Stltoday on PUNCHING KITTY

Glad To See STLToday Hasn’t Lost That Magic Headline Touch

Wed, 03 Jul 2013 12:00:30 +0000

Old Timey Gossip Columnist Jerry Berger Accused of Sexual Misconduct

Fri, 19 Oct 2012 12:00:14 +0000

Jerry Berger’s been around for forever, talkin’ that old timey gossip around these parts. Stuff like this…

Super Bowl XLVII, the biggest concert gig in the world, will feature **Beyonce **on Feb. 3 at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans. **Madonna **performed in last year’s halftime show.

Huge news! Can’t get that anywhere else but BergersBeat.com! …and…

The Shane Co. jewelers is eyeing the old Flotken’s Market space on the north side of Olive Boulevard just east of Warson Road in Olivette. . .Brown Smith Wallace is moving to the Brown Shoe building at Hunter at Maryland Avenues in Clayton and sold its building to the St. Louis County Port Authority

STLToday Facebook Poll Reveals the NFL Draft Makes Your Dick Hurt

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:00:17 +0000

A source sent this screenshot of a STLToday Facebook poll on Friday over the tip line (/tips or tips@punchingkitty.com):

According to the source, it didn’t stay up for long, but still interesting to know that while the majority of the St. Louis sports faithful agree with the Rams’ draft strategy, others wanted a better wide receiver, or it just all simply made their dick hurt.

Factor in failures like this and their constant use of pop up ads, and maybe it makes more sense to just have the Post Dispatch stick to writing stuff on dead trees.

Fact Checking This Year’s STLToday Mardi Gras Dos and Don’ts

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 13:00:38 +0000

Last year we did our own Mardi Gras “Dos and Don’ts” but we decided to not do it again this year because that last one is still 100% relevant. You could even say “timeless”. Yeah, lets say timeless. It was timeless. Here’s the link again: “Dos and Don’ts For Your Mardi Gras Weekend“

We did however notice that STLToday posted a quick, less boob-focused version this year and we thought that we should run through it real quick to provide some of our expert guidance to our big broke fat media neighbor.

STLToday.com’s Headline [FIXED]

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:55:57 +0000

STLToday’s Best Photo and Caption Combo Ever?

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 15:00:02 +0000

There’s a screen grab from today’s STLToday.com/sports homepage on the right.

Do they think that’s how Pujols reacted to the rumored offer with only 7 years as opposed to his required 10? They think he reacted to it like that time Skip Schumaker ripped that nasty fart in the dugout and then tried to look all casual in the other direction to throw Pujols off the trail?

Maybe he did.

The Cardinals Kiss Cam: Looking at Your Fat Ass Isn’t Any Better Than Two Dudes

Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:00:28 +0000

Saturday afternoon at Busch Stadium, a large group consisting of many gay and lesbian couples plans to attend the Cardinals game. Not sure why, the Cards are way out of it, but whatever, that’s their choice. Another choice of their’s is to put in a request to be featured on the “Kiss Cam”. Ok, cool. We don’t see the problem, or even why this is front page news on STLToday…we also have a full set of chromosomes, which might be why we aren’t “outraged” by this and taking to the always delightfully retarded comment section to scream about it.

A staple of sporting events for years, the “Kiss Cam” is pretty simple: Find couples in the crowd. Keep the camera on them until they give each other a little peck. It’s pointless, but gives people a chance to think about something else when the Pirates have crowded around the Cardinals and keep kicking them in the junk. How the hell could this mindless little thing be a problem for anyone? Well all the trouble started because of…wait for it…the Rams.

The request to feature same-sex couples on the Kiss Cam at Busch Stadium grew out of an incident that occurred Sunday at the Edward Jones Dome, where the Rams hosted the Arizona Cardinals. During the Kiss Cam feature, two men dressed in Arizona jerseys were among the couples shown. The crowd laughed and booed when the two men tried to shoo away the cameras. But there were gay men in the crowd who said it was offensive that the Rams organization would choose to embarrass Arizona fans by portraying them as a gay couple.

Eh. I don’t think this was something that was done to “mock the gay community” any more than when Dustin Hoffman kissed Jason Bateman at a ballgame earlier this year, but people are touchy these days. We like that the Rams went for it there and tried their hands at a joke, but frankly it was a bit tired, and line we wouldn’t cross if we really needed everyone we to buy tickets to our games, since alienating people isn’t good business. Either way, it offended some people and, shockingly these days, they acted rationally: They formed a group to go to a sporting event, and asked politely if they could be on the Kiss Cam for once. Well done! So where did the wheels come off? STLToday happened.

