Mayor Slay: Hey NFL, Have the Giants and Vikings Game in St. Louis! NFL: No.

At this point, we’re quite sure that you know all about the Giants and Vikings NFL adventure: The Giants tried to get to Minnesota, but got stranded in Kansas City (sucks for them), causing Sunday’s game to be played on Monday…and then…this shit happened. …which moved the game to Detroit. You also know that the Vikings got destroyed and people talked about Brett Favre the whole time. What you might now have known is that one mayor offered to have the game played at his local stadium instead of Detroit. [Read More]

Governor Nixon Went Hunting and Gave His Kill to Homeless People

Governor Jay Nixon took down a big kill during his latest hunting excursion and in a freaking press release, has announced that he is donating the meat to the homeless. No word yet if the Governor plans on doing a press release if he gives a quarter to a bum at the Metrolink station. Governor Nixon gave his kill to Share the Harvest, a program that allows hunters to donate their kills to be processed and then disbursed to local food banks and shelters. [Read More]

No More Music Lyric Tweets!

We have a secret to divulge…we monitor all of your “tweets.” Yes, all of them. Most are fine, a few are great, and a bunch are so horrible that it makes us want to kick and old lady down the stairs and then pee on her. True story, and we want to remind you that feelings can’t be wrong.

Let’s just get right down to it: You’ve seriously got to stop tweeting song lyrics. Stop it. Stop it right now. It doesn’t make you deep, and frankly it doesn’t even really help the artist themselves seem deep. Right now, assuming you do this, and you know if you do, you’re saying “Whatever. That band I like has totally amazing lyrics that have gotten me through some tough times! They are poets man!” We aren’t sure how to break this to you, but writing stuff that sounds deep isn’t tough and lots of bands that are universally recognized as crap have done it plenty of times. Examples? So glad you asked!

Here are 5 totally deep sounding lyric tweets that any kid with dark hair permanently in their eyes could poop out of their keyboard and other emo kids would be all like “Wow. Totally been there man. I so feel these lyrics.”…but wait, what’s this? A hash tag signifying the artist? …what the f*ck?! Wham? Wham sang that? Now I hate these lyrics that so recently moved me!

1. She sits alone by a lamppost, trying to find a thought that’s escaped her mind.

2. Can’t believe, All the lies that you told, Just to ease your own soul.

3. There’s a path you take and a path untaken. The choice is up to you my friend.

4. If you feel like dancing, well come on, it’s up to you.

5. Dance a little stranger, show me where you’ve been. Love can make you hostage wanna do it again

The matching hashtags for each of these totally deep emotional tweets are after the jump!

Also in protest of these heinous Twitter crimes, we will be tweeting select lyrics from KC & JoJo songs throughout the day so even the music tweeters can know the pain these cause.

[Read More]

5 Things That Are More Popular on Facebook Than Mayor Slay and One That Isn’t

Everything is on Facebook. Everything. Because of that little fact, its a great way to spend your Thursday night, going through things to see how popular they are based on their number of “Likes”. For instance, we found St. Louis’ Mayor, Francis Slay‘s page rocking a pretty damn low 35 “likes”: 35! You know what has more than 35 likes? Sure you can name a bunch of popular people that have way more than 35 likes. [Read More]

I-70 Accident Triggers Twitter’s Shark Jumping Event

Yesterday at the downtown lanes of I-70 a tractor-trailer, a flat bed truck carrying concrete sewer linings and three other cars came together is in the eastbound lanes. The cause was later found to be a driver that stopped in the road to pick up road dibris, causing a slowdown and then the pileup which left the highway closed until about 2pm. Because of its downtown location, the accident could be seen from many office buildings including that of Jason Wagner, Twitter user @threefourteen. [Read More]

Me, Myself, Some Guy and Wang: Exploring Chat Roulette’s Missouri Section

We’ve related Chat Roulette, the (in)famous site where you video chat with someone randomly, to our local area before when someone figured a way to grab screenshots of people and post them according to their geographic location. That was fun, but we wanted Chat Roulette to do the real thing: Make “local” channels to find random chat buddies. Recently they did just that. (Here’s the TechCrunch article about the new local channels) [Read More]

Who the F*ck Does This Kid Think He Is?!

Punching Kitty? …on MySpace? No sir. Not us. Never. …but yet, here we are…kinda…not really… Punching Kitty?! This kid is Punching Kitty? Lets take a closer look: I would like to think we would have more friends and comments if this was really us. In fact, this is the part where our heart goes from a little piece of coal to a big giant hart that breaks through the magnifying box…we should hook this kid up! [Read More]

Kurt Warner Tweets Like an 11 Year Old

OMG! Kurt Warner iz such a gr8 writer. Hs prose jst sEm 2 croS boundaries. LOL. JK. IDK. wutevA. Here’s some examples: Anybody out there no where my IPAD is? Bec, of the 8ppl in this house, of corse no 1 has seen it or played w it all day! Must b my imposter! # Drove past car w/ sticker “boobs r power”, my life suddenly started 2 make sense & y I have always felt powerless! [Read More]

Danario Alexander’s Tweets are Like Poetry…Crazy Crazy Poetry

The Mizzou wide-reciever that had a career year in 2009 but was left undrafted last April has found another way to entertain us all that doesn’t involve touchdowns: Insane ramblings on his Twitter stream. This is way better than watching a Mizzou game. Here are a few examples: Hmm. Begging for line-sitters is something that NFL players can pull off maybe… See this is brilliant. Danario has found a way to make the label “Twitter Follower” more demeaning by incorporating the term “bitches” in there. [Read More]

Found: Time Lapse Video of Driving In To St. Louis

Found this fun little time-lapse video Sean Trani took while driving in to St. Louis a while back, for your Friday enjoyment as you watch the clock ticking…ticking… Can you believe it’s already 4pm?!

Nah. We’re joking. It’s only 2.

If you go poop for an hour it will be 3 when you get out though. Just a thought.