Spilled Chicken Parts Cause Traffic on Interstate 70

Traffic slowed for east-bound rush hour drivers Monday evening after a truck driver spilled his load all over the place, causing an environmental firm to come up and clean up the mess. If this sounds familiar, it’s probably because a different truck driver did the same thing to your mother last night. The cargo was described as vaguely as “chicken parts”. Chicken parts that we’re assuming were scraped in to a pile on the road, with each one individually blown on while being held with two fingers…and then thrown back in to the truck. [Read More]

Now’s Your Chance to Buy That Homemade Submarine You’ve Always Wanted

You know how you’re always saying how “corporate” submarines are these days and you think stuff like safety checks and stringent testing just takes to soul out of the metal tube you’re counting on to survive while you’re under water? Well we found that “indie” submarine you’ve always wanted dude! It’s only $800, but you do have to drive to Jefferson County to get it. This sub works very well. [Read More]

The Internet Says St. Louis Has a PR Problem

There are all kinds of wonderful uses for the internet! To just name a few off the top of our head, there’s porn, midget porn, banner ads that have playable games, amputee porn, Wikipedia, the Mayor’s Twitter stream, and of course, Disney character porn (we both know you want to, but please don’t search for that until you’re home from work tonight). Over the weekend we found one more thing for that list: Asking random people questions. [Read More]

The Cardinals Couldn’t Even Get a Hit With a 100 Pound Metal Plate

A 100-pound steel plate fell off Busch Stadium Monday afternoon. It fell the height of the park, safely crashing to the ground below, proving that nothing with a Cardinal logo can seem to hit anything these days. Crews roped off an area outside of Busch Stadium after a section of metal soffit fell to the sidewalk below after ground crews discovered the problem Monday afternoon. Had the Cardinals been at home and the stadium filled with people, this metal plate would have just turned at least two hoosiers, an old lady, and one minority about to be the first in their family to go to college in to little more than sticky paste on the Busch Stadium sidewalk. [Read More]

Man Fights Ballwin For His Right to Flip Off Bad Drivers

An interesting court case is happening in Ballwin, where a man is fighting for free speech…of the speechless kind. A Florissant man is fighting a ticket he got for giving the middle finger to another driver in Ballwin. The man is fighting the ticket based on a similar case in Pittsburgh. That ticket was thrown out as a violation of free speech. Holy hell! You can get tickets for that? [Read More]

Squirrel Takes Out Power to Two Thousand Granite City Residents

A squirrel who hopped in to the Ameren Illinois “distribution line” caused nearly 2,000 customers to lose power Sunday morning. Ameren Illinois spokesperson Natalie Hemmer says a squirrel got into a distribution line Sunday morning, knocking out service to 1,904 customers. Granite City was the area mostly affected. Early thoughts were that the squirrel was suicidal over the lost of Macho Man Randy Savage, while others believed that the rodent was a fervent rapture believer and couldn’t stand the shame of seeing his fellow squirrels on Monday. [Read More]

Tony and Albert Looked a Little Freaked Out at Saturday’s Game

What the hell had Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa so spooked in these Getty Image photos from Saturday’s game versus the Kansas City Royals? A: It was just at that moment that someone realized that the freaking Rod Barajas is currently out-hitting Pujols. B: They were both just told that the new movie “Beaver” isn’t exactly what they thought it was, and was actually about a crazy old racist actor trying to make a comeback with a puppet, instead of what we all really want to see him do to turn his career around, _Air America 2_. [Read More]

Chicken Parts Spread Across Highway 40 From Mystery Truck

If you noticed your drive down highway 40 through Chesterfield on Tuesday had a new chicken smell overpowering the usual stink of fast food chains and the ever-present fear of a levy breaking. Though, if you drive past Chick-Fil-A, you may not have noticed. Chesterfield Police Lt. Steve Lewis says police are still looking for the truck that dropped a giant load of chicken parts in the eastbound lanes near the Timberlake Manor Parkway exit about 4:30 p. [Read More]

St. Louis Craigslist User Wants You to Help Make Cannabis…Uh…Man I’m Hungry?

…oh yeah…help make cannabis legal! Saturday May 7th! …don’t forget to get some Funyuns…maybe we can do some hooka afterwards since we’ll be in the Loop…oh dude, and then Fitz’s for fried pickles! This is a classic “Oh man, lets try to get weed to be legal” move: Post a vague meeting date on Craigslist, make no mention of what you plan to do or accomplish and make the meeting for the hippiest part of town. [Read More]

Don’t Worry Folks, the Vindicator Will Save Us

A link has been making the rounds recently of a Craigslist ad from a man calling himself the Vindicator, and he claims he is St. Louis’ masked vigilante. Nothing like putting a Craigslist ad out there in the “nonprofit jobs” section to drum up interest in your burgeoning superhero career. We believe this is the same way Batman found Robin…that was back in the day though when grown men could put an ad up that read “Powerful man in tight clothes and cape looking for young athletic boy to help beat off Gotham City’s biggest brutes! [Read More]