Top 5 Best and Worst Cardinals 2010 Promotions
Posted on April 8, 2010
| The Editor
Every year professional sporting teams hand out those “Promotional Schedules” to everyone with a free hand as if to say “Thanks for spending all this money on us. Checkout this list of cheap crap we will give you if you spend more money with us on a specific day.”
We thought it would be fun to take a peak at the St. Louis Cardinals promo schedule and break it down for our sexy sexy readers.
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O’Fallon and St. Peters Missouri Are Government Kiss-ups
Posted on April 2, 2010
| The Editor
You know those douche bags nerds that always turned in all their homework and when you didn’t have a chance to yours done because you were a little busy with feeling the naughty bits of the opposite sex, they would make sure the teacher knew that they did their work and you didn’t. You just want to put your foot so far up their ass that you leave trademarks on their adam’s apple right?
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Us: Forest Park Sucks to Drive Through, City: Here’s more signs.
Posted on March 29, 2010
| The Editor
Signs! That’s the ticket…the fix to all our troubles! More signs!
That’s pretty much the reaction of the city when finally pushed to do something about the amazing traffic jams that surround Forest Park every time its nice and above 60 degrees.
After last week’s park congestion, Forest Park, the Missouri Department of Transportation, St. Louis City Streets Department, St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department and the park institutions met to work out a plan to improve traffic flow in Forest Park.
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St. Louis Company Invents Graffiti Detection System
Posted on March 24, 2010
| The Editor
Personally, we like a little graffiti on our urban landscape. Without graffiti, how would we ever know who to fear, or what gang is most likely to shoot us in this particular area? Too bad a certain narc company is making the technology to stop all of that.
The Merlin graffiti-detection system system uses audio signature recognition software attached to the side of a building to distinguish the specific noise profile of a spray can and notify police if someone attempts to spray a graffiti message.
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Illinois Wants Four Day School Weeks, Apparently Hates Parents
Posted on March 24, 2010
| The Editor
The Illinois Senate is currently mulling over a move that would make all Illinois State public schools to go from the standard five-day school week to the severely retarded idea of a four-day school week.
The Illinois senate is considering a measure that would change the current five-day school week into a four-day week for public school students.
The proposal has already received approval in the Illinois House.
Over the past few years, similar legislation has been presented by Missouri lawmakers but all have been rejected.
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Mayor Challenges City to Mail in Census to Win Dumb Bet with Kansas City
Posted on March 23, 2010
| The Editor
Nothing like a bet no one knows or cares about with a city we are clearly better than on a field of play that probably ranks in the top 10 most boring bets of all time to get a city of people excited about something!
In an effort to get Missourians excited about the 2010 Census, Mayor Slay and Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser have agreed on a friendly competition to see which City improves its Census mail-in response by the highest percentage from 2000-2010.
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St. Charles County Workers Banned From Texting, Apparently Using Honor System
Posted on March 18, 2010
| The Editor
Counties passing laws that ban texting while driving are the Lady Gaga of lower-level governments. Everyone seems to love them because they sound good, but when you get up close and really think about it, its kinda stupid and ugly. Also, those weird outfits just seem like a whole “Hey look at me with my crazy outfits that always hide my face like the Phantom of the Opera because I’m ugly and pay no attention to those rumors about me having a little penis.
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Lake St. Louis Bans Smoking Too
Posted on March 16, 2010
| The Editor
In yet another “me too” political action, another St. Louis area is moving to ban smoking.
City leaders could ban smoking in Lake St. Louis.
The aldermen could vote on a proposed ban this evening.
If a ban passes, Lake St. Louis would be the first city in St. Charles County to be smoke free.
Well there’s something to hang your hat on. No more smoking in all the fine Lake St.
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Anheuser-Busch InBev Sues Guy Making Baby Beer Bottles
Posted on March 15, 2010
| The Editor
BabyBeerBottles.com was selling little gag beer bottles that even included a detachable nipple for the top of the “bottle” and logos that looked like Budwiser and Miller Lite. But not anymore, because Anheuser-Busch InBev [Editor’s Note: Worst. Name. Ever.] is actively suing their balls off.
“Defendants obviously intend to profit from the famous Anheuser-Busch trademarks by confusing and deceiving consumers with defendants’ blatant copying,” A-B writes in a suit filed Monday in federal court in St.
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St. Louis’ Rich People You’ve Never Heard Of
Posted on March 12, 2010
| The Editor
Forbes Magazine’s yearly billionaire list was released and we wanted to share with you St. Louis connected people on that list. Just when you start to feel superior, here we come with a list of mega-rich old people that could buy and sell your ass like the whore we all know you are.
#123 Jack Taylor, founder of Enterprise Rent-A-Car. Net worth: $6 billion
#176 Pauline MacMillan Keinath, old money. Net worth: $4.
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