In honor of the 10th anniversary of 9⁄11, Missouri Governor Jay Nixon proclaimed that you should let all people in uniform cut in front of you in line…but just like for one week. After that you and you alone will be first in line for the new issue of Jugs.
Nixon has proclaimed this week as “Put the Uniform First Week” in Missouri. He says it’s intended to show respect to people who wear uniforms as police officers, firefighters, emergency responders and military personnel.
Here’s what will happen:
Guy: “Oh officer, go ahead of me. The Governor said it was cool.”
Policeman: “Oh, no thank you. Go right ahead.”
Guy: “Seriously, please go ahead of me.”
Policeman: “No, really. It’s ok.”
…and that goes on for five minutes easy. Here’s why this is a nice idea, but might not work in practice: Not everyone is in a hurry. Sometimes someone pops in to a gas station for a coffee and standing there in line is part of their break. Sure you may not think standing in line is fun, but when you’re, say a member of STLPD, standing in line is a freaking tropical vacation compared to dodging bullets or picking parts of the latest prison escapee’s shank out of your ass.
Once again, we don’t want to come down too hard on the Gov’s little idea here, but the worst part about it is that this was the best he could come up with. We can just see him and his aides racking their brains trying to figure out something slightly less stupid than the previous idea: “Double Cheek Kiss Uniformed People Week”, If You See Them Watching You Undress…Don’t Stop Week”, “When You Walk Past Them On A Plane or Bus and You Have to Decide to Give Them Your Butt or Your Crotch, Go With the Crotch Week”
Here’s another idea: Lets just all try to not be dicks to them, maybe say hello and smile when you see them on the street. We could probably even keep that up for longer than a week if we really tried.