PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013
Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.
We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.
While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.
- The Editor
It Took 11 Days to For Someone to Notice a Dead Body at the Ameristar Parking Garage
Posted on September 19, 2011
| The Editor
When you come to St. Charles to gamble at the Ameristar, you better be focused. This is the big time. Vegas?! Whatever. You come to the Ameristar for one thing: to play…and listen to 80’s cover bands in one of their theme bars, so ok, two things. Regardless, you need to be locked the hell in the minute you park your car. Not just focused mind you, but “don’t notice that obviously dead lady in her car” locked in.
[Read More]
We Fill Out The Last 5 “Ram Rules”
Posted on September 13, 2011
| The Editor
Did you know there is such a thing as “Ram Rules”? Well there is, and if you were hoping a bunch of numb-nuts in over-the-top Rams gear can go through the first 5 with you, then you just passed Ram Rule #0: Be so stupid you need instructions on how to cheer at a sporting event.
…earlier we mentioned those are just the “first” 5, and we say that no because we want to George Lucas all over this shit and make it worse, but because a there are clearly more than just 5 Ram Rules.
[Read More]
Governor Nixon Wants to Let Uniformed People Cut In Line
Posted on September 12, 2011
| The Editor
In honor of the 10th anniversary of 9/11, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon proclaimed that you should let all people in uniform cut in front of you in line…but just like for one week. After that you and you alone will be first in line for the new issue of Jugs.
Nixon has proclaimed this week as “Put the Uniform First Week” in Missouri. He says it’s intended to show respect to people who wear uniforms as police officers, firefighters, emergency responders and military personnel.
[Read More]
Now’s Your Chance to Buy That Homemade Submarine You’ve Always Wanted
Posted on September 8, 2011
| The Editor
You know how you’re always saying how “corporate” submarines are these days and you think stuff like safety checks and stringent testing just takes to soul out of the metal tube you’re counting on to survive while you’re under water? Well we found that “indie” submarine you’ve always wanted dude! It’s only $800, but you do have to drive to Jefferson County to get it.
This sub works very well. Used many times and can hold up to 4 people.
[Read More]
The St. Louis Police Department Wants to Buy Some Fancy New Clothes
Posted on September 7, 2011
| The Editor
“Oh officer, thank god you’re here! I’ve been shot three times in the leg and the guy left about 30 minutes ago in my car but my daughter is still in the car so at least I didn’t have to deal with her while I was bleeding all over the sidew…oh now don’t you look nice!”
The St. Louis Police department is dropping some change on a new set of “formal” uniforms for each officer.
[Read More]
Crazy Guy Claims the Arch Can Control the Weather
Posted on September 6, 2011
| The Editor
I think we all can agree the St. Louis’ monument the Gateway Arch certainly has some special powers. For example it’s pretty clear that thing is some how a super magnet for attracting street crime, crappy hockey goalies and cheesy tourist calendar photographers, but maybe there’s something else going on there…
The St. Louis Arch, a 636 ft. monument on the west bank of the Mississippi River, has stood for nearly forty years.
[Read More]
KMOV Reporter Likes the Interim U City Principal…Like Likes Her…Totally
Posted on September 2, 2011
| The Editor
You know how when a local high school anoints someone the interim principal everyone wants to talk about the big news and really pour over the effectiveness of the person who’s job is to keep the seat warm for the eventual principal, which then obviously leads to people clamoring for a local news anchor no one’s heard of to go on to the station’s website and tell everyone what he thinks about the interim principal after calling a meeting with her as if he, the principal or any of this matters?
[Read More]
Guy Admits To Robbing Over 160 Cars a Month
Posted on September 1, 2011
| The Editor
While trying to hunt down a stolen car last Friday, Lincoln County cops stumbled upon a car jacking savant out in Winfield, Missouri. Joseph Walker the 3rd is only 19, but he’s managed to display his skills in a way very unbecoming of someone who is “the 3rd” of anything.
The Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office Patrol Division had been attempting to locate an older model Black GMC Sonoma. The driver of the Sonoma was observed on surveillance camera several days earlier, both at Jack in the Box and Fast Lane in Troy, making purchases with a stolen credit card from one of the vehicles.
[Read More]
KSDK Thinks It’s On Cable, Goes Pretty Much All News
Posted on August 31, 2011
| The Editor
Though calling this a “Hot Topic” seems a little strong, local NBC affiliate KSDK has announced their move to kill all the fun of day-time reruns and instead bring us nearly a full day of news and “news-like” programming for a city that pretty much only has the Cardinals, the Rams, murders, and tornados to cover. It seems pretty clear that the sheer amount of murders to cover in a given day necessitated the new-centric schedule, but we’ll let them tell you about all the great people they have.
[Read More]
Webster Counseling Student Sues After Being Dropped for Lack of Empathy
Posted on August 30, 2011
| The Editor
In our extensive experience we know that two things are required to make a good counselor: a sweater vest and empathy. Guess which one you can’t buy?
A former Webster University student who was studying to be a family counselor says in a lawsuit that he was dismissed from a master’s degree program after it was determined that he lacked empathy.
The suit, which claims up to $1 million in losses and seeks at least $2 million in punitive damages, alleges the school dismissed him quickly rather than help him improve his empathy to complete the field work required for graduating.
[Read More]