Not News: Stupid Cincinnati Radio Show Has Stupid Contest About LaRussa

We’re loving all the Cardinals vs Reds stuff over the past year. It has real potential to get good rather than that stupid “We just respect each other too much.” rivalry with the Astros a few years back. The problem is that Tony LaRussa and Walt Jocketty are still buddies and that friendship is really holding this whole thing back. Take this recent business with the Cincinnati radio station doing a contest bit making fun of LaRussa’s on-going spat with shingles. [Read More]

Cardinals 2010: It Was Over, but Now It’s Really Over

That’s it folks. The Reds have won the Central Division and the Cardinals are going home to go hunt or fish or make their jeans in to jorts…whatever all those hoosier Cardinals do. Right fielder Jay Bruce hit a walk-off home run against the Houston Astros to win the game and snatch the Central Division crown off the Cardinals crestfallen head. Bruce homered on the first pitch from Tim Byrdak leading off the ninth inning Tuesday for a 3-2 victory over the Houston Astros that secured the NL Central title and touched off the long-awaited party in a city where champagne sprays were commonplace in the ’70s and ’90s. [Read More]

Cardinals Catcher Jason LaRue Retires Because of Johnny Cueto

Remember a few weeks ago when the Cardinals were all charged up and going against the upstart Cincinnati Reds and then they all got in that big fight because Brandon Phillips was all like “the Cardinals are bitches” and then in the game Phillips was like “Hey Yadi whats up?” and Yadi was all like “Don’t tap me bro!”, then the fight broke outand Reds’ pitcher Johnny Cueto started kicking Carptener in the back and Jason LaRue in the head a bunch of times and we were pissed because we missed the whole thing live because we were making a turkey sandwich? [Read More]

Who’s a Little Bitch Now Asshole?: 7 Notes for the Brandon Phillips Hangover

Here’s a few quick notes in the aftermath of Brandon Phillips’ testicles finally dropping. Turns out they were behind his vagina.

1. If Phillips’ balls finally made an appearance, they went right back up inside after Yadier Molina got in his face.

2. Brandon Phillips drives the douchiest car imaginable. Naturally.

Not more than a few days ago, Yahoo! Sports dropped this little nugget about how the now famous Brandon Phillips: He drives a big purple expensive douche-mobile!

3. There is reason to cheer for Phillips.

[Read More]

Brandon Phillips Calls Cardinals Little Bitches

Cincinnati Reds’ Second Baseman Brandon Phillips got a little nicked up playing the Cubs recently, but when asked if he would ok for the big Cardinals series Phillips had this to say (according to daytondailynews.com): “I’d play against these guys with one leg. We have to beat these guys. I hate the Cardinals. All they do is bitch and moan about everything, all of them, they’re little bitches, all of ‘em. [Read More]

The Reds Are the New Cardinals: Jim Edmonds Acquired by Reds

According to the Cincinnati Reds’ Twitter feed, they have just acquired former Cardinal Jim Edmonds. This move continues ex-Cardinal GM Walt Jockety’s quest to rebuild his old Cardinal team in Cincinnati that currently includes Scott Rolen, Jason Isringhausen, Russ Springer and Miguel Cairo. We hear a waiver deal possibly involving Fred Bird is next, but until then expect an Edmonds appearance later on in the upcoming series vs the Reds. [Read More]

The Cincinnati Red’s Transformation to the 2004 Cardinals is Nearly Complete

The Cincinnati Reds currently count quite a few former Cardinals on their staff, starting from the top with Walt Jockety, and following up with Scott Rolen, Russ Springer, Mike Lincoln, and now, possibly, Jason Isringhausen? You think watching Ryan Franklin every night gives you a ulcer? Izzy’s back ya’ll! Appearing on KFNS 590 The Fan with Doug Vaughn this morning, free agent reliever Jason Isringhausen said he has a tentative plan to audition for the Reds tomorrow. [Read More]

The Reds’ First Baseman Joey Votto Hates the Cubs

If we lose Pujols after next season LeBron-style, we should totally go get the Reds’ Joey Votto to hold down first base. Not only can the guy hit (actually having a better season thus far than the Mang himself.) but he totally hates the Cubs. No not like “Oh you rascal! I hate you.” and then see them chatting it up on the field during BP, but like telling ESPN he hates them. [Read More]

Well So Much for All That Rolen Drama

According to MLB.com, Rolen is unlikely to see action during the upcoming Reds series versus the Cardinals this week. Reds third baseman Scott Rolen will likely miss at least three more games due to the presence of post-concussion symptoms. Following the team’s 5-2 win Sunday against the San Francisco Giants, head athletic trainer Mark Mann told reporters Rolen wouldn’t engage in any strenuous physical activity until his symptoms (including an inability to focus) subside. [Read More]