Mayor Slay Proves He’s Horrible at Sports Betting

We kinda accidentally, sorta took a day off last night when we didn’t write anything. That’s OK though, because our friends at Joe Sports Fan picked us up and took care of the important stuff: Making fun of Mayor Slay. Apparently Mayor Slay, in addition to the rest of the things he’s horrible at like “being a mayor”, is also horrible at making and going through with small pointless bets. Joe Sports Fan has the whole rundown, but in short: He won’t go to any trouble other than taking a picture of his TV when he loses, and won’t spring for better shipping when he actually wins the bet. [Read More]

Lewis Reed is Running For Mayor of St. Louis

Mayor Slay finally has competition in the Democratic primary (aka the only vote that matters for St. Louis City) for next years mayoral race: Lewis Reed, the president of the city’s Board of Aldermen. Reed announced his candidacy today at Sqwires restaurant in Lafayette Square. Reed termed Slay’s 12 years in office “divisive” and said he would embark on a “mission of change.” Reed said his first priority would be public safety — specifically mentioning decreasing crime rates and increasing after school programs for kids. [Read More]

The New St. Louis Holiday Card Has Been Selected!

A little over a month ago, Mayor Francis Slay announced his yearly call for submissionsto design the St. Louis Holiday Card, or at least A Holliday Card…and while they have to say “holiday” for the diversity blah blah blah of the city, if you were thinking about drawing a Kwanza card you can just stop right now. We all know that’s just not gonna happen. The top 10 winners get their cards hung up in City Hall so that grumpy people waiting in some god forsaken line to pay some fee they’d only recently heard of will see them and a begin to mentally pick out the inaccuracies in them, forgetting entirely that a child made it. [Read More]

Have You Heard the One Where the Occupiers Met With the Mayor’s Staff?

So Mayor Slay’s staff walk in to a room in the Edward Jones Dome with a few people from the Occupy St. Louis movement currently inhabiting downtown… Stop us if you’ve heard this one. The initial debate was between the Mayor’s Chief of Staff Jeff Rainford, and a guy that only went by “Chuck”…naturally. “We ask that you condemn the police violence in Oakland and retract any threats or insinuations of violence against us and the accusation that we are inciting violence,” Chuck said. [Read More]

Mayor Slay Found an Almost Dead Guy in South City

No, no no. This isn’t some symbolic deal where we say Mayor Slay found the beaten body of a nearly dead spirit of St. Louis on the sidewalk that told him he should probably do a little more about the crime. Mayor Slay actually found the beaten body of a nearly dead guy on the sidewalks of South City. Mayor Slay said he was traveling along South Grand Boulevard near the intersection of Utah Street in south St. [Read More]

We Gave Mayor Slay His Own Meme!

If you’re on the internet, you know about the recent surge of photo memes. For example, there’s Philosoraptor, Hipster Kitty, Scumbag Steve, Socially Awkward Penguin, Business Cat, and Technologically Impaired Duckjust to name some of the better ones. …but now…we present to you…the beginning of the “Mayor Slay” meme! He’s a nice-guy mayor awkwardly leading a city further in to crappiness, so these pretty much write themselves…except for the ones we did, those took amazing comedic skill. [Read More]

The City Earning Tax Stays For Another Five Years

The few of you that voted decided that the St. Louis City earning tax should be kept around yesterday night, in what ended up being a decisive landslide approving Proposition E. Meanwhile, in his skull-shaped island lair, Mayor Slay tapped his fingers together in pleasure because he would continue to reap the roughly $150 million dollar revenue stream the income tax generates (or, probably more precisely, he wiped the sweat off his brow, high-fived his buddies, then went home to rub one out and get a good night’s sleep for the first time in a few months, but the super villan in his lair sounded more awesome). [Read More]

Mayor Slay is Still Begging the Missouri Senate For Control of Police Department

Yesterday a Missouri Senate committee heard testimony from both sides of the issue of whether or not St. Louis city should control the local Police Department, including the man himself, Mayor Frank Slay. Obviously the Mayor is a strong proponent for giving control of the city police force to the city as opposed to the status quo of the State running it from Jefferson City. “Again, if something goes wrong in city government, if people have an issue with what I’m doing, they can go to the polls and they can vote one way or another…they can’t do that with respect to the police department,” Slay said. [Read More]

2010 Census: So It Seems People Do Hate Being Robbed, Mugged and Shot

Update: Yes, as pointed out in the comments and online, there are other reasons for the population drop: Schools being a big one, and the economy being another. However, crime seems the most universal and the worse, and more specific to St. Louis, so we focused on that. Original post follows… The 2010 Census numbers are in! Totally out! All kinds of numbers in them…big numbers…yup…lots. of. numbers. Ok, screw it. [Read More]