The Cardinals Just Accomplished the Largest Comeback in a Postseason Elimination Game Ever

Holy crap. What?! Um…how do we describe what just happend? Ok, here’s our best shot… DJDHADKFDS!!!!KDSFASDFDS!!!??SDKFASDF;ADSMCMAEJEHEIE.S,AALALDLDLD!!!!!!!!! Not bad. Here’s a better description from ESPN: Erasing an early six-run hole in Game 5 slowly but surely, the defending World Series champion Cardinals got a tying two-out, two-run single from Daniel Descalso and a go-ahead two-run single from Pete Kozma in the ninth inning and came all the way back to beat the Washington Nationals 9-7 on Friday night and win their NL Division Series. [Read More]

5 Reasons Why the Nationals’ Bryce Harper is a Douche

The Cardinals have the chance to kick the upstart Nationals out of the playoff today (It’s at 3pm. You don’t have a job by chance do you? Eh. That sucks.) and that’s awesome because…um, that’s the team we root for, but also because phenom Bryce Harper could stand to get a little more of the douche kicked out of him. There are some things we like about Bryce Harper, but that’s a boring list, so here’s the top 5 reasons why Bryce Harper is a douche…and ok, here’s one thing: We dig the smeared eye black. [Read More]

NLCS: Game 3

Go Cardinals! The spirit of 1982 is in you! …whatever the hell that stupid falsetto crap means. Nothing like a gayer version of Richard Simmons to sing and sweat you in to playoff success. Trying something new tonight: The Facebook live stream. We have no idea if this is better, but WordPress sucks donkey balls for updating the site like we have in the past few live-blogging of games so we’re trying this out. [Read More]

Cardinals: NLDS Game 5

Big game tonight! Here’s a live stream of tweets from some notably funny or knowledgable Cardinal-watching people:

@MattSebekJoe Sports Fan writer and maker of Cardinal memes.

@athooksCards writer

@tortycraig – Allen Craig’s turtle.

@matthewhleach – Cardinals beat writer for

@dgoold – Post Dispatch sports writer. Not the bitchy one that just complains and says “I told you so!” all the time…the other one.

@mikeflynn_ – Punching editor and Cardinal fan that tries really really hard to keep the sports content to a minimum on the site.

@miklasz – Post Dispatch sports columnist. All around nice guy.

Click through the jump to see the full post with Twitter stream and extra in-game updates!

[Read More]

Holy Balls! The Cardinals are in the Playoffs!

Some how, some way, the Cardinals managed to come back from a 8.5 game lead on September 1st to make it to the playoffs while also letting us enjoy watching the Braves choke away the second largest lead ever in this history of baseball! (Also we hear the Red Sox and Rays had a similar situation. Turn on ESPN to hear all about that.) So what does the little dirty joke blog do with a news story like this? [Read More]

Quick, Everyone Get Back on the Cardinals Bandwagon

Two weeks ago the Cardinals bandwagon was a pretty empty place. Tony LaRussa was on there, and the whole Fox Sports Midwest staff are contractually obligated to stay on there and make cheery promos to be run immediately after any blow-out loss by the Cardinals, but other than that there wasn’t much going on. Pujols even asked if he could use the extra bandwagon space in the off-season because he might have some moving that needs to be done. [Read More]

Cardinals 2010: It Was Over, but Now It’s Really Over

That’s it folks. The Reds have won the Central Division and the Cardinals are going home to go hunt or fish or make their jeans in to jorts…whatever all those hoosier Cardinals do. Right fielder Jay Bruce hit a walk-off home run against the Houston Astros to win the game and snatch the Central Division crown off the Cardinals crestfallen head. Bruce homered on the first pitch from Tim Byrdak leading off the ninth inning Tuesday for a 3-2 victory over the Houston Astros that secured the NL Central title and touched off the long-awaited party in a city where champagne sprays were commonplace in the ’70s and ’90s. [Read More]

F*ck You Dodger Fans

Our St. Louis tipsters have been sending us the link to this video over and over again this weekend, and it really is totally f*cked up. When you first start to watch it you may say, “Hey no mister! Don’t blast all Dodger fans for one asshole!” To that I say, keep watching…eventually the whole section shows its true colors: Dodger Dickhead Blue. Warning: Mumbled NSFW language. Hot Chick Owned in Bleacher Fight – Watch more Funny Videos [Read More]

Cardinal Playoff Beards: NLDS

Watching the Cards game now and its looking like this just might be my last chance to post a few of the beard submissions.


Photo on 2009-10-07 at 19.18

Photo on 2009-10-10 at 18.18


I’ll be honest with you.  I was hoping for more submissions that this…ok, I’m just going to say it.  Its your fault we lost non-submitters.

I hope you can live with that.