Two Year Old Found Wandering the Streets of Florissant

It’s pretty weird to see a baby walking the streets of Florissant, and even weirder when it’s not pregnant or trying to sell you weed, but that’s exactly what happened Monday (not the selling weed parts, but word was his prices weren’t that great). Katisha Reese said she found the boy barefoot and holding one show [sic] in the 6400 block of Hadden Bay Road. She picked him up and called police. [Read More]

Raccoon Attacks Infant Because of a Headband

Kids these days dress too dammed provocatively! They’re out there letting everything hang out and it just keeps getting younger and younger. Damn 4-day old’s and their Raccoon attracting headbands! A four day old girl is said to be recovering well, after being attacked by a raccoon owned by her grandparents! Pike County, Illinois Sheriff Paul Petty says the girl suffered about a dozen puncture wounds and a large cut to her head in the attack, which occured in Griggsville, about 100 miles north of St. [Read More]

YouTube’s Currently Popular Laughing Baby is From St. Louis

Another day, another “viral” laughing baby video on YouTube. The current baby is laughing because his dad ripped some paper in front of him (again) and he’s from St. Louis. [Father, Marcus McArthur] says he’s finishing up his doctorate at SLU and applying for professor jobs. When he received yet another rejection letter he ripped it in half and baby Micah started laughing uncontrollably, so he started ripping credit card statements and the sweet sounds of laughter continued. [Read More]

Past Missouri Lotto Winner Tried to Sell Infant Grandson

Everyone says that money won’t change them, but few can hold that claim after actually having won a Million dollars…everyone except Patty Bigbee, who was a crazy old lady when she wasn’t rich, won a Million dollars in the Missouri Lottory two years ago, and then recently was busted for trying to sell her infant grandson. The lesson? Always be true to yourself. Patty Bigbee, 45, and her boyfriend Lawrence Works, 42, were arrested last Friday in Daytona Beach and charged with illegal sale or surrender of a child, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement said. [Read More]

KMOV’s Virginia Kerr Had Her Baby, Told Twitter ALL About It

The great thing about Twitter is that if you ever want to know how dilated your local morning news anchor’s sniz is while she’s going through labor, you can know. We live in the future. Where’s our god-dammed hoverboard?! Starting with: “This [sic] it! I’m in labor, people!” KMOV morning anchor and resident cutie, Virginia Kerr started the process of labor and a steady stream of tweets up until a few moments before she pooped out her baby boy. [Read More]

It’s Raining Toddlers in Alton

Yesterday in Alton, IL a three-year old body walked over to an open second story window with no screen and fell out on to a concrete slab below. A three-year-old boy had to be rushed to the hospital Tuesday afternoon after falling from the second-story window of his family’s apartment. According to Captain Williams of the Alton Fire Department, the incident happened at 1:40 p.m. at an apartment complex in the 300 block of Mitchell Street [Read More]

One Year Old Tries to Take On 26 Year Old and Loses

Stupid baby. You can’t take on a grow 26 year old Jefferson County man! I’m sure you didn’t want to learn that lesson with skull fractures, but well, now you know the ageless lesson: “Don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’!” Jefferson County Prosecutor Forrest Wegge has charged Ronald Wills, 26, of Arnold with felony assault and endangering the welfare of a child after he allegedly beat his girlfriend’s 1-year-old daughter. [Read More]

No Shoes, No Service…Babies Included!

A Sunset Hills Burger King manager threw a mother and her six month old baby out of the restaurant because the baby didn’t have shoes on. From Mahalo’s page on the subject: Jennifer Frederich brought her baby daughter into the restaurant barefoot and ordered food. The manager told her, “you can order ‘to go’ but you’re going to have to leave if she doesn’t have shoes on, it’s against health code. [Read More]