The Fort Zumwalt East Junior Varsity Football Team Needs to Take a Moment and Think About What They Did

Sorry for disappearing for a couple of days, but don’t go off and be a stripper just yet, daddy’s back. Give us a hug! (Hug your monitor. Don’t leave us hanging.) High school is a weird place where the acne-addled hive-mind will occasionally decide something is cool despite that fact that no, it is not…actually it’s way past not cool, like 5 exits past not cool, and it’s getting a fountain soda at the gas station off of WTF Road. [Read More]

Flow Chart Friday: How To Stop Being a St. Louis Tool

Everyone in St. Louis either knows people that are insistent “High School question poppers” or is one themselves. It’s time we start converting people to put a stop to this. To start, feel free to print this out and tape it above every urinal local salesmen use.

[Editor’s Note: Link to full version here.]

KMOV Reporter Likes the Interim U City Principal…Like Likes Her…Totally

You know how when a local high school anoints someone the interim principal everyone wants to talk about the big news and really pour over the effectiveness of the person who’s job is to keep the seat warm for the eventual principal, which then obviously leads to people clamoring for a local news anchor no one’s heard of to go on to the station’s website and tell everyone what he thinks about the interim principal after calling a meeting with her as if he, the principal or any of this matters? [Read More]

High School Summer Camp “Pranked” With Pot Brownies

A summer band camp in O’Fallon, IL is being investigated after a complaint that marijuana-laced brownies were given out as a prank. To us, this “prank” sounds like a way to waste your pot on a bunch of band geeks, but maybe there’s one of those overly hot ones these guys really wanted to see if they could get her high and…have her blow your woodwinds if you get what we’re putting down. [Read More]

The Timberland High School School Board is Still Retarded

Way back in March of this year we told you about the Wentzville Timberland High school, and their teaching staff’s stomping on the poor little journalists of their school paper because they wouldn’t let them write about tattoos. Here’s how we summarized the situation it at the time: No one is arguing that the principal has the last call in his school, and we aren’t going to get in to that here. [Read More]

Stupid Parents Are Apparently Also Deep Sleepers

Saturday night, the parents of a “4.0 average” daughter living in East Carondelet, Illinois went to bed with their graduation party of 20 kids still going. They woke up after 2am with about 100 kids scattering as police were trying to get a handle on the situation while trying to dodge the drunken driving of one party goer. Disappointment is what James Hasty and his wife were feeling Sunday after hosting a graduation party for their high school Senior Saturday night. [Read More]

Banned T-Shirt Means Big Business For Shop

You may have recently heard that Sedalia’s School District is run by spineless morons, well stories that stupid tend to grow legs on the internet and according to The Riverfront Times, the little T-Shirt Shop that created the shirt is now overrun with orders for the banned nerd-art. Last week one of the owners of the shop told the RFT’s sister paper in Kansas City that the T-shirts have sold like hot cakes thanks to the online popularity of the ban. [Read More]