Kings of Leon cut short a concert in Dallas last night, when frontman Caleb Followill suddenly told the audience his voice was “100% wrong” and that he felt too hot as temperatures reached the 90s. In a rambling speech, he said he would go backstage to vomit and drink a beer, then return to play three more songs. He didn’t come back to the stage.
Oh no way, we’re totally shocked. Who would have thought that this band of douche bags would play a few songs and then just bail in the middle of a concert? It’s definitely not like these assholes have done this twice now or anything. Oh, there is one little difference between St. Louis infamous Poopstock and the latest ear turd the fellas laid in Dallas: Kings of Leon don’t think the Dallas fans are idiots.
[Jared Followill, brother and fellow band member of Caleb] later wrote: “I love our fans so much. I know you guys aren’t stupid. I can’t lie. There are problems in our band bigger than not drinking enough Gatorade”
Oh so this time you have a problem with your lead singer bailing on shows in the middle of them because he’s a drunken dickhead who is little more than a poorly copied version of every crappy boy band member who thinks they are a real artist because they can play guitar and drink for inspiration like all the others they read about on Wikipedia, but is actually the latest dropping in the everlasting bowel movement that the bankrupt music industry has squatted down and pooped out on the chest of America year after year…but that last time in St. Louis? That excuse was real. No seriously you guys! There was a problem with bird poop! We’re totally serious! We Swear! Even if we didn’t have sources that we strongly believe telling us that there was definitely no “bird shit” situation on the stage that fateful night in St. Louis and the band was, in fact, spending most of their pre-show moments bitching about being here and trying to figure a way out of the show, we still wouldn’t believe these assholes.
So Kings of Leon, the band that between beer, vomit and “bird poop” must go through more tight white v-neck t-shirts than a whole summer at the Jersey Shore, thinks St. Louis is full of dummies, but Dallas, those are the fans you shouldn’t try to fool and apologize profusely too over Twitter? Well that’s pretty annoying, but there are silver linings to all of this. One, maybe a few less people will be fans of these pieces of crap and two, we’re just delighted to be able to use our “birds poop on Kings of Leon” graphic one more time.
Recap of Poopstock coverage: Kings of Leon Are a Bunch of Little Bitches; Because a Bird Shit on Kings of Leon, They Shit on Their St. Louis Fans; Translating Kings of Leon’s Poopstock Memo; Poopstock: Kings of Leon Announce PR-Fixing Concert