Missouri State Government: The Internet is Scary After Your Facebook Gets Hacked!


Internet hackers are targeting Missouri state representatives and their staff, and no one knows exactly how or why.


Really STLToday? “internet hackers”? You have the first line of your story about Missouri State officials getting their Facebook passwords cracked is about “internet hackers” mysteriously “targeting” the state representatives? You even got the little laptop floating in the blue internet image there. Really nicely done. Did you ask our grandma for help on this story?

Since the legislative session started Jan. 5, five people on the House side of the Capitol have reported their Facebook accounts being hacked: three Republican legislators, one Democratic legislator and one Republican staffer.

It is the most concentrated, widespread rash of hacking events the House has seen.

Five. It’s only been five. Right here, at the height of the fools-tension built up by author Rebecca Berg, who sounds like she uses an abacus and leaves her computer in the corner because of the demons, seems like a good time to remind you that we aren’t talking about official state computers or government accounts, we’re talking about Facebook. The “secrets”, if any, that have been stolen are less Missouri government building access codes, and more like the date of their nephew’s bar mitzvah.

If a hacker alters a lawmaker’s carefully crafted public message, the political damage can be immediate and lasting.

“I just don’t trust this stuff, and now I know why,” [Donna Lichtenegger, R-Jackson] said.

Not really. We already forgot about the one that happened a couple of weeks ago…plus no one cares what the rep from Jackson thinks about anything on her Facebook. Great to hear you’re scared of the internet now because of your own lack of knowledge about it though. “Ow! Fire burn hand after me stupidly touch it! Me no like fire no more.”

Meanwhile, at least one positive experience has come of a compromised Facebook account. Rep. Stacey Newman, D-Richmond Heights, whose Facebook account was hacked just one day after the start of session, has used her experience to foster new relationships — in real life, instead of on the Internet.

After hearing news last week that Lichtenegger’s Facebook had been hacked, too, Newman reached across the aisle to commiserate with her House colleague. She joked that the two have formed their own bipartisan caucus to discuss hacking-related matters.

…you’ve got to be kidding me with this crap.

Newman said the rash of computer security breaches does concern her.

“Now that it’s happened to a few of us in the House — why? It does make you start to wonder,” she said. “I don’t know what the next step should be, but I’m very disconcerted.”

You’re a moron. Don’t play with Facebook at work. We talked to the taxpayers and they said they’d rather you spend the time finding them a job. …oh shit. Stand still. We think we see an “internet hacker” behind you! Oh nevermind. It was just a guy talking to a 12 year old girl on a sex chatroom. Whew. That was close! He could have “hacked” your Facebook account and then where would you be when they changed your status from “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”?! OMG?! Can you imagine?

via STLToday (…which is on the internet! Do you know how to get there? If you look at that picture they posted it’s just past the floating laptop, down the glowing internet hallway, take a right and then a left at the Starbucks. It will be the glowing blue door on your left.)