DWI Charge Would You Want Mike Martz to Come Back to the Rams? Ballpark Village to Stay Equivalent of High School Parking Lot Steven Jackson is Pissed Shocker: Pujols Wins 3rd MVP Carpenter’s Waxes Poetic About Wainwright Mayor Slay Institutes Draft to Restock Rams Roster Richie Incognito Visits a Blood Drive When You Account for the Season, the Cardinals Aren’t All That Cheap Brain Dump on Things Too Short to Be a Post The Rams Win the Slap Fight Between the Two NFL Sissies The ESPN Mothership Turns on WXOS Tony LaRussa to Return as Cardinals Manager, to Bring McGwire With Him 101 ESPN’s Randy Karraker to Buy Rams? The Rams Traded Someone Bernie Finds a New Avenue For Rams Suckage Shut the Hell Up About Rush Limbaugh! Would Yadi Molina Skip an Autograph Event? There is a “Colby Rasmus Girl” Now? Twitter Responds to the Cardinals Early Playoff Exit F*ck You Dodger Fans Cardinal Playoff Beards: NLDS Malfunction Causes Blues Fans to Be Thrown From Escalator, But Say They Still Prefer it Than Going to a Rams Game Oh Holliday… The Playoffs Start Today, So Get Your Playoff Beards Going Dudes! Dan Ceasar Weeps For the One Guy that Doesn’t Have Cable, a Friend or Knows Where a Bar Is God the Rams are Freaking Horrible Blind Item: Infidelity and Baseball Played in the Snow? Mizzou Forgets How Cell Phones Work The Rams Continue the Suckfest We Want A New Cheesy Cardinals Promo! Cardinals Willing to Make a Deal For Postseason Tickets Joe Buck Tells Everyone St. Louis is the Best Sports Town Kyle Turley Talks to Punching Kitty About Music and Brain Injuries Rams Still Suck Think Again If You Want Steve Jackson to Tweet After Games More on Dave Duncan’s Sandy Vagina We Hate to Say it but Dave Duncan is Pretty Much a Pussy St. Louis Slam Win Championship: Way to Go Dudes! The Cards Come to Terms With Their #1 Pick People Really Don’t Like KSDK’s Cardinal Games Its August, the Cubs Fans Are Starting to Get Restless (and Drunk) Well So Much for All That Rolen Drama How’s Rams Camp Going? Lets Ask Steven Jackson Is the Mayor Starting a Rams Riot? Yadi Gets the ESPN Magazine Cover Mark Buehrle Does the Letterman Top 10 A Holliday Weekend in St. Louis Cardinals + Creed + Awesome Effect = Videogasm Chris Duncan: A Retrospective Has Chris Duncan Been Traded? Yes! (Updated x 4) Pujols Hates the Riverfront Times Apparently Musial is Overlooked in St. Louis Too Cardinals Fans Boo Cub Player, Everyone at Home Loses Their Mind All Star 2009: The Obama First Pitch No Matter How Many Animals You’ve Tortured, You Still Love Pujols Watch the Home Run Derby Chatter on FriendFeed Your Celebrity Softball All Stars! What the Hell is Vince Coleman Doing? If You Actually Got a Ticket to the All Star Game, Don’t Bring Anything An Index: St. Louis Sports Stars on Twitter Tony LaRussa Bows to the Mighty Will of Twitter Classic Steven Jackson: His 2002 College Crib We Don’t Get Fox’s All-Star Game Commercial Legends and Celebrity Softball Game Rosters Announced ESPN Says the Rams Are the Worst Value In All of Sports The Chicago Tribune Writes A Guide to St. Louis Chris Perez We Hardly Knew Ye Post Dispatch Sports Finds Twitter Cy Young Pitcher Enjoys a Little Fast Eddie’s Before Spring Training St. Louis’ Overbearing Christians Now Think Super Bowl Refs Hate Warner’s Faith St. Louis Loves Kurt Warner The 2009 U.S. Chess Championship Comes to Saint Louis The Cubs Suck: Snow Version
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Substitute Teachers are the Best! St. Charles County Touts Lower Teen Pregnancy Rate That Bridgeton Landfill Stink Won’t Kill You…Yet Bridgeton Battles Mutant Stink Larry Rice Wants to Buy a YMCA for $1 The Powell Square Building Will Be Coming Down…On Purpose! Local Group to Offer “Almost Free” Gun Training to Teachers O’Fallon, Illinois’ Water is Stinky A St. Louis Guy Just Looking For His Personal Secretary…To Have Sex With They Blew Up the Blanchette Bridge Well the Ladue Middle School Sure Sounds Fun The Free Bathroom Trash Guy Got Back to Us Some Guy in High Ridge Brandon Lee’d His Friend Dad Accidentally Shoots Kid While Talking About Gun Safety A Suicidal Florissant Man Blew Up His House RallySTL.org MetroLink Stations to Get New Art No One Asked For The Castlewood Treatment Center Sounds Scary and Awesome The Many Model Faces of Karlie Kloss Some Guy in South County Built a Castle The Fort Zumwalt East Junior Varsity Football Team Needs to Take a Moment and Think About What They Did “Free” Bathroom Trash Sold on Craigslist for $150 Are the St. Louis Zoo’s Halloween Decorations Racist? Sometimes the Only Way to Win an Argument is to Throw Yourself From a Moving Car Lets Save the North City Community Center You Guys! Best School Lunch Ever and All It Took Was a Bunch of Sewage A North St. Louis Woman Set Herself on Fire After a Gas Fight As of Today, It’s Illegal to Yell in Missouri Churches St. Louis Jail Sounds Like Movie Jail Collinsville School Bus Drops Off Kid At Wrong Stop, Leaves Him Wandering the Streets Six Flags Busts Peeping Tom on Water Park Staff Trouble At SLU: Law School Dean Leaves With Middle Fingers in the Air Kid Drives Over A Lady Because Jimmy John’s Screwed Up His Order Guy Records Himself Flushing Each Toilet in SLU’s Ritter Hall Some Guy Got A Lot Hurt By a Little Train At the Transportation Museum 12 Year-Old Tased in South County Victoria’s Secret Fredbird the Motorcycle Stuntman Midtown Apartment Building Burns Again Missouri’s Ellie Kemper (Erin from The Office) Got Married Brad Pitt’s Mom Dislikes