President Barack Obama Ruined Your Drive Home, Got Yelled At, Had Pizza, Left

The President spun through our little metropolis yesterday and, as usual we’re sure, had quite a busy day. He started off by touching down at Lambert Airport at 5:35pm and was greeted by Governor Jay Nixon and Mayor Francis Slay, who both blew him until climax welcomed him to our fine city. “What the f*ck?! You still haven’t fixed this shit? Didn’t we give you money for this? Jesus.” we’re assuming the President said after leaving the airport on his way to… [Read More]

Onions Spilled on Interstate 55 as Missouri’s Truck Spilled Sandwich Nears Completion

This morning people were crying over the traffic as it ground to a halt because of yet another truck spilling it’s payload all over the highway and the aroma the payload left behind. A truck lost a load of onions on I-55 just north of the 7th Street/Park exit, north of where [I-44 and I-55] merge south of downtown. After clearing the onions themselves off to the shoulder, crews called in a street sweeper to clean up the juice left over after hundreds were run over by vehicles. [Read More]

The Shocker on Jefferson

Coming home from the iPad madness from earlier in the day, we noticed something “shocking” coming down Jefferson just north of 44.

Is this the only crosswalk shocker in town? Have you seen any others?

[Editor’s Note: God we love that there’s a Wikipedia page devoted to the shocker.]

Us: Forest Park Sucks to Drive Through, City: Here’s more signs.

Signs! That’s the ticket…the fix to all our troubles! More signs! That’s pretty much the reaction of the city when finally pushed to do something about the amazing traffic jams that surround Forest Park every time its nice and above 60 degrees. After last week’s park congestion, Forest Park, the Missouri Department of Transportation, St. Louis City Streets Department, St. Louis Metropolitan Police Department and the park institutions met to work out a plan to improve traffic flow in Forest Park. [Read More]

270 Sucks and Everyone Knows It

270 ranked 45th in the nation’s worst commutes according to The Daily Beast. Totaling 89 hours of congestion, and 1.26 miles long at its worst, earned 270 the spot. On a comment attached to our snippet, they have a quote via the Post Dispatch from Maryland Heights Councilwoman Mary Nichols: Replacement of the current design with the diverging diamond interchange will not only improve the flow of traffic along the 270-70 corridor, but it will also be a national example of innovation in highway safety and design. [Read More]
270  traffic 

Mayor Slay Praises Reed For Red Light Camera Changes

Starting shortly after the bill reaches Mayor Slay’s desk, traffic lights that have red-light cameras will be required to have a sign at the intersection stating the cameras are in use there. Previously the signs were just posted at the border of the county or city where the cameras were used. Says the Mayor: [permalink] Aldermanic president Lewis Reed has – very sensibly – closed a loophole in the City’s ordinance authorizing automated traffic camera systems. [Read More]