Stupid Cardinal Player Nicknames: Our Best Chris Berman Imitation

  The Cardinals haven’t had a game broadcast by the fat, large-foreheaded, bad-suited ESPN figure-head Chris Berman in a while, and even though Mike Shannon tries his best to ruin the Cardinal radio broadcasts, (He’s like your crazy uncle everyone thinks is cute when he hugs your girlfriend for too long and moans.) Berman ruins the name of your favorite players like no one in the business. In the meantime, we can only pretend by making up long-form nicknames. [Read More]

Rapper Pissed ESPN Used His Song No One’s Heard of on Their National Broadcast

First, before we get to the meat of this little ordeal, we want you to know that KSDK brought us this story from Frank Wiley reporting live from downtown St. Louis last night. Why? No clue. None of this had anything to do with downtown St. Louis. Maybe Frank had to smoke or fart or something so he took his work outside. It added nothing to the story of a local rapper suing ESPN, but maybe if you hit your head really really hard or take a day and drink nothing by antifreeze it might make more sense. [Read More]

Kyle Turley on Weed: “That Would be the One Bob.”

A recent Washington University School of Medicine study discussed the use, or rather misuse, of painkillers by current and former NFL players. The study, commissioned by ESPN’s Outside the Lines, found that 52 percent of former players used prescription pain meds during their active days, and 15 percent of that group admitted to misusing drugs in the last month. “That’s a very large number in a population that, at that age, we wouldn’t expect to see much use of these substances at all,” Compton said. [Read More]

Science Proves That the Rams Made a Good Pick in the Fourth Round

Maybe you thought the Rams should have picked a wide receiver earlier in the draft to give St. Louis’ newest leading man, Sam Bradford a target for his first year in the bigs, but ESPN’s Sports Science is here to tell you that the Rams did just fine getting a wide receiver in the fourth round with Mardy Gilyard from the University of Cincinnati. In this clip from earlier this year, the white guy with that same hair cut every TV host not named Regis has walks you through why Mardy (yup, with a d) is no slouch. [Read More]

The ESPN Mothership Turns on WXOS

Yesterday was a big St. Louis sporting news day! Tony LaRussa made his decision to return to manage the Cardinals for at least 2010 official and confirmed the rumor that Mark McGwire would be on board as the team’s new hitting coach! This is a major local news story that broke through the bounds of St. Louis and got national coverage. Obviously the network synonymous with sports, ESPN, picked up and story and when they needed that local view they turned to the obvious radio station choice…KMOX? [Read More]

Yadi Gets the ESPN Magazine Cover

We love ourselves some Pujols out here and the world knows it, but from time to time its good to see someone else on the team to get a little of the spotlight. From our extensive research, we’ve found that if St. Louis had to pick a second favorite Cardinal, most would say the same guy: Yadier Molina Guess who got the next cover of ESPN the magazine and is sporting a pretty bad-ass catcher pose? [Read More]

ESPN Says the Rams Are the Worst Value In All of Sports

In the most recent issue of ESPN The Magazine (July 13, 2009) they released their annual Ultimate Standings where they grade all NBA, NFL and MLB teams in things like “Stadium Experience,” “Fan Relations,” and “Ownership.” In the “Bang for the Buck” category, which is “wins over the past year per revenues directly from fans, adjusted for league schedules”, the Rams came in dead last, as in 122 out of 122. [Read More]