the Gays Oh Fireworks! …Maybe Dog Poop Causes Fight at Lucas Park Mizzou Study: Fat Kids Can’t Do Math The Boston Public Library Posted a Bunch of Retro St. Louis Post Cards Two Harbor Seals Died on Their Way to the St. Louis Zoo No One in St. Louis Bothered to Pick Up that Dead Crazy Downtown Deer From Friday You Really Don’t Want to See Anyone With the Nickname “Thickness” Parked Outside a School Policeman Fake Arrests Kid During Career Day Horrible Kitten Crime With Cute Photo Chaser St. Louis Has the World’s Tallest Chess Piece Please Stop Rapping About St. Louis Two Year Old Found Wandering the Streets of Florissant Some Guy Crashed His Plane and Then Walked Home A Train Tipped Over in De Soto A Crazy Fight Went Down at Meramec Community College This Week in Duh: St. Charles County is Healthy, and St. Louis City is Not The New Tornado Warnings Are Here and They Are Gonna Scare the Crap Out of You! City Officials Foil Earth’s Plot to Swallow St. Louis Someone Barely Modified a Murdered Baby’s Tombstone Guy Rescues Kitties From Dumpster Bag Here’s a Horrible Idea: Lets Go Try to Convert Kids to Our Religion Because We’re Assholes! Two St. Charles Kids Were Raised in Stinky House Filled With Lizards Snakes and Rats The ‘End Eminent Domain’ Sign Can Stay, But Lets Change It Because We Have Some Sweet Ideas! Ferguson Woman Somehow Causes Accident While Falling Asleep in Drive Through County Problems: Not So Automatic, Automatic Doors Guy Claims He Was Car Jacked on Highway K, Police Immediately Call Him a Liar KMOV Keeps Us All Updated on What Passes For News in Wildwood Wentzville Church Trivia Night Ends With Accidental Shooting Flow Chart Friday: Should I Shoot That Guy Over There? Flow Chart Friday: How To Stop Being a St. Louis Tool Dumb Kid Accidentally Arrives in St. Louis, Wanders Around Town Like a Jackass The New St. Louis Holiday Card Has Been Selected! Missouri Wants Permission to Leave a Few Children Behind Pujols’ Agent is a Horrible Person but Loves Hookers St. Louis University Wants to Demolish the Pevely Building Did the St. Charles Sugar Plum Fairy Get Fired For Cussing or For Showing a Little Skin? The St. Charles Sugar Plum Fairy is a Dirty Girl and Got Fired David Freese Had to Go Shopping Yesterday with ESPN’s Erin Andrews Girl That Accidentally Hung Herself in a Haunted House is Doing OK And the Best Post-World Series Photo is… St. Louis Kids Love New Game: Choking Themselves Summing Up the Weekend Jon Hamm Thinks St. Louis Kinda Sucks Spilled Chicken Parts Cause Traffic on Interstate 70 Pie Charts For Science It Took 11 Days to For Someone to Notice a Dead Body at the Ameristar Parking Garage Crazy Guy Claims the Arch Can Control the Weather Webster Counseling Student Sues After Being Dropped for Lack of Empathy Building Explodes in Joplin, MO Lil Wayne Busted His Head at a St. Louis Skate Park Last Night The Jersey School District Hates Colored Hair, Might Be Pro-Cancer High School Summer Camp “Pranked” With Pot Brownies The Internet Says St. Louis Has a PR Problem Won’t Someone in St. Louis Just Have Sex With This Woman?! Sound Familiar? Kings of Leon Leave Dallas Concert Early St. Louis Police Officers Go To Hospital Over Mystery Stink Hermann Band Director Sends Sexy Emails to Students People Shocked in Granite City Pool St. Peters Motorcyclist Beats the Heat By Riding Naked St. Louis’ Former Archbishop Resigns From Post For Protecting Pedophile Priests The Enquirer Says Jon Hamm is Headed Towards Rehab Trucker Spills Acid in Two Towns Along I-44 Man Fights Ballwin For His Right to Flip Off Bad Drivers Chuck Berry to Get Statue Despite Whiners Southwest Airlines Pilot on Flight Attendants: “…just a continuous stream of gays and grannies and grandes” Onions Spilled on Interstate 55 as Missouri’s Truck Spilled Sandwich Nears Completion Contamination 2011 is Upon Us! Cardinals Dominate Cincinnati’s “Most Disliked Sports Personalities” Society Still Going Despite Yesterday’s Civil Unions Larry Hughes Gave Out Free Gas Former Promoter Says Nelly Blew All His Money on Gambling, Steroids and Coke A Former Miss Missouri Married Tony Romo Fulton Tornado Alarm Snoozed For One Full Day Too Soon St. Charles Netflix Users! Joplin: Before and After Off-Duty Cop Shoots Himself at Imo’s Macho Man Randy Savage: Cardinal Farmhand Squirrel Takes Out Power to Two Thousand Granite City Residents Red 7 Club: Anything Goes, but No Means No Somebody’s Ghetto Ass Just Won 1.6 Million Dollars It’s Raining Homeless Children in St. Louis The Fox Theatre Burns, 2/8ths of the Fabulous Lost in Fire Plato, Missouri is the New Population Center Hopeville Residents Get Moved Again…to Apartments! Worse Than Us: Detroit Can’t Read Chicken Parts Spread Across Highway 40 From Mystery Truck The Important Thing Was She Gave the Pervert the Correct Time St. Louis Craigslist User Wants You to Help Make Cannabis…Uh…Man I’m Hungry? Tony LaRussa’s Daughter Makes it on 2011 Raiderette Squad Ryan Franklin Shaves Beard, Only Finds More Horribleness Underneath Damn That’s a Nice Coyote Hat The Office’s St. Louis Girls Start a Bake-Off Passed Out Pirates Fan Gets Face Queef Gary Sinise Was in St. Louis Yesterday There’s One Less Thing to Crush Up and Snort Legally in St. Charles County Former President Bill Clinton to Speak at University of Central Missouri For Some Reason Craigslist: Searching for the Real Housewife of Jefferson County Southeast Missouri Sheriff Deputy Shoots “Dangerous” Chihuahua The Kid That Taped The USC Students Banging on