Old Timey Gossip Columnist Jerry Berger Accused of Sexual Misconduct

Jerry Berger’s been around for forever, talkin’ that old timey gossip around these parts. Stuff like this… Super Bowl XLVII, the biggest concert gig in the world, will feature Beyonce on Feb. 3 at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans. Madonna performed in last year’s halftime show. Huge news! Can’t get that anywhere else but BergersBeat.com! …and… The Shane Co. jewelers is eyeing the old Flotken’s Market space on the north side of Olive Boulevard just east of Warson Road in Olivette. [Read More]

STLToday Facebook Poll Reveals the NFL Draft Makes Your Dick Hurt

A source sent this screenshot of a STLToday Facebook poll on Friday over the tip line (/tips or tips@punchingkitty.com): According to the source, it didn’t stay up for long, but still interesting to know that while the majority of the St. Louis sports faithful agree with the Rams’ draft strategy, others wanted a better wide receiver, or it just all simply made their dick hurt. Factor in failures like this and their constant use of pop up ads, and maybe it makes more sense to just have the Post Dispatch stick to writing stuff on dead trees. [Read More]

Fact Checking This Year’s STLToday Mardi Gras Dos and Don’ts

Last year we did our own Mardi Gras “Dos and Don’ts” but we decided to not do it again this year because that last one is still 100% relevant. You could even say “timeless”. Yeah, lets say timeless. It was timeless. Here’s the link again: “Dos and Don’ts For Your Mardi Gras Weekend“ We did however notice that STLToday posted a quick, less boob-focused version this year and we thought that we should run through it real quick to provide some of our expert guidance to our big broke fat media neighbor. [Read More]

STLToday’s Best Photo and Caption Combo Ever?

There’s a screen grab from today’s STLToday.com/sports homepage on the right. Do they think that’s how Pujols reacted to the rumored offer with only 7 years as opposed to his required 10? They think he reacted to it like that time Skip Schumaker ripped that nasty fart in the dugout and then tried to look all casual in the other direction to throw Pujols off the trail? Maybe he did. [Read More]

The Cardinals Kiss Cam: Looking at Your Fat Ass Isn’t Any Better Than Two Dudes

Saturday afternoon at Busch Stadium, a large group consisting of many gay and lesbian couples plans to attend the Cardinals game. Not sure why, the Cards are way out of it, but whatever, that’s their choice. Another choice of their’s is to put in a request to be featured on the “Kiss Cam”. Ok, cool. We don’t see the problem, or even why this is front page news on STLToday…we also have a full set of chromosomes, which might be why we aren’t “outraged” by this and taking to the always delightfully retarded comment section to scream about it.

A staple of sporting events for years, the “Kiss Cam” is pretty simple: Find couples in the crowd. Keep the camera on them until they give each other a little peck. It’s pointless, but gives people a chance to think about something else when the Pirates have crowded around the Cardinals and keep kicking them in the junk. How the hell could this mindless little thing be a problem for anyone? Well all the trouble started because of…wait for it…the Rams.

The request to feature same-sex couples on the Kiss Cam at Busch Stadium grew out of an incident that occurred Sunday at the Edward Jones Dome, where the Rams hosted the Arizona Cardinals. During the Kiss Cam feature, two men dressed in Arizona jerseys were among the couples shown. The crowd laughed and booed when the two men tried to shoo away the cameras. But there were gay men in the crowd who said it was offensive that the Rams organization would choose to embarrass Arizona fans by portraying them as a gay couple.

Eh. I don’t think this was something that was done to “mock the gay community” any more than when Dustin Hoffman kissed Jason Bateman at a ballgame earlier this year, but people are touchy these days. We like that the Rams went for it there and tried their hands at a joke, but frankly it was a bit tired, and line we wouldn’t cross if we really needed everyone we to buy tickets to our games, since alienating people isn’t good business. Either way, it offended some people and, shockingly these days, they acted rationally: They formed a group to go to a sporting event, and asked politely if they could be on the Kiss Cam for once. Well done! So where did the wheels come off? STLToday happened.

Making the issue 20 times bigger than it should have been and knowing full well that their comment section would ignite in an inferno of hatred, STLToday decided to run the story with the headline:

Gays to Cards: Put us on Kiss Cam, too

Are you fucking kidding us with that shit?  Could you have found a more shit-stirring headline that that? What about “Queers Order Cardinals to Play Gay Porn on Busch Stadium Jumbotron”?  “Gays”? So every gay person wants to be on the kiss cam? We’re talking about 200 people here. If this was any other group, would you lump them all together like that? You can talk all you want STLToday about how you are working hard to keep your comments section clean but you’re full of shit, so just admit you want the hoosier hate because it makes your page views go up.

Fun’s just starting though.

First we have Chris Tunno, a Cardinals spokesman, who says this is why it’s scary territory to put homosexual couples on the big screen:

Do you pick a guy and a girl? And what if you pick someone who is not together? And two guys and two girls? Same thing. You’d be in a total mess.

Ever been to a Cardinals game? Every single time we’ve seen the Kiss Cam in action they always end up with at least one shot of a “couple” that aren’t together. Every. Time. When it happens, you can tell right away they aren’t a couple by the body language, people chuckle, the camera moves on and people forget about it. Happens every time without fail and who does that hurt? If the Cardinals were really worried about this, there is a simple solution to drop the chances of a mismatch down to zero: Do a little couple research during the game. Get some binoculars out and scan the crowd. If two people (guy and girl, guy and guy or girl and girl) are a couple, they don’t have to be making out to tell. No one’s going to confuse two hoosier’s with their cut-off t-shirts high-fiving each other as a couple. Of course those two dudes could actually be gay as a tangerine, but you won’t confuse them with a couple.

Ok, we’ve solved the problem for the Cardinals, exposed STLToday as douche-bags and showed you a few other taboo Kiss Cam situations with our inline images…lets get to those STLToday comments shall we? You know you wanna see them!

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Post Dispatch Steals Our Term With a Pretty Picture!

Excuse me, but what the f*ck is this shit?

“Poopstock?!” Oh man that’s clever! In fact it’s super freaking clever because we said, or “coined” it if you will, a full 4 days before this little drawing came out. (Here, here, here, here and here…oh and here) Mention? Credit? Nope.

Guess Kings of Leon aren’t the only ones that get shit on around here.

Screw this! We’re leaving! Some of this photo got in my mouth and now we’re done.

via …screw this. No more via’s for them!

One last thing, we made a drawing in response to this lovely little “Matson cartoon”. Click though the jump to see it.

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STLToday.com Finally Gets a Redesign

St. Louis’ #1 website, STLToday.com, finally launched a much needed redesign the other day. Our sources say its been in the works for some time and has been in a beta test for a few weeks before finally getting released to the general public the other day. We may have gotten a peak somehow and might have been using it for a little while now…or not…maybe…just sayin’. So what do we think? [Read More]

Kurt Greenbaum Leaving STLToday For Greener Patch-ures?

You know how sometimes news people will put a question mark at the end of their headlines or, even more commonly, the TV news anchors will do the higher voice thing at the end of stuff before going to the break: “Are there too many fat people in St. Louis?!”, “People find Randy Naughton informative?!” This headline is just like those. The answer to the “question” we posed to ourselves is: Yes. [Read More]