If You Live in St. Louis, You're Already Dead

 Posted on March 13, 2024  |  The Editor

So I popped on to KSDK.com today. I just had a totally random thought to check in on how things are going in St. Louis, and I knew I didn’t want to deal with the pop-up ad, video autoplay hellscape that is STLToday’s business model violently dying like when they put the T2000 in the molten steel at the end of “Terminator 2: Judgement Day”. Where was I? Oh, yes. I loaded up KSDK. [Read More]
kdsk 

Doing it Right: Guy Too Drunk to Know He’s Been Stabbed

 Posted on March 11, 2013  |  The Editor

Being too drunk is usually a problem but sometimes, particularly in St. Louis, it’s a great thing. For example, it’s the only way to get really excited about going to City Diner. It makes you completely unaware of stabbings, and not in just the Dateline Mystery “No, I don’t remember stabbing my wife…” kind of way. Police are investigating the possible stabbing of a middle-aged man after his sister noticed several lacerations on his body Saturday night. [Read More]
drunk  south city  stabbing 

Guy Puts Drugs Up His Ass in Hopes of Future Jail Use

 Posted on March 6, 2013  |  The Editor

An 18-year-old man checked himself in to the Franklin County jail to serve his 30-day sentence, but he came with a little extra luggage…duct taped and tucked in to his ass. Here’s a hint as to what the tried to smuggle in: It wasn’t a sandwich, which is too bad because a sandwich sounds like a great thing to smuggle in. Just go with one of those stinkier cheeses and you probably won’t even notice the ass taste. [Read More]
drugs  franklin county  heroin  jail 

Do Not Stop When You Drive Through St. Louis, You Will Get Robbed

 Posted on February 28, 2013  |  The Editor

“Oh Punching Kitty! You guys are always so down on St. Louis, but this headline is the worst yet. You know full well that you can stop in St. Louis and you won’t get robbed! This is a huge important city with lots of food trucks, and yes there is crime, but it’s not nearly as bad as you make it out to be! Why don’t you do positive stories about St. [Read More]
arch  canada  theft  tourists 

MetroLink Security: Pay No Attention to the Murders

 Posted on February 19, 2013  |  The Editor

Another man was gunned down at a MetroLink station last Friday, but lets not focus on that says a MetroLink spokesman, lets focus on all the times people don’t die! Pay no attention to the woefully inadequate security guard, security is fine! Metro officials say they spend millions each year on security, with dispatchers monitoring all 37 platforms all day and night. Quoting how much you spend each year isn’t a good defense to the argument that security sucks…it just proves you wasted a lot of money during the suckage. [Read More]
metrolink  murder  security 

All Good Relationships Start With a Great Story Like This

 Posted on February 14, 2013  |  The Editor

No one would have thought a “casual” date request on Craigslist could go so wrong, but here we are. Hell must have frozen over at this point, or maybe Lindsay Lohan finally told someone “No, I don’t think it will fit in there,” because if a Craigslist arranged date has gone awry the world is clearly on it’s head. You picking up the sarcasm? Good. [A] man told St. Peters Police he placed an ad on Craigslist for a casual date that entailed dinner and a movie. [Read More]
craigslist  dating  st. peters 

Mardi Gras Was a Blast

 Posted on February 11, 2013  |  The Editor

On Friday we spread the link of our two year old pre-Mardi Gras coverage entitled: “Dos and Don’ts for you Mardi Gras Weekend” It’s a classic, which is kinda why we stopped covering Mardi Gras, but this year we slipped up. While we thought somethings were obvious, we should have added a new “Don’t”. Specifically: “Don’t: Point Your Gun at Police Officers.” “I was never scared, but I was just shocked that I had just seen that, with as many shots and as much blood as there was,” he said. [Read More]
mardi gras  shooting 

David Lee Sperry Shot a Guy and then Lit Him on Fire

 Posted on February 7, 2013  |  The Editor

David Lee Sperry was charged yesterday in the murder of Kenneth Ray Vaughn, who was found dead on January 10th after being shot in the head and set on fire. He also had no relation to singer Stevie Ray Vaughn but clearly didn’t mind the questions enough to stop using his middle name of Ray, but also didn’t go all the way by calling himself Kenny Ray Vaughn…but maybe he did because they always use your full name after your dead, like all of a sudden your own personal name preferences don’t count. [Read More]
murder  shooting 

Adults Visit High School, Beat Up Freshman

 Posted on January 31, 2013  |  The Editor

We’ll say this for McCluer North High School, when you’ve got visiting adults dropping a beat down in the hall way, they sure take their freshmen hazing to the next level. [Three] women were reportedly at the school to take a female student, a relative of theirs, out for lunch. According to security footage, the women were walking toward their relative when she got into a fight with a freshman student. [Read More]
assault  fight  McCluer North 

Guy Robs Creve Coeur Dollar Store, Gets Away With Tens of Dollars

 Posted on January 30, 2013  |  The Editor

Police are looking for a man who robbed the Creve Coeur Dollar Store because it would seem this guy wanted to go through all the trouble and danger of robbing someone, but really only needed some walkin’ around money. Maybe so see a movie, get some popcorn and put some Milk Duds in there. Police said two employees were counting cash in the back office of the Dollar Tree Store in the 12530 block of Olive when a man approached and demanded money. [Read More]
creve coeur  dollar store  robbery