a Building is a Cardinals Fan Old Photo of the Beatles at Busch Stadium Surfaces Kansas City Wins Google Contest For Free Crazy Fast Internet Take That First Baptist Church of St. Peters! There Was a Jumper on the Jefferson Barracks Bridge The Old Rock House Website Is Hacked…Yes, Again. August Busch IV to Leave AB InBev’s Board The Old Rock House’s New Website Has Already Been Hacked Drunken St. Louis Lipdub: Bohemian Rhapsody That’s Probably Not Fog Around the Weather Man’s House Archbishop: Long Dead Priest Probably Touched Kids Kirkwood Middle School Doesn’t Like Hell…or Jesus…Maybe Both What’s the Deal With This Billboard on Gravois? Did Pujols and the Cardinals Censor Joe Sports Fan? St. Louis is Bored Raccoon Attacks Infant Because of a Headband Your Alton Tax Dollars at Work! Missouri Man Dies During Gun Safety Class Old Hoarder’s Death Leads to Mummy Discovery Local Teacher Quits After Student Discovers Her Pornographic Past North City Residents Want Laclede Gas to Fill Their Holes Mardi Gras Condom Beads, Because No One Wants You Drunks to Be Someone’s Mom New Emergency Siren System to Launch in April; Should be Just as Confusing as the Current One Truck Spills 20 Tons of Mayonaise on I-44 Near Springfield St. Louis Plans to Close Down the Grand Bridge Next Month Jay Leno Still Isn’t Funny Woman Who Didn’t Know She Was Pregnant, Gives Birth. New Baby Immediately the Smartest in the Family. Arch Worker Pinned Between Arch Tram and a Hard Place Yesterday Amazon.com Says St. Louis is the 18th Most Romantic City This is Probably Why Security Guards Just Carry Flashlights Governor Nixon Says We’re In an Emergency Three MetroLink Trains Stalled Due to Power Outages Kyle Turley on Weed: “That Would be the One Bob.” We’re All Going to Die: “Historic” Winter Storm is Coming Mountain Lion Spotted in Chesterfield Mayor Slay Declared Yesterday “Lewis Place Day” A Homeless Guy Walking Down 270 Finally Got a Mail Delivery Homeless Camp Hopeville Under Fire Over Fires Moms Like Me? Over 30% Smoke Weed! Finding Things in the Weather Radar is Fun Possible MRI Explosion Threatens to Destroy Sunset Hills August Busch IV Bares Soul to Deb Peterson That Poor Fire Department Lost Phone Service and City Math is Hard Chuck Berry Collapses on Stage Two Planes Bumped at Lambert August Busch IV’s Girlfriend Found Dead at His Home MetroLink Train Takes Out Truck Breaking News: Small Town Missouri People Don’t Like “Adult” Stores She “Didn’t Say Anything” so He Stuck His Hand Down Her Pants The Beautiful Kind aka Kendra Holliday, in Child Custody Fight St. Louis Salvation Army Finally Gets Credit Card Donation Kettles, Still Not Cool with Gay Stuff Hopeville Homeless Camp Not Gone, Just Somewhere Else Now A Guy Died During a Parking Lot Crash on Hampton Guy Runs From Lambert TSAs, Totally Gets Away With It! North City Home Catches Fire Twice in One Night WTF: Shirtless Smoking of a St Louis Rey Cigar St. Louis Starts Prepping It’s 250th Birthday Celebration St. Louis 12th in Gonorrhea, 2nd in Chlamydia Hoarder’s House Burns Down in Fairview Heights Kid Falls in to City Sewer Mizzou Freshman Fell Out of His Dorm Area Man Makes Mustang Ugly for the Troops The Timberland High School School Board is Still Retarded Dude That Voted Twice in 2008 Can Never Vote Again Who Farted? Looking At You Maryland Heights! Oh the Humanity: Zoo Train Derails Update on The Beautiful Kind’s Coming Out Party PETA: The Circus Elephants Have Arthritis! Lincoln County Girl Lost in Woods for Seven Hours Comes Home to Weird Dad St. Louis Sex Blogger, The Beautiful Kind, Bears All Love Lost and Found in St. Louis Lambert Airport to Get Full Body Scanners Report: Cancer a bonus to the already priceless eyesore that is Carter Carburetor in North St. Louis Missouri’s Most Eligible Bachelor is From St. Louis St. Louis Maker of Tea Party Coloring Book Receives Death Threats Some Kid Got Hit in the Face With an Arrow Wait, So We Aren’t Going to Be Getting Our Money From the Icelandic Lottery?! St. Charles County Bike Ban Dies Race Map of St. Louis Based on Census Data Looks About Right Brentwood Man Found in Car 7 Hours After Wreck 73 Year Old Man Killed After Standing on I-44 Saturday Kiss Cam Hangover: The Top 10 Kiss Cam Photoshops Blake Hawksworth’s Sister Erin is Kinda Hot The Cardinals Kiss Cam: Looking at Your Fat Ass Isn’t Any Better Than Two Dudes Local Billboard For Atheists Probably Means The World Will End Soon or Something Rappin’ Ex-Cop Got Shot For All the Wrong Reasons PETA Protests Children’s Hospital over Kitty Poking Eighth Grade Class Attacked by Yellow Jackets! Maybe You Shouldn’t Cross the Highway on Foot St. Louis in Photos: A Shel Silverstein Tattoo 18 Year Old Girls Ratchet Up the Hurt on Computer Nerds, Crash Car Through Computer Store Awesome Baboon Hoax Dropped on St. Louis Yesterday Washington Avenue Closed for Bomb Squad Missouri Funeral Protests are Legal Again St. Louis Native Taylor Momsen is a Freak and We Love It! There Was a Funny Bus Crash Yesterday St. Charles County Also Hates Bicycles It’s Really Hot in St. Louis…Here’s How Hot Remember to Wash Your 7-Year-Olds Only on the Delicate Cycle Jenna Fischer Got Married by the Guy From Survivor St. Louis Under Lightning Siege! Craigslist: Saw You in Them Pants Giant Catfish Caught in Missouri River Found to Be Lindsay Lohan Ever Wondered What St. Louis Looked Like Before the Arch? Some Dumbass Church Will Be on a St. Louis Hate Speech Tour This Weekend Slapped Rapper Commentary: Now The Dude