East St. Louis: Where You Can Get Robbed While at Church

The thugs of East St. Louis have broken the last barrier: They’re robbing you in church now! East St. Louis Police Chief Michael Floore said a call reporting the incident came into the Police Department at 5:12 p.m. about the armed robbery of people at IRA Grove Baptist Church, located at 1701 Belmont. “Church service was going on when three masked gunmen went into the church and robbed the people who were there at gunpoint,” Floore said. [Read More]

Merry Christmas Poor St. Louis Kids! Said the Guy That Stole Your Presents

St. John’s Lutheran Church on Morganford has been robbed again, the fourth time in two weeks and the 12th time over the last two years. This time the thieves ran off with a safe, some cash, a bunch of presents, and food bank gifts. The cops would love to stop them, but who knows if they’re going to strike for a 5th time next week, or a 13th time over-all? I mean, who can know something like that? [Read More]

As of Today, It’s Illegal to Yell in Missouri Churches

If you were thinking about going around to a bunch of churches today, opening those big front doors and shouting obscenities at the old people within, don’t bother. It’s illegal now. One [Missouri’s Republican-controlled Legislature] measure makes it a misdemeanor to interrupt a “house of worship” with profane language, rude or indecent behavior or noise that breaks the solemnity of the service. Penalties could include up to six months in jail and a $500 fine. [Read More]

Wentzville Church Trivia Night Ends With Accidental Shooting

A man was shot in Wentzville’s St. Patrick’s church over the weekend and the police are ruling it as an accident, which is just so St. Charles County. Sure people get shot out there too, just like in the city, but out there it’s always “My bad! Junior’s still a learnin’ about the safety! He’ll master it by age 5 like his daddy!” rather than a 45 year old prostitute gunning down some crackhead trying to steal her stash. [Read More]

Oh Sure, Blame the Fake Pot Now

The guy that ran in to the St. Peters church screaming and knocking over people the other day, has blamed all of his actions on fake pot. Yup, fake pot. Had to have been the fake pot. Oh and let us guess, he ran in to the church to get help right? Police said [Dustin W. Ostmann] told them he had smoked a sythetic marijuana called “Knock Out.” They said frightening hallucinations led him randomly to the church to seek help. [Read More]

Take That First Baptist Church of St. Peters!

You really can’t fault a man for executing a perfect plan. Drive up to a church, nearly hitting the building, hop out and run screaming in to the building knocking old people out of the way until the police arrive. Apart from forgetting to lick Jesus’ nipples on the crucifix statue, this plan went off without a hitch! Officer Melissa Doss, a spokeswoman for St. Peters police, said the man arrested also pushed another person while inside the church, laid hands on a third person and verbally assaulted another. [Read More]

Youth Leader Likes Kids…I Mean Really Likes Kids

You know what’s great about church youth groups? Um…wait I can think of something…there’s um…crap, there has to be something…oh I know! There’s very little chance of being recorded when you wake up on a group camp-out in your tent and decide to rub a quick one out and have it ended up online. A Collinsville, IL church youth group leader is facing charges for possessing and…yup…creating child pornography. Joseph Emil Klug was the leader of the Royal Rangers, a youth group that is for boys of grade school and high school age. [Read More]

We Have Such a Raging Link Right Now!

St. Louis Beacon discusses whether or not a jungle of of a South City backyard is Eden or an Eyesore. The video of the backyard is pretty awesome…we vote “Eden”! Should the Cardinals move Pujols to third so we can put the hobbled Troy Glaus at first for the rest of the season? Erik at Fan Graphs explores the idea. Super Fun Patrol reviews Twilight Wow. What a big, giant ball of suck the Twilight series is. [Read More]