Making the issue 20 times bigger than it should have been and knowing full well that their comment section would ignite in an inferno of hatred, STLToday decided to run the story with the headline:

“Gays to Cards: Put us on Kiss Cam, too“

Are you fucking kidding us with that shit? Could you have found a more shit-stirring headline that that? What about “Queers Order Cardinals to Play Gay Porn on Busch Stadium Jumbotron”? “Gays”? So every gay person wants to be on the kiss cam? We’re talking about 200 people here. If this was any other group, would you lump them all together like that? You can talk all you want STLToday about how you are working hard to keep your comments section clean but you’re full of shit, so just admit you want the hoosier hate because it makes your page views go up.

Fun’s just starting though.

First we have Chris Tunno, a Cardinals spokesman, who says this is why it’s scary territory to put homosexual couples on the big screen:

Do you pick a guy and a girl? And what if you pick someone who is not together? And two guys and two girls? Same thing. You’d be in a total mess.

Ever been to a Cardinals game? Every single time we’ve seen the Kiss Cam in action they always end up with at least one shot of a “couple” that aren’t together. Every. Time. When it happens, you can tell right away they aren’t a couple by the body language, people chuckle, the camera moves on and people forget about it. Happens every time without fail and who does that hurt? If the Cardinals were really worried about this, there is a simple solution to drop the chances of a mismatch down to zero: Do a little couple research during the game. Get some binoculars out and scan the crowd. If two people (guy and girl, guy and guy or girl and girl) are a couple, they don’t have to be making out to tell. No one’s going to confuse two hoosier’s with their cut-off t-shirts high-fiving each other as a couple. Of course those two dudes could actually be gay as a tangerine, but you won’t confuse them with a couple.

Ok, we’ve solved the problem for the Cardinals, exposed STLToday as douche-bags and showed you a few other taboo Kiss Cam situations with our inline images…lets get to those STLToday comments shall we? You know you wanna see them!

Post Dispatch Steals Our Term With a Pretty Picture!

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Excuse me, but what the f*ck is this shit?

“Poopstock?!” Oh man that’s clever! In fact it’s super freaking clever because we said, or “coined” it if you will, a full 4 days before this little drawing came out. (Here, here, here, here and here…oh and here) Mention? Credit? Nope.

Guess Kings of Leon aren’t the only ones that get shit on around here.

Screw this! We’re leaving! Some of this photo got in my mouth and now we’re done.

via …screw this. No more via’s for them!

One last thing, we made a drawing in response to this lovely little “Matson cartoon”. Click though the jump to see it.

STLToday.com Finally Gets a Redesign

Fri, 25 Jun 2010 12:00:44 +0000

St. Louis’ #1 website, STLToday.com, finally launched a much needed redesign the other day. Our sources say its been in the works for some time and has been in a beta test for a few weeks before finally getting released to the general public the other day. We may have gotten a peak somehow and might have been using it for a little while now…or not…maybe…just sayin’.

So what do we think?

Kurt Greenbaum Leaving STLToday For Greener Patch-ures?

Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:00:16 +0000

You know how sometimes news people will put a question mark at the end of their headlines or, even more commonly, the TV news anchors will do the higher voice thing at the end of stuff before going to the break: “Are there too many fat people in St. Louis?!”, “People find Randy Naughton informative?!”

This headline is just like those. The answer to the “question” we posed to ourselves is: Yes. Kurt Greenbaum is moving on from his post at STLToday.com

Woah! Be Cool STLToday. No One Needs to Get Hurt Today.

Thu, 10 Jun 2010 19:00:58 +0000

Ok…there’s no reason we can’t all walk away from this. Click on an ad? Sure. Whatever you want…um which one? Uh…we mean we don’t see them because they are so unobtrusive and not at all annoying when they roll over what I’m trying to read and can’t go back up. Look, if you want to keep paying Jeff Gordon to do who knows what, that’s fine. It has nothing to do with us…lets just not take this to a point where you can’t turn back man. Was it the racists in your forums that drove you to this point where you are pulling a piece on your web readers? We’re just trying to understand. “Site on site” crime really has to stop! Jesus, just one time cite a blogger as a source when they beat you to the punch!