Ignorant… Top 10 Tips For Those Moving to the City St. Louis is Manly St. Louis Youths, Stop Barking at People. You Look F*cking Retarded. St. Louis Has Underground Explosions Now Leaving St. Louis: If You’re Reading This, Someone Just Ditched You Woman at Komen Walk Shields Herself From Cancerous Thing Off Camera St. Louis Native Son, John Goodman 1/8th the Man He Used to Be News to Only White People: Black Guys Get Pulled Over a Lot Science Explains Why East St. Louis Sucks Giant Zoo Elephant Butt Three Chicks Got Hit By Lightning Another Study Says it Sucks to Live in St. Louis Top 5 Name Suggestions For that Dumb Owl St. Louis Apparently Big in Chess Scene So We Pick Who Should Play the Pieces. Weird St. Louis Professor Katz Kicked Off Oil Super-Team Figures The Weird Scientist is From St. Louis State Representative Cynthia Davis and Her Funny Farm St. Louis Craigslist: Who Says Romance is Dead? Albert Pujols Has a Cousin Named Harry Johnny Londoff, Sr. Died Dumbass Guy That Thinks Craigslist Works to Get Chicks Gives Guys Tips on Grammar Is That a Gun in the Back of Your Car at Work or Are You Happy With Your Last Review? Downtown Was Blue For Autism Is That Dana Loesch on VH1’s Tough Love Couples? St. Louis to Start Charging for Trash Collection Hopeville Springs Until About a Month From Now This is the Greatest Jheri Curl Commercial Ever This is the Best Crazy Bitch Fight We’ve Seen in a While She Must Have Really Wanted a Snow Cone Guy Craps Himself at Brentwood Bar Found on Opening Day: The Greatest Shirsey Ever! Fat Lady Takes Rascal Through Drive Through Is Stacy Park a Secret Government Installation? Google Maps: Yes. It’s Raining Toddlers in Alton St. Charles County’s Last Dance with Mary Jane Are You Getting an iPad? Dude Can’t Keep That Big Eminent Domain Sign on the Side of His House St. Louis Dudes Have the 10th Biggest Wangs in America Oldest Living Missourian Dies, Tells Everyone Bogus Tips on How to Live as Long as Her Top Twenty Isn’t Bad: St. Louis Metro Ranked 18th in Population Two Brothers Get Heart Attacks at the Same Time The Timberland Highschool School Board Sucks Ass That Must Have Been One Hell of a Cookie St. Louis is the 21st Craziest City The St. Louis Connection to Corey Haim Hog Farms Ordered to Pay 11 Million Because They Smell Chuck Berry Visits His Old High School, Refuses to Take Off Stupid Hat Stripper Accused of Being Bad Parent, Replies With Only “I Know. I’m a Stripper” Unfunny Racial Joke Ruffles Feathers at Mizzou Holy Crap, the Internet Might Have Found “Chris”! St. Louis Salon Owner Suing Hollywood Studio, and Her Lawyer Pretty Clearly Hates Her Sunset Hills is a Retard Factory This Week in Duh: Living in St. Louis City is Unhealthy Obama to Visit St. Louis Kid Shoots Himself in the Ass with Shotgun Do Not Smoke the Fake Pot! Something is Wrong With the Fake Pot! Bomb Scare at the Buffalo Wild Wings Some Douche Bag Psycho Church Hates Lebanon, Missouri Love Over Pigs Feet Local Kid Gets Perfect Score on ACT St. Louis Anagrams Slut. Cottleville Mayor Likes the Wacky Tobaccy Missed Connection: Clark Kent Loves the Big Ladies St. Louis Has a Yo-Yo Expert Woman Killed While Trying to Cross I-70 Highway 40 is Still Just a Road Right? Hunter Has Internet but Bad Aim, Takes Credit For Drowning Deer St. Louis Gets Out-Skanked By Richmond, VA So Basically, Every Street in St. Louis Sucks to Cross Random Interview: Terry Blastenbrei Old Guy Gets Fake High School Diploma Because at this Point, Why Not? Missouri on Lower Half of Gay Marriage Support Take a Look at Jenna Fischer’s Kitty! Random Interview: SandyShores City Workers Throw Away Homeless Guy’s Heart Meds The Dirty Uncovers One of St. Louis’ Finest Parents Brain Dump on Things Too Short to Be a Post Random Interview: Jason Robinson Trees Get Cold Too…I Guess Tuesday Morning Protests A St. Louis Woman Sends a Letter to St. Louis Men Kansas City Judge Strokes His Gavel During Divorce Court Those Whatever-They-Are Things on 44 Are Coming Down Dave Sinclair Gets a New Address Stock Photos of White Old People Are Racist Thinks Moron Downtown Population Grows 3% Thats What You Get For Having Arkansas Spell Stuff For You Yoked By Our Own History Atheist Billboard Angers Freedom-Hating Super Christians Who Says There Isn’t Fine Real Estate Available in St. Louis? Would Increasing the Drivers License Age Limit Create a Utopia? How To Endear Yourself to Coworkers: Fake Cancer U.S. Education Secretary to Visit St. Louis Saying “It Can’t Possibly be THAT Bad!” St. Louis Chemical Trap Finally Nabs a Homeless Guy St. Louis Finally Gets Some Swine Flu Vaccine St. Louis is #40 in Job Availability Blind Item: Some People Play in the Snow All Year Long A Fun Night in the Cat Box Jackie Joyner Kersee is a Mac Rants and Raves: Hey Douche Some Black Guys Shut Down Highway 70 Missed Connections: You Are My Black Sarah Palin Good Kitty / Bad Kitty: Asher Roth at Home Nightclub Missed Connections: iLove You Apple Store Girl Lori Drew Acquitted of Hacking, but Not of Being a Bitch With an Ugly Mom Haircut Beauty is in the Eye of the Crazy Letter-Writing Beholder Missed Connections: Get Your Nerd Freak On! Missed Connection: Thumbs Up For Condoms! Craigslist: In South County Treadmill Means Oven CraigsList: This One’s Not About Love Craigslist: I Sucked Your… Baby Elephant Gets Herpes At St. Louis Zoo St. Louis is 10th Most Miserable City Prop 8 Maps Reveals Surprisingly Low Bigot Numbers in St. Louis Area Today’s Missed Connection: Dodge My Balls Free Beer for Ladies: August Busch IV is Back on the Market St. Louis is the Asthma Capital for 2009 Guy With Vested Interests Says Population Rising Downtown VitalVoice Profiles Ed Reggi STL Craigslist: I’m Sorry and a Marriage Demand Why Stop With Obama Boulevard? The Battle Between Fat Chicks and Cute Chicks Rages On The St. Louis Twitter Scene Responds to President Obama To the Chick Going Down on Some Dude in Eureka… Your New U.S. President, Brought to you by “Mall Cop”! President Obama’s First Act to Name This “National No Other News Than Me” Day
