Mayor Slay is Still Begging the Missouri Senate For Control of Police Department

Yesterday a Missouri Senate committee heard testimony from both sides of the issue of whether or not St. Louis city should control the local Police Department, including the man himself, Mayor Frank Slay. Obviously the Mayor is a strong proponent for giving control of the city police force to the city as opposed to the status quo of the State running it from Jefferson City.

“Again, if something goes wrong in city government, if people have an issue with what I’m doing, they can go to the polls and they can vote one way or another…they can’t do that with respect to the police department,” Slay said.

Good point, but the committee, though appearing to side with Mayor Slay on the matter, didn’t offer much hope.

“I think your problem’s gonna be getting the bill off the floor, if it gets to the floor, because of the filibuster rule…,” [committee chairman Kevin Engler]  said, “there’s quite a few people that sympathize with your opponents…but as a former mayor, and I know my vice chair’s a former mayor, we’re very similar, we sympathize.”

This whole thing is so f*cking stupid it gives us a burning sensation when we pee…that might be something else but Cinnamon is really dragging her feet on getting back to us with those test results so we can’t be certain. This thing with the city and the police still really f*cking stupid though.

It’s freaking ridiculous that we actually have to say this but: The city should of course have control of it’s own damn police department! Period. It would be like if you bought your car, pay to keep it up and put gas in it, but when you get in it and try to go to work it might say “You’re not really the boss here…lets go to Wendy’s” and you’d be all like “Dude. I pay a lot of money for you and I need to go to work.” but the car would totally be like “Nope. Wendy’s.” and start driving there. The thing is, Wendy’s isn’t even open. It’s 9am. Stupid car. What are you going to do just sit there waiting for Wendy’s to open? Oh the burgers are square! Yup, very impressive, you froze meat in a non-traditional shape. Good for you.

It’s not like you don’t like the car, its just that since you’re sinking all your money in to it, you should really be in charge. Sure the car would rather it have the option to tell you to go screw even though we pay for it, who wouldn’t? …but that’s not the way it should work. The only argument the “other side” has is that “it’s the way it’s always been done” and that’s maybe the worst reason to do anything, ever…except for maybe “because my penis will fit in there,” but that’s for another post. Only white guys voting, slavery, respecting your elders, cuffed jeans, saying “golly”, and that show Step By Step with Patrick Duffy…all these horrible things would still be around if we decided to keep doing something dumb just because it’s been that way for a while. The freaking law was enacted so that the South didn’t get control of the St. Louis police department during the Civil War and St. Louis had enough people the President Lincoln…freaking Lincoln!…decided that’s the city to focus on because of all the voters, and now, 150 years later, we have someone filibustering this thing in the state senate so that the law stays in place! A freaking filibuster! Oh, now you’re going to say that this douche is protecting policemen’s pensions because the city might shrink them? Please. No one is saying that the job changes at all, its just putting something back the way that makes sense and how every other city operates. If the transfer is approved and the city slashes pensions or puts in one of those pee troughs were you have to get all close to the guy next to you and it always splashes back on your pants, then quit and go work somewhere else. That’s not a raw deal, that’s just the sweet ride of the last 150 years coming to an end. Hell of a run. Now shut the hell up and worry about the few people left in the city that keep getting shot, mugged, stabbed and robbed.

That’s right! We agree with the mayor on this one. This is normally where we’d remind you that this means hell has frozen over, but you went to work today, you felt how cold it was outside on March freaking 28th. You know already.

Plans are in place to disagree with the Mayor again soon so that should defrost the area pretty quick. Sorry.

via STL Public Radio and STLToday