You Won’t Miss Rick Ankiel, He’ll Be Back Every June as a Royal

Rick Ankiel has come to an agreement to play with cross-state pseudo-baseball team the Royals. Soon Royals fall in love with Rick’s ability to hit the occasional beautiful home run and the breeze in center field he provides on most at-bats for those steamy summer night games. Ankiel with make $3.25 million next year because he wasn’t very good last year and didn’t play that much. In a related story I once had a job I wasn’t very good at and only really showed up half the time, but they fired me and I still owed them money for the blue vest. [Read More]

Rick Ankiel Calls Super-Agent Scott Boras

[Ring! … Ring! … Ring!] Scott Boras: Hello? Rick Ankiel: Hey! How have you been? SB: Uh, good. Who’s this? RA: Ha! Yeah…so haven’t heard from you in a while. SB: I know…I’ve been busy. Seriously, who is this? RA: Rick! Rick Ankiel. SB: Oh yeah! Sorry…you know…bad connection. How’s the old pitching arm kid?! RA: Scott, remember? I’m an outfielder now. SB: …oh yeah. Real shame about that. RA: Yeah, so anyway…great job with Matt Holliday by the way. [Read More]