Somebody’s Ghetto Ass Just Won 1.6 Million Dollars

A $1.6 Million dollar lottery winning ticket was purchased at…well, we wouldn’t call it horrible, but it’s not good and a little ghetto, Schnucks over in University City off of Olive Boulevard. You know the one. It’s by the ghetto-ish Jack in the Box, across the street from the ghetto-ish Imo’s, next to the fat ladies clothing store and a $1 dollar store. Someone purchased a winning ticket at the Schnucks Market at 6920 Olive Boulevard. [Read More]

$800,000 of Lotto Winnings Left Unclaimed in South County

3, 11, 24, 26, 29 A “Show Me Cash” (see what they did there?) ticket was sold a Quicktrip on Gravois in South County that won the lucky owner precisely $829,986, but as of this writing, the prize is still unclaimed. What could a South County resident buy with over $800,000 dollars? Um…lets se…here are our top 5 guesses: An $800,000 dollar Best Buy gift card. A $5o Costco membership and then a shit-load of cheese and kleenex. [Read More]

Past Missouri Lotto Winner Tried to Sell Infant Grandson

Everyone says that money won’t change them, but few can hold that claim after actually having won a Million dollars…everyone except Patty Bigbee, who was a crazy old lady when she wasn’t rich, won a Million dollars in the Missouri Lottory two years ago, and then recently was busted for trying to sell her infant grandson. The lesson? Always be true to yourself. Patty Bigbee, 45, and her boyfriend Lawrence Works, 42, were arrested last Friday in Daytona Beach and charged with illegal sale or surrender of a child, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement said. [Read More]

This is How the Nation Thinks of Missourians

Dammit. Why can’t we ever get in the news with a nice, regular looking, non-hoosier for once?! Just once. That’s all we want. Just once to say to the rest of the nation “Hey look. I know you think we are back water hicks that live in a place where you make movies about fancy California getting sent here as some sort of punishment that ends of setting them straight, and by and large, that’s pretty close for the large majority of us, but I think it’s good for you to know that we aren’t all like this. [Read More]

Man Wins Lottery Twice, and All You Have are Anal Warts

43 year old St. Peters resident Mike Stigall has won the lottery twice at $55,000 a pop. According to lottery officials, Stigall purchased a Show Me Cash ticket at Cosmic Liquor, 421 S. Church St. in St. Peters, for the April 11 drawing. The ticket matched all five numbers to win the $55,000 jackpot. Now sure, we aren’t talking the mega-millions here, but twice?! This guy wins twice? This guy has actually won money on a scratcher ticket…twice. [Read More]