This Week in Duh: St. Charles County is Healthy, and St. Louis City is Not

Once again some organization told everyone stuff we already knew: St. Charles County is super healthy and St. Louis City is horribly unhealthy. Could it have something to do with the amount of violent crime and percentage of people with quality health care? Nah! It’s about parks and having a place to ride 10 speed bikes with black shorts and yellow skin tight tops that show your man boobs. For the third year in a row, St. [Read More]

Are County Leaders Shipping Their Homeless to the City? (Probably.)

City leaders are complaining that the various area counties are actively shipping their homeless in to the city to live in group camps like the infamous “Hopeville” encampment. Of course by “shipping” we mean driving them in a car in to the city and then telling them to get out, but it’s way more funny if you think of it like the county is setting homeless guy traps filled with homeless guy treats like beard combs and flanel jackets only to shake them out of their cages, releasing them in the wilds of south city and downtown. [Read More]

If You Pay For the Zoo, Then Take Some Cheap Parking

A proposal has been laid out that would give discounts on things like parking or admission at the city’s major tax-funded attractions to city residents. For instance, the Zoo would offer discounted parking to all city residents…except for those that live close enough to walk, who get nothing we guess. Maybe we can give them a balloon with a zebra on it or something? Gloria Wessels recently suggested that four of the five institutions funded by the zoo-museum district offer discounts on parking, concessions and special exhibits to visitors who live in the taxing district. [Read More]
city  museum  taxes  zoo 

The City Earning Tax Stays For Another Five Years

The few of you that voted decided that the St. Louis City earning tax should be kept around yesterday night, in what ended up being a decisive landslide approving Proposition E. Meanwhile, in his skull-shaped island lair, Mayor Slay tapped his fingers together in pleasure because he would continue to reap the roughly $150 million dollar revenue stream the income tax generates (or, probably more precisely, he wiped the sweat off his brow, high-fived his buddies, then went home to rub one out and get a good night’s sleep for the first time in a few months, but the super villan in his lair sounded more awesome). [Read More]

St. Louis Starts Prepping It’s 250th Birthday Celebration

St. Louis’ 250th birthday isn’t until 2014, but that’s just around the corner when you are planning a big ass quarter-millenia bash! Missouri History Museum president Robert Archibald is leading the planning group preparing for the 2014 commemoration. Archibald says the goal is to organize a commemoration that includes the entire region. Alright! Lets all get together and celebrate the fact that our home will be 250 years old. We may not see 300, but that’s ok, we’re old and old people/cities can do all kinds of crazy stuff like being #1 in violent crime, #2 in Chlamydia, #12 in Gonorrhea and #1 in hairy backed people deciding to wear mesh shirts in public places. [Read More]

Top 10 Tips For Those Moving to the City

What?! It happens!  Sometimes people move to the city.  Maybe they are athletes or maybe they just want to fill their Foursquare feed with more hipster places…either way, it happens.

Here are some tips from Punching Kitty skewed towards people from the area that are moving to the city. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

10. If you called it Missou-rah, that’s fine. Stop now though.

9. We’d like to say “Get rid of your truck.” but we can’t. Lots of people have them, though we aren’t sure why.

8. If you’re from out west, this is a black guy:

They’re cool, so you be too.

7. Hey, nice trendy neighborhood! …Guess what though, 6 months ago an old lady was shot so someone could steal her food stamps 2 blocks away from your fancy place. No matter how many tapas restaurants you have in walking distance, it all St. Louis. You want to be an uppity little bitch about your neighborhood? Move to Ladue. Otherwise, don’t compare neighborhoods you don’t know about. City veterans hate that.

6. Cardinal games are great when the “trip” home is all of 10 minutes max.

5. You want to eat a restaurant? Tons of options. You want to go to a grocery store? Your options are too ghetto or too fancy. The county still has us beat on this one.

4. This is an example of two dudes kissing. It doesn’t happen all the time, but if you wander by Manchester & Sarah on a Saturday night, we don’t want you to be surprised.

Again, they’re cool, so you be too.

Click through the jump to read the top 3!

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Charles Schmitz Thinks St. Louis City Should Eat St. Louis County

A recent opinion piece posted in the Post Dispatch recently is making the rounds. The piece, written by UMSL professor Charles D. Schmitz is entitled “St. Louis is a world-class city” it’s a well-written rah-rah piece that someone from another town might brush off as self-aggrandizing, it makes some pretty cogent points. The focus of the piece is one major issue: St. Louis City should swallow St. Louis County. Schmitz ran the data as if that was the case and came up with the following: [Read More]

St. Louis to Start Charging for Trash Collection

The free ride might be over for St. Louis city residents who have been living the good life with “free” trash pick up. On Wednesday, city leaders released a proposed budget that includes a provision for homeowners to pay $8 a month for trash services. The city said the move would raise $10 million in the next budget. City leaders claim that many county residents currently pay for trash service. In some communities, trash collection costs homeowners up to $20 a month. [Read More]

City Advertises to Lower Crime Instead of Investing in Robocop

The city of St. Louis is launching an advertising campaign to help with the chronic issue of car break-ins within the city limits. The crime has blossomed in recent years, with the advent of GPS devices and MP3 players. The thrust of the new initiative is to alert motorists to not leave anything in sight inside their cars. The campaign will be managed through window posters and billboards paid for by the police department, a total of about $7,500. [Read More]