PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

Collinsville Police Chief Takes Stand Against Pants Sagging Law

 Posted on August 8, 2011  |  The Editor

Everyone jumped on the story a few weeks ago about Collinsville banning sagging pants because it’s a stupid law that either won’t be enforced, or will be enforced until the cops get tired of looking like assholes writing tickets to some beltless kid. You know who agrees with this assessment? The Collinsville Police Chief. [P]olice Chief Scott Williams told Knabel and City Council members that he’s fundamentally opposed to the new law, which makes wearing pants 3 inches below the hips illegal. [Read More]
Collinsville  liz dalton  morons  sagging 

Budweiser Unveils New Can, Making Your Keychain, Shirt, and Inflatable Can No Longer Match Your Actual Beer

 Posted on August 4, 2011  |  The Editor

Budweiser redesigned their can because it’s much easier to change the paint in the canning machine rather than doing anything about the beer inside. Beer that’s not exactly great, but yet not bad enough to be considered ironic for hipsters. The new design features a cleaner look, one that is less ornate, with a heavier reliance on the color red. The name Budweiser is still written in a cursive script, but now the name is cast in white against a red backdrop instead of blue on white. [Read More]
budweiser  can  design  food 

The Cardinals Couldn’t Even Get a Hit With a 100 Pound Metal Plate

 Posted on August 3, 2011  |  The Editor

A 100-pound steel plate fell off Busch Stadium Monday afternoon. It fell the height of the park, safely crashing to the ground below, proving that nothing with a Cardinal logo can seem to hit anything these days. Crews roped off an area outside of Busch Stadium after a section of metal soffit fell to the sidewalk below after ground crews discovered the problem Monday afternoon. Had the Cardinals been at home and the stadium filled with people, this metal plate would have just turned at least two hoosiers, an old lady, and one minority about to be the first in their family to go to college in to little more than sticky paste on the Busch Stadium sidewalk. [Read More]
busch stadium  dusty baker  metal plate  safety  weird 

Won’t Someone in St. Louis Just Have Sex With This Woman?!

 Posted on August 2, 2011  |  The Editor

Poor girl, she just wants some lovin’. The only qualification is that you have to be a “good guy” but frankly after reading the rest of the her ad we’re pretty sure that he might even be flexible on that. Oh and if you’re one of the zero single guys in the world that wants a random hook up to end in pregnancy? She’s cool with that too. Yea! High five bro! [Read More]
craigslist  personals  sextastic 

Missouri Sheriffs Association Caught in Crossfire Between Justice System and Antisec Hackers

 Posted on August 1, 2011  |  The Editor

The “Antisec” movement of hackers have taken down some big-time websites recently. The Arizona Department of Public Safety, the government of Brazil, and british newspapers The Sun and The Times where they posted a fake story about fellow-hacking lover and news mogul Rupert Murdoch. Last weekend though, they took down the Missouri Sheriffs Association. Not quite as glamourous as The Sun, but still pretty damaging. Not only is the Sheriffs Association’s site (mosheriffs. [Read More]
anonymous  antisec  cops  hacking 

Sound Familiar? Kings of Leon Leave Dallas Concert Early

 Posted on August 1, 2011  |  The Editor

Poopstock making a stop in Dallas? Not quite, but Dallas was treated to another classic performance by St. Louis’ favorite shitty band, Kings of Leon! Kings of Leon cut short a concert in Dallas last night, when frontman Caleb Followill suddenly told the audience his voice was “100% wrong” and that he felt too hot as temperatures reached the 90s. In a rambling speech, he said he would go backstage to vomit and drink a beer, then return to play three more songs. [Read More]
celebrity  dallas  kings of leon  music  poopstock 

St. Louis Police Officers Go To Hospital Over Mystery Stink

 Posted on July 29, 2011  |  The Editor

Three STLPD officers were sent to the hospital after opening a mysterious container at the Mansion House Apartments while serving a warrant. They were serving a warrant at the Mansion House Apartments on 4th Street in downtown St. Louis when they opened a container and were hit with a strong odor that caused headaches, breathing problems and profuse sweating. What box horribleness be strong enough a stink to give three men headaches, breathing issues and sweating? [Read More]
box  Health  hospital  police 

St. Charles County Home to World’s Best Mom

 Posted on July 28, 2011  |  The Editor

Kelli Horton (right) is the coolest mom ever! First, she took her kids for a car ride, then to McDonald’s for lunch, and then she let them play in the play area for as long as they wanted! Dude, that must have been the best day ever! Mom, can we get ice cream too? Mom…? A St. Charles County woman was arrested at a McDonald’s on Highway 94 Tuesday after leaving her children in a play area while she took heroin in the bathroom, police say. [Read More]
heroin  mcdonalds  mom  morons  st. charles county 

The Cardinals’ 2011 Season: Mission Accomplished!

 Posted on July 28, 2011  |  The Editor

Our crack investigative team has uncovered an internal memo that Tony LaRussa sent his “underling” General Manager John Mozeliak apparently, just after the close of the 2010 season. It’s been a rough go so far, and while no one knows what the rest of the season will hold, it appears that “Mo” has pleased his Hall of Fame manager boss by completing the plan just ahead of schedule! Nicely done John! [Read More]
brendan ryan  cardinals  colby rasmus  john mozeliak  tony larussa 

Hermann Band Director Sends Sexy Emails to Students

 Posted on July 27, 2011  |  The Editor

Hermann, Missouri’s high school band director is having a rough week after being accused of sending “sexually explicit” emails to a student. Something about blowing his woodwind we’re guessing. Among the charges against 31-year-old Joshua James are furnishing pornography to a minor and “using a child in a sexual performance”. The alleged contact took place between James and a 16-year-old female student in the Gasconade County school district, and reportedly involved illicit photos. [Read More]
band  hermann  pervert  sextastic