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5 On Your Side Has Full Blown Ads Glad To See STLToday Hasn’t Lost That Magic Headline Touch Quick Fixes For The Local Meda, Part 2: Because We Still Care (Harder) Quick Fixes for the Local Media, Because We Care KSDK Announces New “Dancing With the Stars” Cast, Just Uses Any Old Black Guy For DL Hughley KMOX Decides Who is “Pervy” Now So Much Snow! Maybe Just Stick to Old People Music KLOU East St. Louis Video Taping Food Stamp Fights To Share With the World Jenna Fischer Loves Imo’s The RFT Called That Craigslist Guy The Telegraph Calls St. Louis ‘America’s Greatest City’ RallySTL.org Old Timey Gossip Columnist Jerry Berger Accused of Sexual Misconduct Once Again in the Absence of Anything to Talk About, Local News Points the Camera at Grass Video Friday: Bill O’Reilly Hates the Post Dispatch KMOV’s Matt Sczesny Got Beat Up St. Louis Hates Jason Motte via Twitter…and Then Likes Him via Twitter Cat Sings to Collective Soul Cardinals Fan Does Something Dirty Next to Jim Hayes on Fox Sports Midwest Fox2 Sports Broadcast: Headline Goes Here KMOV to Add Sharon Reed as News Anchor St. Louis City Prosecutor Loves the Spice Girls Missed Connections: You Saw Me Get Tazed St. Louis’ Not-So-Missed Connections “This American Life” Features a St. Louis Guy Who Keeps Losing His Wallet Family Guy Thinks St. Louis’ Landmark is Terrorist-Proof SNY Broadcasted Mets No Hitter Reaction From Both R.A. 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Missouri Band is Sad About Making Kids Sad Street Musician: A CurrentTV Video Flimed in the Loop Lambert Add Window on St. Louis, Quickly Shuts Shades Schnucks Door Fail Sonic Youth Has the Sexiest Fans Farm Aid Coming to St. Louis Lake St. Louis is the Ninth Best Place to Live in America The Cancer Project Says Hot Dogs Cause Cancer, Tasty Tasty Cancer The Wiggles are Coming! Finding Love at Pridefest (by the Porta Potties) The RFT Tells You the Best Places to Eat Late St. Louis Pridefest 2009 Mardi Gras Inc Doesn’t Want to See Your Boobs Go to Blueberry Hill Today For The Gettysburger! St. Louis Road FAIL Under 17 and in The Loop? Your Night Ends at 10p! Watch Out Underage Drinkers of Maryland Heights! Is Your Metro Bus Line Getting Killed Off? So Much For Not Getting the Gremlins Wet: Lake St. Louis’ Polar Bear Plunge The Hell on Heels Tour at Cicero’s Tonight! Do Ladies Like to be Hit On at the Gym? Your Guide to Each Side of 270 And the Crown Goes To…! A Pageant Retrospective in Jaw Distension STLDrunks.com Captures Example of “Ugly Friend” in the Wild What the Hell Was Going on @ F15teen This Weekend? Are Parking Meters Breaking Down the Fabric of Representative Democracy? Found Concert Video: NIN in St. Louis
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East St. Louis Video Taping Food Stamp Fights To Share With the World Missouri Lawmaker Wants to Discourage Sex Offenders From Hiring Real Estate Agents Missouri Representative Wants to Tax Violent Video Games, Remind Everyone We’re Retarded Out Here Missouri Governor Jay Nixon Wants Your Stupid Kid to Be Smarter Check Out the New Missouri Drivers License! Senator McCaskill: Taking on the FAA For You and Your iPad The New Menards Store in O’Fallon Ain’t Gonna Happen, Damn You Obama! Oh Man the New New Northwest Plaza is Going to be Awesome! (JK, LOL!) Go Vote Tiny Fey Blasts Todd Akin Mayor Slay Proves He’s Horrible at Sports Betting Springfield Pastor Gives Surprising Equality Speech Some Loose Sex-Loving TV Skank Endorsed Todd Akin Did General Enyart Push Judge Cason and Not Apologize and Does Anyone Care? Are the STLPD Using City Officers to Investigate Online Piracy Rather Than Our Local Violent Crime Issues? Lewis Reed is Running For Mayor of St. Louis Goodbye Police Chief Dan Isom Translating STL Police Chief Dan Isom’s Denials About Leaving the Position National Democrats Modify Romney Logo to Include Todd Akin Todd Akin is Legitimately Retarded So Many Prostitutes! God Voted For Todd Akin, Claims Todd Akin Even the Cops Don’t Want to Walk the Streets of St. Louis No One Likes It When Mike Carter Calls Them Union Station To Be Sold; Might End Up a Water Park Alderman Scott Ogilvie Doesn’t Like Gas Station Jell-O Shots Kirkwood Was Totally Racist a Long Time Ago Pevely Missouri Doesn’t Give a Crap About Your Teeth The Valley Park Mayor is So Exhausted He Argued, Ran and Spit on the Police KMOV Reporter Watches Grass Grow in O’Fallon Larry Rice Isn’t Going to Tell You Where He’s Planning on Stashing the Homeless The Rush Limbaugh Bust in Jeff City Has It’s Own 24-Hour Surveillance Camera St. Louis to Offer Parking Ticket Amnesty Missouri Representative Zach Wyatt Comes Out to Fight Anti-Gay Bill Missouri Wants to Ban “Gay” Talk From Schools Newt Gingrich Was Bitten By a St. Louis Zoo Penguin Missouri Might Allow Advertisements on School Buses State Politician Wants to Make Gas Stations Notify You About Price Hikes Missouri Half Way