The Jersey School District Hates Colored Hair, Might Be Pro-Cancer

 Posted on August 22, 2011  |  The Editor

Those two school yard terrorists are a distracting menace and must be stopped. Thank goodness the Jersey School District acted so quickly upon seeing what these deranged sickos had done to their hair. Seriously! Who dyes their hair a non-standard color? How did they even do it?! This is the first we’re hearing of any such ability to change hair color! The superintendent says colorful hair is against the rules. [Read More]
color  hair  illinois  jerseyville  morons 

High School Summer Camp “Pranked” With Pot Brownies

 Posted on August 16, 2011  |  The Editor

A summer band camp in O’Fallon, IL is being investigated after a complaint that marijuana-laced brownies were given out as a prank. To us, this “prank” sounds like a way to waste your pot on a bunch of band geeks, but maybe there’s one of those overly hot ones these guys really wanted to see if they could get her high and…have her blow your woodwinds if you get what we’re putting down. [Read More]
brownies  high school  illinois  morons  ofallon  pot 

The Internet Says St. Louis Has a PR Problem

 Posted on August 8, 2011  |  The Editor

There are all kinds of wonderful uses for the internet! To just name a few off the top of our head, there’s porn, midget porn, banner ads that have playable games, amputee porn, Wikipedia, the Mayor’s Twitter stream, and of course, Disney character porn (we both know you want to, but please don’t search for that until you’re home from work tonight). Over the weekend we found one more thing for that list: Asking random people questions. [Read More]
omegle  public relations  sighting  weird 

Won’t Someone in St. Louis Just Have Sex With This Woman?!

 Posted on August 2, 2011  |  The Editor

Poor girl, she just wants some lovin’. The only qualification is that you have to be a “good guy” but frankly after reading the rest of the her ad we’re pretty sure that he might even be flexible on that. Oh and if you’re one of the zero single guys in the world that wants a random hook up to end in pregnancy? She’s cool with that too. Yea! High five bro! [Read More]
craigslist  personals  sextastic 

Sound Familiar? Kings of Leon Leave Dallas Concert Early

 Posted on August 1, 2011  |  The Editor

Poopstock making a stop in Dallas? Not quite, but Dallas was treated to another classic performance by St. Louis’ favorite shitty band, Kings of Leon! Kings of Leon cut short a concert in Dallas last night, when frontman Caleb Followill suddenly told the audience his voice was “100% wrong” and that he felt too hot as temperatures reached the 90s. In a rambling speech, he said he would go backstage to vomit and drink a beer, then return to play three more songs. [Read More]
celebrity  dallas  kings of leon  music  poopstock 

St. Louis Police Officers Go To Hospital Over Mystery Stink

 Posted on July 29, 2011  |  The Editor

Three STLPD officers were sent to the hospital after opening a mysterious container at the Mansion House Apartments while serving a warrant. They were serving a warrant at the Mansion House Apartments on 4th Street in downtown St. Louis when they opened a container and were hit with a strong odor that caused headaches, breathing problems and profuse sweating. What box horribleness be strong enough a stink to give three men headaches, breathing issues and sweating? [Read More]
box  Health  hospital  police 

Hermann Band Director Sends Sexy Emails to Students

 Posted on July 27, 2011  |  The Editor

Hermann, Missouri’s high school band director is having a rough week after being accused of sending “sexually explicit” emails to a student. Something about blowing his woodwind we’re guessing. Among the charges against 31-year-old Joshua James are furnishing pornography to a minor and “using a child in a sexual performance”. The alleged contact took place between James and a 16-year-old female student in the Gasconade County school district, and reportedly involved illicit photos. [Read More]
band  hermann  pervert  sextastic 

People Shocked in Granite City Pool

 Posted on July 25, 2011  |  The Editor

Six people were shocked while swimming in a Granite City swimming pool over the weekend, and while everyone is fine, the question remains: Why were they shocked? Was there a loose wire in some part of the pool? Was there some foul play afoot? …or was it something more obvious? Maybe they were shocked when uncle Jerry belly flopped his suit right off…or maybe they were shocked only after finding out that Granite City is actually in Illinois and finally realized why their house was so cheap. [Read More]
brian feldman  granite city  pool  shocked 

St. Peters Motorcyclist Beats the Heat By Riding Naked

 Posted on July 22, 2011  |  The Editor

Update: We had a super-quick Twitter interview with the man himself. Check it out below! St. Peters motorists yesterday evening were shocked after their eyes focused on the lilly white blur in the lane next to them. A naked dude on a motorcycle was seen heading east down Interstate 70, around the Cave Springs area, presumably heading MidRivers Mall or possibly Costco since jeans are really cheap there. “Nobody was upset with it. [Read More]
motorcycle  naked  sextastic  st charles  st. peters 

St. Louis’ Former Archbishop Resigns From Post For Protecting Pedophile Priests

 Posted on July 19, 2011  |  The Editor

Justin Rigali was the Archbishop of St. Louis until he got all big time a few years ago and bolted to Philly for the same job. What’s Philly have that we don’t? Cheesesteaks, sure…and some busted ass bell, a bunch of crappy fans…oh and a bunch of pedophile priests. A report appearing in Monday’s _Philadelphia Daily News _said Cardinal Justin Rigali has submitted a letter of resignation to Pope Benedict XVI, and the pope is expected to accept Rigali’s resignation as early as Tuesday. [Read More]
catholic  justin rigali  pedophile  sextastic