Merry Christmas Poor St. Louis Kids! Said the Guy That Stole Your Presents

St. John’s Lutheran Church on Morganford has been robbed again, the fourth time in two weeks and the 12th time over the last two years. This time the thieves ran off with a safe, some cash, a bunch of presents, and food bank gifts. The cops would love to stop them, but who knows if they’re going to strike for a 5th time next week, or a 13th time over-all? I mean, who can know something like that? [Read More]

The New St. Louis Holiday Card Has Been Selected!

A little over a month ago, Mayor Francis Slay announced his yearly call for submissions to design the St. Louis Holiday Card, or at least A Holliday Card…and while they have to say “holiday” for the diversity blah blah blah of the city, if you were thinking about drawing a Kwanza card you can just stop right now. We all know that’s just not gonna happen. The top 10 winners get their cards hung up in City Hall so that grumpy people waiting in some god forsaken line to pay some fee they’d only recently heard of will see them and a begin to mentally pick out the inaccuracies in them, forgetting entirely that a child made it. [Read More]

The St. Charles Sugar Plum Fairy is a Dirty Girl and Got Fired

Update: We’ve found some interesting new information with the other character she plays while not being the Sugar Plum Fairy. Her other character is considerably more naked, which is awesome. Original post follows… We learned two new things today: St. Charles has an annual Christmas pageant, and the Sugar Plum Fairy has a dirty dirty mouth…and it’s not from that yellow snow she accidentally ate over by the reindeer barn. [Read More]

17-year-old Charged with Opening Fire on Crowded Club

Yeah yeah yeah, another day, another St. Louis violent crime, but buckle in because this one’s weird for even St. Louis. It all started, as all things do these days, on Facebook, where a mix up about an underage party location lead to “a few hundred” teenagers showing up at the front of club Pulse. Pulse, a classy place in a strip mall next to a swap meet, isn’t where an underage Christmas party was planned, but the kids show up in droves anyway. [Read More]

Merry Christmas Everyone!

We’ll be back next week after taking a couple of days off for Christmas. It’s a long time until Monday, and since you’re probably going to be lost without our guidance, here’s a few little tips to get you through the holiday: 5. Die Hard is the best Christmas movie of all time. Shut up about It’s a Wonderful Life or Elf. 4. It’s on the record now, even the Mayor’s office isn’t safe: [Read More]

St. Louis’ Grinch Enjoys the Crack Cocaine

As we all know it’s a rough time out there for everyone, but the economy is hitting the crack heads the hardest. Find out what one Belleville woman sold to get herself a little taste right after the weather! It’s cold, rainy and totally sucks. Cool, one Belleville woman is behind bars tonight after selling her children’s Christmas gifts to purchase crack. Sheriff’s Capt. Steven Johnson said Bauers, the mother of two young sons, stole about $1,000 worth of toys and gifts that the children’s grandmother bought last week. [Read More]

Dr. Seuss is Mayor Slay’s New Speech Writer

We missed this before Christmas, but Mayor Slay sent us all a special Christmas message…through the words of Dr. Seuss:

Don’t think we don’t appreciate the sentiment Mr. Mayor.  We do!  …but what the hell did you record this with?  A 7 year old cell-phone?

Mister Squiggles as 99 Problems, but Sales Ain’t One

Every time a St. Louis has a hit on its hands, it gets knocked down on the national scene, like Imo’s or Ike Turner. Take for instance Mister Squiggles. Every Christmas season needs an “it” toy and every year, some bastards try to take it down. Why you gotta hate? The maker of Zhu Zhu Pets, one of the hottest-selling toys of the holiday season, defended its product after a consumer Web site said one of the robotic hamsters carries high amounts of a dangerous chemical. [Read More]

When is Too Early For Christmas Music?

We’ve been through this all before… Last year it was MOVIN 101.1 that finally had the life-support plug pulled on it and switched to Christmas music in October, and now its 100.3 KATZ thats flipping the switch to Christmas music a little earlier than we all would prefer. So two years in a row, the majority of St. Louisan’s are left scratching our heads as to why on earth you would want to play Chrismas music this early. [Read More]