Tony and Albert Looked a Little Freaked Out at Saturday’s Game

 Posted on May 23, 2011  |  The Editor

What the hell had Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa so spooked in these Getty Image photos from Saturday’s game versus the Kansas City Royals? A: It was just at that moment that someone realized that the freaking Rod Barajas is currently out-hitting Pujols. B: They were both just told that the new movie “Beaver” isn’t exactly what they thought it was, and was actually about a crazy old racist actor trying to make a comeback with a puppet, instead of what we all really want to see him do to turn his career around, Air America 2. [Read More]
albert pujols  baseball  cardinals  tony larussa  weird 

Sam Mellinger Smells Like Poop and He Probably Rapes Bunnies

 Posted on May 21, 2011  |  The Editor

Sam Mellinger, Brandon Phillips called. He wants his bit back. Friday, just before the beginning of the twice-yearly snooze-fest that is the Cardinals playing the Royals, a series that might as well be the World Series to the craptastic (though, admittedly more talented than usual) Kansas City Royals, the Kansas City Star choose to run a link-bait piece ripping St. Louis by Sam Mellinger. It really wasn’t all that original, and frankly was kinda sad since their St. [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  royals  sam mellinger 

Not News: Stupid Cincinnati Radio Show Has Stupid Contest About LaRussa

 Posted on May 19, 2011  |  The Editor

We’re loving all the Cardinals vs Reds stuff over the past year. It has real potential to get good rather than that stupid “We just respect each other too much.” rivalry with the Astros a few years back. The problem is that Tony LaRussa and Walt Jocketty are still buddies and that friendship is really holding this whole thing back. Take this recent business with the Cincinnati radio station doing a contest bit making fun of LaRussa’s on-going spat with shingles. [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  cincinnati  marty brennanman  reds 

Oh Theriot…That Was Not a Good Idea

 Posted on May 11, 2011  |  The Editor

Ryan Theriot, the solid bench player that was scrappy enough to convince Tony LaRussa to give him a starting job. The facts are, 1. He’s really a pretty piss poor shortstop. 2. His jersey gets dirty. 3. He’s really really bad at talking to the press. Post Dispatch’s Bernie Miklasz describes Theriot’s latest flub: Theriot may be in for some jeering when he returns to St. Louis after joining in on the fun on a Chicago sports-talk show (ESPN 1000). [Read More]
cardinals  cubs  ryan theriot 

Stupid Cardinal Player Nicknames: Our Best Chris Berman Imitation

 Posted on May 9, 2011  |  The Editor

  The Cardinals haven’t had a game broadcast by the fat, large-foreheaded, bad-suited ESPN figure-head Chris Berman in a while, and even though Mike Shannon tries his best to ruin the Cardinal radio broadcasts, (He’s like your crazy uncle everyone thinks is cute when he hugs your girlfriend for too long and moans.) Berman ruins the name of your favorite players like no one in the business. In the meantime, we can only pretend by making up long-form nicknames. [Read More]
cardinals  chris berman  espn  nicknames 

Ryan Franklin Shaves Beard, Only Finds More Horribleness Underneath

 Posted on April 25, 2011  |  The Editor

Well, you’re chin is the last place we would look for more pitching ability and apparently Ryan Franklin has finally reached that point, shaving of his famous goatee. So that’s how we’re going to play it this year huh Franklin? Times get tough and you lop off trademark-able facial hair? (ahem) We wouldn’t do it. Maybe we were fans of the Oklahoma Sooners (just an example) and whenever they had a bad game would we’d go out an shave the mane off the mascot? [Read More]
baseball  beard  cardinals  celebrity  ryan franklin 

Passed Out Pirates Fan Gets Face Queef

 Posted on April 13, 2011  |  The Editor

Pop Senario Quiz: You’re a nice St. Louis girl at the ballgame in your Molina jersey and your matching red shoes, and as you’re leaving, you see a guy passed out on the street…who also happens to be a Pirates fan…who also happens to have pissed himself. What does a nice young lady of St. Louis do? A: Help the gentleman up, and get him to a cab. B: Take his wallet. [Read More]
cardinals  fans  pirates  sighting 

We Know the Reason For the Crappy Start of Franklin and Pujols

 Posted on April 13, 2011  |  The Editor

11 games in to the Cardinals 2010 season and for two prominent Cardinal members we have the following lines: Ryan Franklin: 9.82 ERA, 1 Save, 4 Earned Runs in 3.2 innings Albert Pujols: .182 Average, 1 HR, 4 RBIs, in 44 at bats It’s early of course, but these ugly starts have been over-analyzed already by every sports talking head both in and out of town, but they’re all wrong. Who has the real answer? [Read More]
albert pujols  baseball  cardinals  ryan franklin 

2011 Season, Game 5: Tony LaRussa Gets Mad at Reporters, Walks Out

 Posted on April 7, 2011  |  The Editor

When Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa announced that he would return as the St. Louis skipper in 2011, he made the following comment: You start thinking about goals. I came up with some goals, very specific ones. One of my goals is to have the media feel like I’m more loveable. Tony was joking. Like really joking it turned out. 5 days in to the 2011 he’s already pulled the “storm out of the press conference bit”. [Read More]
bj rains  cardinals  tony larussa 

The Kid That Taped The USC Students Banging on a Building is a Cardinals Fan

 Posted on April 1, 2011  |  The Editor

If you’re like us and know all there is to know about whatever the coolest video on the internet is, then you know about the video that was shot on the campus of USC that featured a couple going to town on the roof of a building. Not super tall building either. You could see stuff…like the dude’s junk, and the un-daddy loved soul of the slutbag that agreed to get bent over on the roof of a building in broad daylight. [Read More]
cardinals  sextastic  usc  Video