Your Favorite Punching Kitty Stories of 2012 According to Facebook

Earlier we published the list of your favorite stories based on raw page view numbers. This list below is still all about the readers, but since our 2012 redesign focused on Facebook for comments and likes, we thought it would be interesting to find out which of our stories this year were the most popular on everyone’s social network of choice: Facebook. [Editor’s Note: To save a little time for all of us, stories that were on both “readers’ choice” lists, we just glossed over on this one. [Read More]

Stop Shooting People in Their Faces You Assholes!

Again. It happened again! A 17-year-old hospitalized after he was shot in the face. It happened Monday night near Bryant and O’Fallon in north St. Louis. The unidentified teen is hospitalized in serious condition. (That’s the whole story on KMOX’s site. Not sure why it was phrased in extended Haiku form.) Why do we have to keep going over this?! August 9th, 2010: “Dude Buying CDs Gets Shot in the Face“ [Read More]

STLToday Facebook Poll Reveals the NFL Draft Makes Your Dick Hurt

A source sent this screenshot of a STLToday Facebook poll on Friday over the tip line (/tips or tips@punchingkitty.com): According to the source, it didn’t stay up for long, but still interesting to know that while the majority of the St. Louis sports faithful agree with the Rams’ draft strategy, others wanted a better wide receiver, or it just all simply made their dick hurt. Factor in failures like this and their constant use of pop up ads, and maybe it makes more sense to just have the Post Dispatch stick to writing stuff on dead trees. [Read More]

Enough With the “Rally Squirrel” Crap

Enough with the damn Rally Squirrel! Can’t we just let a funny moment from last year’s championship run be a funny moment from last year’s championship run? Please don’t drag it out and ruin the moment! Why do we have to take a little “Tina Fey“-type situation, one that’s cute and funny but something that you’re like “The one time watching ‘Baby Mamma’ is plenty.”, and then dry hump it until it’s used up and ugly, stumbling around like Lindsay Lohan making it an option to only the really ugly or desperate people? [Read More]

Missouri State Government: The Internet is Scary After Your Facebook Gets Hacked!

OMG: Internet hackers are targeting Missouri state representatives and their staff, and no one knows exactly how or why. JK, LOL. Really STLToday? “internet hackers”? You have the first line of your story about Missouri State officials getting their Facebook passwords cracked is about “internet hackers” mysteriously “targeting” the state representatives? You even got the little laptop floating in the blue internet image there. Really nicely done. Did you ask our grandma for help on this story? [Read More]

5 Things That Are More Popular on Facebook Than Mayor Slay and One That Isn’t

Everything is on Facebook. Everything. Because of that little fact, its a great way to spend your Thursday night, going through things to see how popular they are based on their number of “Likes”. For instance, we found St. Louis’ Mayor, Francis Slay‘s page rocking a pretty damn low 35 “likes”: 35! You know what has more than 35 likes? Sure you can name a bunch of popular people that have way more than 35 likes. [Read More]

KSDK Exposes Minor’s Name in the Parkway Central Facebook Drama

KSDK made one hell of a production effort for one of their lovely little in-house stand-ups during a recent local news broadcast about the recent might-have-happened-but-who-knows school “shooting” incident involving Parkway Central at the little moron’s Facebook page. They even went to the trouble of bringing up that very Facebook profile in question, blowing it up on the large video monitor beside the reporter.

One thing though: He’s an uncharged minor. You aren’t supposed to be blasting his name everywhere!

It’s cool though, they thought about that little fact…about 5 seconds too late.

Reporter: [Points to screen left of camera] Now this is the profile page in question.

[Camera pans to screen showing full view of profile, including name and photo]

Reporter: …actually, lets come back to that because…uh…come back to me.

[Camera returns to reporter]

Reporter: We are going to protect this student’s name…uh…because he has not been charged.

Thanks KSDK. That’s probably all the “protecting” the kid can take today.

We aren’t sure of the ramifications for their quick legal blunder, but even it amounts to nothing, this is still pretty bad. We also still can’t figure out why they would put the profile up on the big screen if they knew they shouldn’t be showing it. In our mind, everything was cool until the minute they showed that boy’s name and some old guy in the back that’s worked there for years and hasn’t talked in months yelled out “You can’t do that! It’s agains the law!” Old guys always know the law better than anyone. Probably why the always vote and read the news and stuff. We don’t have time for that crap because of all the loud music we listen to while we horseplay.

What?! Transcripts are good enough you say? Good thing our eagle-eyed tip-daddy managed to grab a little video evidence of the “minor” mistake (Click through the jump to see the video)

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Facebook: Foiling Morons’ School Shooting Plans Since 2010

Remember that movie Minority Report where the police have psychics that can see the future and stop people from doing stuff before they do it? The future is now. Thank you Facebook. 10:18am “Thinking about stabbing this guy in front of me with my fork.” 1:32pm “Cleaning out my fridge! Can’t fit a cut up full-size woman in here will all this left over Chinese food! LOL” 3:45pm “School’s almost out! [Read More]

Really? KSDK’s Art Holliday Has a Fan Club

Last night we ran across the Art Holliday Fan Club on Facebook. Seriously. It gets better though. It’s 350 members actually aren’t just there for the irony. They make use of the discussion board with topics like “Art’s Many Looks” where Patricia Cashman writes: He has got tons of class. He always looks like he is straight out of GQ, but honestly, when he wears his suspenders without his jacket on…I just think he makes all the other men in the news business look like wimpy. [Read More]

Ladue Has a Yacht Club? On Facebook They Do.

Ladue is the Hollywood Hills of St. Louis. They think they’re so great, with their smoking jackets, botox and makeout parties. Crowding West County Mall with their fancy sweat suits dropping their “troubled” kid off at the Hot Topic while the rest of them go to the GAP or stand around outside of a JBucks somewhere, collars popped, looking like a living Dockers ad. It’s like their life is so great they don’t even care that their mexican gardner is taking a leak in their pool. [Read More]