To Being Annoying Obviously Racist State Who Protends Not To Be Rush Limbaugh is Going to be in the Hall of Famous Missourians February 29th: An Extra Day in St. Louis is an Extra Day to Die! Mountain Grove Might Get a Horse Slaughter House No Matter How Many ‘My Little Ponies’ You Owned as a Kid The New Emerald Van Has Been Released Are County Leaders Shipping Their Homeless to the City? (Probably.) The New Arch Grounds Plan Reminds Us of Something Dirty Missouri Governor Hopeful Dave Spence Smartly Tried to Hide Home Economics Major The Brooklyn, Illinois Mayor is a Total Dick Have You Heard the One Where the Occupiers Met With the Mayor’s Staff? The Cabbies Respond to Us Making Fun of Them St. Louis Cab Drivers are Pissed Because Convention Has Their Own Transportation East St. Louis Police Chief Fires Himself President Barack Obama Ruined Your Drive Home, Got Yelled At, Had Pizza, Left Governor Nixon Wants to Let Uniformed People Cut In Line The St. Louis Police Department Wants to Buy Some Fancy New Clothes Kirkwood Lady Thinks Spending Nearly A Thousand Dollars on a Banner Made a Difference It’s Your Last Chance to Buy Northwest Plaza Springfield Congressman Billy Long Relates Debt Crisis to Amy Winehouse Translating Police Chief Dan Isom’s Response To Citizen’s Police Complaints Some Old Lady in St. Charles Used a Lot of Water We Gave Mayor Slay His Own Meme! Pujols Contract Season: Totally Going Just Like They Planned It! The Missouri State Senators Are Tone Deaf Buttholes If You Pay For the Zoo, Then Take Some Cheap Parking Gas is Expensive Jailed State Senator Jeff Smith Tells Us What a “Prison Wallet” Is Foodbank Tries to Trick You in to Being Charitable While Working Out Tony LaRussa and Ray Vinson’s Awkward Handshake Will Forever Haunt Our Dreams Lady Sues City Over Trash Charge State Auditor: University City is Run By Morons The City Earning Tax Stays For Another Five Years Busch Stadium Gives the Leftovers to Homeless People Pro-Gaddafi Protests Mistakenly Think St. Louis Has Anything to Do With Libya Mayor Slay is Still Begging the Missouri Senate For Control of Police Department Fairview Heights Aldermen Could Use a Good Spanking University City Wants to Ruin Everything By Charging People to Park Hazelwood Hates the Girl Scouts Governor Nixon Gives St. Louis More Jogging Trails, Designated Areas for Muggers No Layoffs for St. Louis City Police! The Fire Department However… St. Louis to be the Proud Owners of the Worst Named Bridge Ever The City’s New Revenue Plan: Phantom No Parking Signs St. Charles Hates Tattoo Shops, America, and Kittens (Probably) Charter Isn’t Doing Any Better Ward 6 Alderwoman Kacie Starr Triplett Seems Pretty Popular With Everyone But Her Constituents Missouri House Submits Bill That Forces Surgery to be All Sober and Boring Rapper Pissed ESPN Used His Song No One’s Heard of on Their National Broadcast The Democrats Like Charlotte, North Carolina Better Than Us The United States of Shame Featuring Your Poor Ass Counting Down to Pujols’ New Contract Deadline Missouri’s Credit Scores Below National Average Town and Country Alderman is a Horrible Liar Governor Nixon Doesn’t Wear His Seat Belt New city attraction signs aren’t free to businesses Missouri Attorney General Chris Koster Lists the 15 Worst Charities Sports Agent Harold Lewis Got a Really Good Deal on a House in Lake St. Louis $800,000 of Lotto Winnings Left Unclaimed in South County Area Fire Department Can’t Keep the Lights On St. Peters Forgets What County They are in, Bans Chewing Tobacco Spit Past Missouri Lotto Winner Tried to Sell Infant Grandson Election 2010: Choose Your Own Adventure U2 is Coming to Busch Stadium The Admiral Riverboat is on Ebay Frontenac: Oh You Like Charity? Take That Crap Somewhere Else! St. Louis Has the Cheapest Gas in the United States Apple to Open Its Largest Mall Store in the US Saturday at the Galleria 6 Pretty Much Worthless Ebay-ed St. Louis Items That Monkey Has a Lady on Its Ass! Stan Kroenke Looks Like the New Rams Owner Kroenke Tries Putting the Rams on Layaway St. Louis Wins “Other Guys” Premiere Sam Bradford is Rich Biatch! Update: Former Cardinal Mike Matheny Still Squatting at Home Those Dirt Cheap Ads Have Cost at Total of $9.2 Million! Charles Schmitz Thinks St. Louis City Should Eat St. Louis County City to Jack up Water Prices, Start Charging for Trash St. Louis Gives Woman the Job of Postmaster Now That the Job is Irrelevant Lacy Clay and Russ Carnahan Hate the Internet Pujols’ Agent Quits Firm Missouri Spent $110,000 on Boring Welcome Signs Is the Sound Going Quiet Already? Globe Democrat: We’re Doing Fine, But Laying Off People Anyway Wanna Book Ray Lankford? It’s Gonna Cost You $5,000 Inbev Makes Bud Light Official NFL Beer Sponsor This is How the Nation Thinks of Missourians Russ Carnahan Isn’t Above the Law, but He is Across the River From It Top 10 Things We Wish Stan Kroenke Would Step in and Buy Man Wins Lottery Twice, and All You Have are Anal Warts Missouri Gets 54 Million Dollars for Winning Crappiest Schools Contest Getting a Clydesdale to Dump on Your Lawn Will Cost You $2000 Stan Kroenke Was All Like POW and Khan Was All Like WHAT?! Over Last Minute Rams Bid Top 5 Best and Worst Cardinals 2010 Promotions O’Fallon and St. Peters Missouri Are Government Kiss-ups Us: Forest Park Sucks to Drive Through, City: Here’s more signs. St. Louis Company Invents Graffiti Detection System Illinois Wants Four Day School Weeks, Apparently Hates Parents Mayor Challenges City to