Counties passing laws that ban texting while driving are the Lady Gaga of lower-level governments. Everyone seems to love them because they sound good, but when you get up close and really think about it, its kinda stupid and ugly. Also, those weird outfits just seem like a whole “Hey look at me with my crazy outfits that always hide my face like the Phantom of the Opera because I’m ugly and pay no attention to those rumors about me having a little penis.”
Where were we? Something about texting?
St. Charles County Executive Steve Ehlmann signed an order prohibiting any county employees from texting while driving. This applies to anyone driving a county vehicle or doing county business in their personal car if they are reimbursed for mileage.
“It isn’t a matter of them texting for the fun of it,” says Ehlmann. “Even if it’s part of the job we want them to pull over, do their text and then resume their travel.”
The thing about “no texting while driving” laws is that they are about effective as the old sodomy laws, in that they aren’t. How the hell do you police something like this? Maybe the guy that just made this a rule for St. Charles County employees knows since he clearly thinks this is important:
There was talk of a countywide ban for all drivers, but the sheriff’s department convinced the county council it would be too tough to enforce.
Well there you go. Text away St. Charles County employees!
We aren’t saying we are “pro” texting while driving. It’s dumb. But so is pretty much anything else you do instead of facing forward with your hands at 10 and 2: eating, talking to someone, giving that asshat that just can’t stay in his lane the finger, blowing your nose while using your knees to hold the wheel, screaming at your kids, checking out the hot broad in the next lane one car back, desperately trying to get something out of your pocket but its stuck on the little seam at the top and your about to freak out but you really need that coupon for Chick-Fil-A because those waffle fries are the only thing good in your life these days and getting them free would allow you to keep it together just long enough to get home without driving your car in to an overpass just so you don’t have to go back to work your local tv news job and blab on the radio because you’re a giant douche and everyone knows it!
Crap we forgot what we were talking about again.