Sam Mellinger Smells Like Poop and He Probably Rapes Bunnies

Sam Mellinger, Brandon Phillips called. He wants his bit back. Friday, just before the beginning of the twice-yearly snooze-fest that is the Cardinals playing the Royals, a series that might as well be the World Series to the craptastic (though, admittedly more talented than usual) Kansas City Royals, the Kansas City Star choose to run a link-bait piece ripping St. Louis by Sam Mellinger. It really wasn’t all that original, and frankly was kinda sad since their St. [Read More]

What Do the Cardinals and George Brett Have in Common?

After getting killed 10-3 in the last game of the three-game set in Kansas City over the weekend, one could say the Cardinals officially crapped themselves in Kansas City. That’s ok though. Kansas City Royals Hall of Famer George Brett says you’re good for one of those at least twice a year. Editor’s Note: NSFW audio…by which I mean, just put on headphones. We’ll tell you if the boss is coming. [Read More]

You Won’t Miss Rick Ankiel, He’ll Be Back Every June as a Royal

Rick Ankiel has come to an agreement to play with cross-state pseudo-baseball team the Royals. Soon Royals fall in love with Rick’s ability to hit the occasional beautiful home run and the breeze in center field he provides on most at-bats for those steamy summer night games. Ankiel with make $3.25 million next year because he wasn’t very good last year and didn’t play that much. In a related story I once had a job I wasn’t very good at and only really showed up half the time, but they fired me and I still owed them money for the blue vest. [Read More]

Links: Because We Were Writing a Long Post All Night

Here are a few links form around the Lou-net: JoeSportsFan found a common thread for every headline about the new American League Cy Young, and no it they don’t all begin with “Who?!” The Short Buzz found that video of me and my two friends performing in our “Hot Sunday” cover band. The Beautiful Kind profiles porn-star Buck Angel. Its really not safe for work, but if it is for you are you hiring? [Read More]