Mail in Census to Win Dumb Bet with Kansas City St. Charles County Workers Banned From Texting, Apparently Using Honor System Lake St. Louis Bans Smoking Too Anheuser-Busch InBev Sues Guy Making Baby Beer Bottles St. Louis’ Rich People You’ve Never Heard Of K2 is Banned and KMOV Figures Out Capitalism Missouri State Rep Cynthia Davis: All Guns All the Time! The State Senate Has Nothing To Do Governor Should Just Play Lotto Help Budget Says Hilarious Politician St. Louis City Faces Budget Cuts Skanky Eureka Hotel Gets Sued by Six Flags Governor Jay Nixon Got Some Very Fancy Chinese Delivery The President’s Casino to Get Assassinated By Missouri Lake St. Louis Creates Way for Bored Housewives to Get Rid of Latino Couple Down the Street Dr. Seuss is Mayor Slay’s New Speech Writer Rich Guy Toys With Science Center The South Butt Creator is Like Totally Stoked Dude Wentzville GM Plant Makes 2 Millionth Van, Last Employee Left Cheered Really Hard Normandy to Eat Wellston, Not in a Sexy Way Bonneville: Advertising on the Rocks? Mister Squiggles as 99 Problems, but Sales Ain’t One Ameren to Try Walking on Sunshine Jack Dorsey: First Twitter and Now Square! Charter is Almost Out of Bankruptcy, Here Are Some Tips From Us When You Account for the Season, the Cardinals Aren’t All That Cheap Pfizer to Cut 600 Jobs, Everyone Left to Get Two Offices! When is Too Early For Christmas Music? Dirt Cheap vs Fred’s Cheapo Depot Apparently Honks Count for Congressional Votes Now WIL Jocks Make More Than Arch Jocks New Town Developer Files For Bankruptcy Would Yadi Molina Skip an Autograph Event? Classical Music Station 99.1 Finds Jesus Eye For an Eye: Missouri Taking Prisoner’s Left Behind Money Out of the Rubble of Jamestown Mall Comes “Lindbergh Place”? Doug Duckworth vs Paul McKee Banned T-Shirt Means Big Business For Shop Republican Kids to Get a 5-Day Weekend? Marlene Davis Isn’t A Fan of Midtown Alley, But Loves 3am Drinking Sedalia, Missouri’s School District is Run By Spineless Morons St. Louis To Keep Sucking Until 2014 Mr. Smith Gets Kicked Out of Jefferson City Stay Classy St. Louis: Health Care Fighting Oh Crap, the Mayor is Reading The Missouri Supreme Court Thinks We are Stupid Bonneville Employees Take a Salary Cut St. Charles County Ambulance Board Members Know How to Party Dude Works for McDonald’s for 20 Years and Gets a Dumb Cake Local ISP UVerse Blocking Access to 4Chan.org Clayton Bans Smoking, University City Complains Clayton Used to Be Cool Maida Coleman Finds Way Around Pesky Primaries Post Dispatch Uncovers Towing Scandal During Mardi Gras March 3rd Mayoral Primary Race Warming to Room Temperature Confirmed: Charter to File For Bankruptcy Mayor Slay Praises Reed For Red Light Camera Changes Are Office Parties the Secret to Keep Employees Happy These Days Pictures of One Crazy Day at Denny’s Laclede Gas is Doing Just Fine Thanks AmerenUE Has Good Timing With their Rate Hikes The Pageant’s Website Really Sucks Wanna Buy the Naming Rights for Your Kid’s High School Gym? The Hits Keep Coming: Charter Fined By FCC Charter Close to Filing for Bankruptcy! Is ClearChannel Clearing House Tomorrow Along With the Bush Family?
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OMG You Guys! We Love You Too! Time to Kinda Say Goodbye We Totally Forgot Our Own Birthday, We’re Four We Won Another RFT Web Award Our Favorite Stories of 2012 Your Favorite Punching Kitty Stories of 2012 According to Facebook Your Favorite Punching Kitty Stories for 2012 (Page Views) Sorry, Here’s the Booty Pillow Off This Week More Ways to Peruse the Punching Kitty Archives What a Crappy Labor Day Fixed: RSS Feed Images Punching Kitty on the John Carney Show: 08.09.2012 Punching Kitty on the John Carney Show: 08.02.2012 Spotty Posting This Week Draftmark Releases New Beer So We Drank Some A Random Look Back at Previous Posts That We Read Last Night and Made Us LOL Dear Punching Kitty: First excited, Then Sad, but Always Stupid The John Carney Show Segment: June 14th, 2012 Apparently We’re Worse Than Stealing Plants Traveling This Week Happy Valentine’s Day! GIF Week: The Big Finish With the Chick From Our Bumpers GIF Week: A Look Back Quick Site Updates Punching Kitty Turns Three and Launches New Redesign The Inevitable 2011 Round Up Dear Punching Kitty: Happy Holidays Edition KSDK Sports 2012 Looks Like the Worst Game Ever Woah There Onion, You’re Stealing Our Schtick! The Legend of Links Kitten Wrestling We’re Sick, Be Back Tomorrow We Made St. Louis Magazine’s 2011 A-List We’re Back! Impromptu Vacation One Year Ago: The Top 8 May 2010 Posts We’re Kinda in the Corle 2 Da Video Taking a Couple of Days Off We’ll Be Back Tomorrow The Video Page is Fixed We Were On The Q With Mark Bland For Your Thursday: A Kitten Being Hugged by a Monkey Back at Full Strength Monday Virginia Kerr is a Good Sport Thanks RFT: We’re the Best “Local Celebrity Site” We Just Realized That We’re Two Years Old Now Thanks Riverfront Times for the Web Award Finalist Selection More Lists: Our Favorite Posts of 2010 Year Ending Lists: 2010′s Most Read Posts Merry Christmas Everyone! Kitties: You Think Having Hiccups are Bad? Try Gassy Hiccups. Taking a Day Off Random Kitty Stuff: Fainting Kittens NBC Nightly News Takes Political Poll at Woofies?! Listen to KDHX 88.1 Tonight @ 8:30 Meaningless Friday Post: Kitten Massage Therapy Corrections: KLOU and Some Other Stuff We Got Fanmail From Fox2’s Charlie Marlow Last Night! Our 1,001st Post So, About That Whole KSDK Interview… Come Get