The crime has blossomed in recent years, with the advent of GPS devices and MP3 players. The thrust of the new initiative is to alert motorists to not leave anything in sight inside their cars. The campaign will be managed through window posters and billboards paid for by the police department, a total of about $7,500.
The campaign announces “free beer,” or “free food,” or “free smokes,” indicating that’s what motorists offer when they leave valuables in sight.
The St. Louis tourism board must be thrilled.
Other aborted slogans for the campaign included “I hear the Royals are getting better, go park in Kansas City” and “Please police yourselves, because we’ve run out of options.”
Things like this make our city look horrible and more importantly waste funds that could be helping in other areas. Clearly our fair city has a crime issue and we at Punching Kitty see no better option that creating our own Robocop! He could patrol the streets 24⁄7 eating baby food and cracking down on car thefts and random ass shootings. This is the perfect plan. We realize the money on the table here is only $7,500 so the initial Robocop version would be more like a gun duct taped to the top of an radio controlled car toy than the movies Robocop, but look thats just version 1.0 dude. Give the city a little more jack and soon enough we will have a robot with a human face walking around the city that can kill everyone but Mayor Slay and hopefully us for thinking of the idea.