Yeah. I came back for this. I pick and choose when I show up now, and I’ve skipped a lot of crazy stuff since I’ve been gone, but I can assure you the Blues winning the goddamned Stanley Cup qualifies.
This is indeed a crazy time for us all, and it feels weird because it’s a good crazy which a lot of you are very much not used to. Don’t be scared!
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Tony LaRussa’s Wife Loves Machine Head
It’s true! As reported by Deadspin yesterday, Elaine LaRussa, wife of former Cardinal skipper Tony LaRussa, is a huge metal head. This is so awesome we might cry.
Deadspin retold the tail from Robb Flynn, the lead singer of metal band Machine Head, where Elaine accosted him in a Whole Foods:
Flash back to about a year and a half ago… I’m walking through Whole Foods in Walnut Creek talking on the phone to my friend Tom when a lady and her daughter approach me wide-eyed.
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The Rams’ Danny Amendola Hates Old Rams Ushers
The Rams lost Sunday to the Vikings, but the game wasn’t without it’s moments…like when Danny Amendola spiked a football in to the face of some poor old usher standing behind the endzone.
Deadspin has one of the many gifs of this epic event:
Danny, here’s what you did wrong:
Chill bro. Great job on the touchdown, but you were way too fired up for a guy on a team that was getting stomped.
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SLU Basketball Coach Rick Majerus Died
The former — he just officially left the post a few weeks ago before the current season began to deal with his health issues — St. Louis University basketball, Rick Majerus died. He only 64, but with a body like that “only 64” turns in to “somehow made it to 64” pretty quick.
Majerus amassed a career record of 517-215, taking Ball State, Utah and Saint Louis to the NCAA tournament a total of 11 times and leading the 1998 Utes on an improbable run to the national title game.
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The Cardinals’ David Freese Crashed in SUV
David Freese can drive a baseball, but driving cars can still be a challenge. The Cardinals third basemen crashed his car Thursday while trying to avoid a deer. It’s his third accident over the last few years, but this crash didn’t involved alcohol and luckily Freese was unharmed.
Freese, 29, was heading south on Wildhorse Creek Road near Rieger Road in Wildwood when he crashed his 2011 black Range Rover into a tree to avoid a deer, said St.
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Mayor Slay Proves He’s Horrible at Sports Betting
We kinda accidentally, sorta took a day off last night when we didn’t write anything. That’s OK though, because our friends at Joe Sports Fan picked us up and took care of the important stuff: Making fun of Mayor Slay.
Apparently Mayor Slay, in addition to the rest of the things he’s horrible at like “being a mayor”, is also horrible at making and going through with small pointless bets. Joe Sports Fan has the whole rundown, but in short: He won’t go to any trouble other than taking a picture of his TV when he loses, and won’t spring for better shipping when he actually wins the bet.
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The Cardinals Choked
Not much to say about a three games as shitty as that, which is good, because we sure the hell don’t feel like writing much about it.
There’s no question the Cardinals choked this one away with their horrible…well, everything. The question is: Where does this sit in the pantheon of all time Cardinal chokes? We asked. You answered.
The consensus? This was horrible. Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to go shave this playoff beard.
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St. Louis: Where Bank Robbers Yell “Go Cards!”
Arnold police are still looking for the bank robber who exclaimed “Go Cards!” on his way out the door with the cash. Welcome to St. Louis. This is what we do: break laws and watch baseball.
Police say the man entered the First Bank at 3850 Jeffco Boulevard, approached the teller and presented a note demanding money around 1:15 p.m. Friday.
After taking an undisclosed amount of money, the man reportedly yelled, “Go Cards!
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Ozzie Smith is Selling His Gold Gloves
As reported yesterday by ESPN, the Hall of Fame former Cardinal shortstop Ozzie Smith will be selling a large chunk of his MLB hardware via the SCP Actions company. The list of items includes: All 13 of his Gold Gloves, 11 All-Star Game rings, and most notably, his Cardinal National League championship rings from 1985 and 2004, and the Cardinal World Series rings he was given by the team after the 2006 and 2011 championships.
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Washington Wizards Bradley Beal Gets Twitter Threats For Being Pro-Cardinals
The young guard for the Washingon Wizards, Bradley Beal, wasn’t even watching the Cardinals game Friday night when they were coming back on a stunned Nationals teams and their fans, but when we saw the Cardinals won he reached for Twitter. He is from St. Louis after all.
STL turnupppp !!!
…I guess that’s means something to the effect of “I’m happy the Cardinals won.” because that’s how most of Washington-area fans took it, and it did not go over particularly well.
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