Judged in Your Bikini by Our Editor on Saturday We Were on KDHX’s Collateral Damage Who the F*ck Does This Kid Think He Is?! Easy Riding With Punching Kitty Advertising Prices So Low You’ll Think “Wow. Those are really low. I should purchase some of that.” Links From a Clown Dear Punching Kitty: You’re Going to Hell Did We Miss Anything? Punching Kitty One a Year Ago On Vacation Links: The World At Large, Filtered Down and Delivered. Please Tip. That Whole Pretzel Thing Dear Punching Kitty: Me Use Internet Explorer. Me No Smart About Internet. Links For Your Blue Monday Looking for Local Advertising on Punching Kitty Dear Punching Kitty: More on the Strippermobile Domestic Disasters Montage For Your Friday Enjoyment Oh Hey, a List of Links! April Fools Day 2010 We Need Some Dirt People! Mission Impossible Cats, Because You Know, the Whole Kitty Thing We Have a Mobile Site! A Jenna Fischer Chaser Punching Kitty Featured in Riverfront Times Tuesday Cat Massage Updated: Listen to Mike on 550am @ 2:40 Did It Just Get Sexier In Here? Sorry, We’re Sick Punching Kitty Turns One! Our Favorite Posts of 2009 We Want Your New Year’s Videos! 2009: Our Most Popular Posts We Got a Letter From Charles Jaco Last Night! Hope You Had a Good Thanksgiving! Taking a Thanksgiving Break Links: Because We Were Writing a Long Post All Night We Got Fireballed Upgrades Are Happening. See You Monday! Links: Were You Click To Get the News From Someone Else Visit St. Louis! It’s Difficulty is ‘Easy’ and It’s Only 6 Steps! Post Dispatch Runs Out of News, Starts Posting Headshots on Home Page Sorry, We Got Stuck In A Hard Place Last Night Come Throw Things at Our Editor and Learn Yourself Something About the Internet Is Our Editor Moonlighting as Dana Loesch’s Editor? Auto-tuned Kitties Links, Because We Care, But Not Enough For a Full Post We Are Totally St. Louis’ Best Blog Right? Let This Crazy Lady Tell You How to Massage Your Cat Punching Kitty at Nucular Comedy Night The 10 Cutest Cat Moments A Tribute to John Hughes Punching Kitty Tags the Ameristar Parking Lot Text Your Tips! Twitter Love is Awesome Punching Kitty Stickers, Because Why Not? We Have An Official Tip Line! 314-266-TIPS We Fell Asleep On Our Desk We Have Such a Raging Link Right Now! Beatle Bob is Our Fan, You Should be Too Be Our Fan on Facebook! Send Us Your All Star Photos! Links Around St. Louis and Beyond – All Star Edition We Missed You Too 3 Kittens 1 Box Yeah, We’re Back Taking a little break Go Vote For the Punching Kitty T-Shirt Suck: Things Are Changing, But Hopefully Not Much A Quick Note Zt. Louis II: The Adventure of Links Lets Trade Some Links! For Those Reading on a Crappy Work Computer Its Not All About Us St. Louis: Today’s Links If You Click on Links it Will Keep Your Fingers From Getting Cold Super Fun Patrol Get Glasses and Channels Chris Rock Your Monday Morning Links More Ways For You To Add Awesomeness to PunchingKitty.com! Pfft Canada: Their Headlines are Just as Bad as the UK’s 5 Links From Around The Lou Photo: Actually Punching a Kitty Hell Yeah Bitch! .com Launches PunchingKitty.com!
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Good Luck St. Louis, This Guy With Bad Teeth Says You’re Screwed The Best Mardi Gras YouTube Finds for 2013 Video: Here is St. Louis This Is Why We Like Cats, They’re Assholes St. Louis Doesn’t Say Any of This Sh*t Kitten Wrestling Four Bears Just Singing About St. Louis Cicadas Ruin Everything, Even the Past We’re Kinda in the Corle 2 Da Video Two Guys Take the Pointersaurus Challenge, Capture Their Failure on Video Awesome St. Louis Drummer is Awesome Even More Mardi Gras Videos The Best of Mardi Gras Videos YouTube’s Currently Popular Laughing Baby is From St. Louis John G is a Really Good Dancer Kitties: You Think Having Hiccups are Bad? Try Gassy Hiccups. Great Moments in Native St. Louisan History: Akon Throws a Dude Off-Stage The Daily Show Visits Missouri to Take on the Puppy Mill Proposition Steve Jackson Talks About Rams Receivers, Lockouts and Hair on the T. Ocho Show Random Kitty Stuff: Fainting Kittens NBC Nightly News Takes Political Poll at Woofies?! You Missed Clean the Lou 2010! Here’s the Recap Video So, About That Whole KSDK Interview… KSDK Exposes Minor’s Name in the Parkway Central Facebook Drama John Hamm is Between Two Ferns Video of Girls Screaming in Zac Efron’s Face in St. Louis (also something about Poopstock) Me, Myself, Some Guy and Wang: Exploring Chat Roulette’s Missouri Section St. Louis Rapper Slapped Mid-Freestyle Fox2′s “Web Center” is Apparently a Closet With a Computer in it St. Louis Pride Parade! Found: Time Lapse Video of Driving In To St. Louis Cinco de Mayo on Cherokee Street Look Out Behind You! We Have Con-tamination 2010 Photos South Park Weighs in On the Ram’s Signing of Quarterback A.J. Feeley Oh Dana, Couldn’t You Dress Up a Little For Your TV Appearance? Found Video: Dick Ford and John Auble Interview KISS Loud Guy is “Scared as Hell” to be Living in St. Louis John Gadson isn’t Very Good at Reporting Stuff The Best Video of a Tranny Eating Chicken Wings You’ll See Today Found Video: A St. Louis Time Lapse Pujols is Proud of McGwire For Coming Out?! Kurt Greenbaum Thinks He Did Nothing Wrong (with video) St. Louis Has a Yo-Yo Expert Watch Out, It’s Crazy Out There! Punching Kitty Hits the Tomato Festival Cardinals + Creed + Awesome Effect = Videogasm Classic Steven Jackson: His 2002 College Crib 3 Kittens 1 Box Tina Chen’s “Missouri” the Remix Found Concert Video: NIN in St. Louis