Mayor Slay Proves He’s Horrible at Sports Betting

We kinda accidentally, sorta took a day off last night when we didn’t write anything. That’s OK though, because our friends at Joe Sports Fan picked us up and took care of the important stuff: Making fun of Mayor Slay. Apparently Mayor Slay, in addition to the rest of the things he’s horrible at like “being a mayor”, is also horrible at making and going through with small pointless bets. Joe Sports Fan has the whole rundown, but in short: He won’t go to any trouble other than taking a picture of his TV when he loses, and won’t spring for better shipping when he actually wins the bet. [Read More]

The Morning After the Cardinals Crushed the Nationals in Game 5

Since there’s no way we were sleeping last night, we scoured the web for stuff to read about the latest Cardinals dramatic comeback. Nothing was better than the Twitter stream of one Washington Nationals writer (@washingnats) who went (bottom to top) from crazy confident to “Thats messed up.” in the span of a few tweets. Here’s our mediocre attempt at Photoshoping his Twitter stream in a fun Facebook-sharable image: Here’s the column rundown on the Cardinals win (and Nationals crushing defeat): [Read More]

The Cardinals Just Accomplished the Largest Comeback in a Postseason Elimination Game Ever

Holy crap. What?! Um…how do we describe what just happend? Ok, here’s our best shot… DJDHADKFDS!!!!KDSFASDFDS!!!??SDKFASDF;ADSMCMAEJEHEIE.S,AALALDLDLD!!!!!!!!! Not bad. Here’s a better description from ESPN: Erasing an early six-run hole in Game 5 slowly but surely, the defending World Series champion Cardinals got a tying two-out, two-run single from Daniel Descalso and a go-ahead two-run single from Pete Kozma in the ninth inning and came all the way back to beat the Washington Nationals 9-7 on Friday night and win their NL Division Series. [Read More]

5 Reasons Why the Nationals’ Bryce Harper is a Douche

The Cardinals have the chance to kick the upstart Nationals out of the playoff today (It’s at 3pm. You don’t have a job by chance do you? Eh. That sucks.) and that’s awesome because…um, that’s the team we root for, but also because phenom Bryce Harper could stand to get a little more of the douche kicked out of him. There are some things we like about Bryce Harper, but that’s a boring list, so here’s the top 5 reasons why Bryce Harper is a douche…and ok, here’s one thing: We dig the smeared eye black. [Read More]

Congrats Cardinals For Being “Wildcard” Champs (or whatever)

First off, well done Cardinals on making it past the Wild Card game and in to the NLDS! This new Wild Card game sure is fun! We hear it’s super popular in Atlanta right now. (Kidding. Even with the Cardinals winning, this game is stupid.) For some reason we think it’s important to leave this link here to the definition of the infield fly rule. It’s really not that hard to understand. [Read More]

Here’s Cardinal Prospect Kolten Wong With His Shirt Off Talking About His Tattoos

The Cardinals are looking for anyone that can make them suck less on a regular basis, but it’s said they are not looking for help at second base. The reason? Kolten Wong (he’s the shirtless guy above). Here’s the Cardinals prospect doing a video for someone about living in Springfield, MO (where the Cardinals AA team is located), his family back home in Hawaii, and something about his tattoos which was clearly a question designed to get him to take off his shirt. [Read More]

The World’s Stupidest Tattoo Features 2011 World Series

It was a hot Memorial Day weekend in St. Louis, so you no doubt bore witness to a large number of dudes peeling their shirt off by the lake or BBQing or other mundane situations that make guys think they should take their shirt off. While all those shirts where being pulled off they no doubt uncovered lots of horrible things like fat, hair, oddly large nipples and more often than not, horrible tattoos. [Read More]

The 10 Best Horrible Things Retweeted by @BestFansStLouis

Joke Twitter accounts are the new awesome hilarious thing, and like @HologramTupac they spring up as fast as they cease to be funny. However a few manage to serve a purpose and our current local favorite is @BestFansStLouis who spends all their time retweeting the horrible things tweeted by Cardinal fans, also know throughout the land as “baseball’s best fans”. There’s not much else to say other that prepare yourself for the worst when following @BestFansStLouis because holy sweet baby Jesus dog farts some of this stuff is crazy. [Read More]