Whoops!: STLToday Has the Best Ads

Mon, 07 Jun 2010 19:00:08 +0000

Found by a reader on STLToday over the weekend:

We aren’t sure at this time if the glue would have helped keep the swing together better or if STLToday is suggesting we actually put the child back together with Elmers.

More as this story develops.

Post Dispatch Moves Around People’s Jobs on “Pretend Any of This Matters” Day.

Wed, 26 May 2010 16:00:12 +0000

According to both the Riverfront Times and the Post-Dispatch, our local dead-tree news source is moving some people around slightly in their jobs. Initial speculation is that the Post Dispatch celebrated the internal holiday of “Pretend Any of This Matters” Day…or just needed to fill a little space on page 14 between the first ad and the other four.

Most noticeable among those is the switch at City Hall where education reporter David Hunn will step in forJake Wagman who’s covered St. Louis politics for much of the past decade.

The Rams Have Been Bought and the Hoosiers Are Pissed!

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:00:05 +0000

Lets face it. Hoosiers love football. Its not like Nascar where only hoosiers like it, but still…hoosiers love football.

Ya think any of these totally liberal and culturally understanding fellas were a tad taken aback by the impeding sale of the Rams to some guy that didn’t look like them?

Here’s a fun game! Go to the first post that broke the story on STLToday.com (here) and count the number of times some STLToday moderator had to remove someone’s comment for being “off topic.” That’s how many douche bag racist ass holes are in our midst! Fun huh?

Kurt Greenbaum Thinks He Did Nothing Wrong (with video)

Fri, 15 Jan 2010 02:35:57 +0000

precedent

noun |ˈpresid(ə)nt|

an earlier event or action that is regarded as an example or guide to be considered in subsequent similar circumstances

Just a little note for our friend Kurt Greenbaum. After watching a video we received tonight from the guys over at STLtomorrow of Greenbaum shakily talking about the infamous incident at his recent public appearance, its clear he has no idea what the word means.

Greenbaum to Giving Tips About How to Handle New Media?!

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 17:00:15 +0000

You really can’t make this stuff up. I tried to make up something as crazy as this once but it ended up no one thought it was all that funny, we had to land the plane in Colorado, and I’m pretty sure I’m on the no-fly list now.

If there ever were doubts about whether the public has opinions about the news, the arrival of online reader comments has dispelled them. They do, and they aren’t afraid to post them online, usually anonymously. Sometimes those views are insightful, but sometimes they’re insensitive and occasionally they’re downright offensive.

Greenbaum Returns! STLToday’s Comments Under Hilarious Attack

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:00:55 +0000

New year and all is forgiven?

After laying low for all of December, the now infamous Kurt Greenbaum has returned to his blogging duties on STLToday.com…in a post about responsibility.

I-R-O-N-Y!

The comments on the post were shockingly on topic, but all I could see what the first page of them. Clicking the “Next” link broke STLToday.com for me. I know, totally shocking huh?

Also not shocking is the fact that social news site Reddit has already picked up on his return and the link has reached the front page with, at the time of this writing, 785 votes and nearly 300 comments.

STLToday Looking To Upgrade That Commenting System?

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:00:59 +0000

We hear that the Post Dispatch’s Web Director, Will Sullivan is on Twitter looking for tips on commenting systems.

Hmmm, can’t think of why that would be. Any ideas?

The Post Dispatch’s “Social Media Guy” Tattles on Naughty Commenter, Craps on Privacy Policy

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:00:51 +0000

Kurt Greenbaum, Director of Social Media at the St. Louis Post Dispatch jumped on his blog the other day to gleefully tell the tale about how he tracked down one of the thousands of nasty commenters on STLToday.com, called the employer of the commentator (based on the IP/Hostname) and because of his tattle-telling, the dude got fired.

…and then the internet skull-f*cked him.

Here’s a few of the comments on his original blog post entitled “Post a Vulgar Comment at Work, Lose Your Job“:

STLToday Takes Annoying Ads to the Next Level

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:00:05 +0000

Hi STLToday.com, thanks for coming over, have a seat.

You know that show on A&E where these people confront someone that is doing drugs or whatever and thus is in desperate need of money so sometimes they start whoring themselves out to anyone that will give them a buck even if what they want to do to them is totally messed up?

Today we are doing that for you.

No no no! Sit down! You need to hear this.