Incognito Delivers Parting Shot to St. Louis
Posted on December 21, 2009
| The Editor
Those last three dumb-ass penalties that Rams Guard Richie Incognito earned in his last game as a Ram cost him $50,000 in fines. When asked about the fines today, Incognito had this to say:
“With the fine of 50 grand, I would have gladly paid more to get out of that situation in St. Louis,” Incognito said Sunday after the New England Patriots beat the Bills 17-10 in Ralph Wilson Stadium.
[Read More]
Whoops! Registered Sex Offender Working For Kirkwood School District
Posted on December 21, 2009
| The Editor
You know that creepy cafeteria worker at your kids school and seems to look a little too long while shoveling the creamed corn? …I mean he’s weird, but its a school…they don’t actually hire people that would…you know…nothing to worry about.
Oh wait. Your kid doesn’t go to the Kirkwood School District do they?
Ok, then go ahead and worry. They hire molesters there.
Think about that everyone that hasn’t molested a kid and can’t find a job!
[Read More]
If You Used a Valet at the Hyatt, Your Car is Famous!
Posted on December 17, 2009
| The Editor
For all the awesome things the internet does, one of its greatest powers is always overlooked. “What is this power?” you ask so this article will flow the way I want it to… Well catching people committing crimes when they post a video of them doing it on YouTube like freaking morons!
Kyle O’Brien didn’t know anything had happened to his 2004 Dodge until he saw his car being abused on FOX 2 Tuesday night, “I’m not freaking out about it, but it isn’t that funny,” says OBrien.
[Read More]
No, No One Knows Who David Freese Is
Posted on December 17, 2009
| The Editor
Heard this from a reliable source close to the arresting officer that ended Cardinal 3rd baseman David Freese’s mobile kegger last weekend:
When Freese was stopped he pulled the “Do you know who I am?!” routine!
Seriously.
Here’s a note to all you “St. Louis Celebs,” when your ass is in the fryer, and you ask “Do you know who I am!?” its a douche move even if you are Albert Pujols, but its a whole crazy new level of douche to do it when you are basically a minor league third baseman that has had a cup of coffee in the bigs and his only real skill of power seemingly evaporate like that little bit of foam left in a keg cup.
[Read More]
Highway 40 is Still Just a Road Right?
Posted on December 8, 2009
| The Editor
If you read the tweets last night or watched the news today you would have thought the new chunk of highway 40 that opened yesterday came with free ice cream at every onramp and it was lined with thousands of hot naked chicks washing each other.
“I’m right here by the new Hampton overpass and anxious drivers and pouring on to the new highway as we speak…”
“The east bound onramp is open and we are at XXX are the first to merge on!
[Read More]
Hunter Has Internet but Bad Aim, Takes Credit For Drowning Deer
Posted on December 4, 2009
| The Editor
Did you hear the one about the guy that used Google Earth to find the best place to hunt deer, lined up his shot but missed, causing the deer to fall down a cliff and drown…and then totally take credit anyway like he did something special?
[Joe] Graber added the Internet to his arsenal, using the Google Earth mapping service to pinpoint paths the buck would likely follow to pursue female deer.
[Read More]
Old Guy Gets Fake High School Diploma Because at this Point, Why Not?
Posted on November 12, 2009
| The Editor
So a long time ago this guy quits High School to get a job and then ends up in the military, bravely serving his country in World War II. After that he gets married twice, has no kids, is described as “colorful” and spends his time watching TV all day. All this 70 year old guy really needs is an occasional dusting, but instead he’s being given an honorary High School diploma.
[Read More]
City Workers Throw Away Homeless Guy’s Heart Meds
Posted on November 6, 2009
| The Editor
We all know from our experiences at the post office or DMV that some people can be pretty damn rude, but this is some cold shit right here:
Four or five homeless people have made Interco Park on Tucker near Cole their home for the last few months, but Wednesday night, were told the park was going to be cleaned up and out Thursday.
At 10 a.m. Thursday, a city garbage truck backed up to the tents and employees of the parks department started dismantling tents and dumping bags of personal possessions into the gaping maw of the truck.
[Read More]
Stupid Canadian Wanted to Get Shot Down, Instead Lands in Missouri
Posted on November 5, 2009
| The Editor
Lets say you are a sad Canadian that apparently wants to die. Oh wait, lets also say you are a freaking moron…and oddly enough, have a pilot’s license. What’s the suicide move?
Would you have decided to hop in a plane, and try to fly across the US border hoping to get shot down only to have that not happen, and then keep flying until you have to make an emergency landing in Missouri?
[Read More]
The Dirty Uncovers One of St. Louis’ Finest Parents
Posted on November 5, 2009
| The Editor
From The Dirty:
THE DIRTY ARMY: My little sister pulled this up for me today, she was at this Halloween party. The fat, orange slob in the middle is Mary L*nk, proud mother of 5 but it has been said she lets her daughter’s homeless felon friends live with her as well. The more shocking part of this picture is her seven year old son in the bottom right corner. My sister mentioned that she lets them have parties so often that if the police come to their house one more time, she will get her children taken away… which may be for the better.
[Read More]