Governor Jay Nixon took down a big kill during his latest hunting excursion and in a freaking press release, has announced that he is donating the meat to the homeless. No word yet if the Governor plans on doing a press release if he gives a quarter to a bum at the Metrolink station.
Governor Nixon gave his kill to Share the Harvest, a program that allows hunters to donate their kills to be processed and then disbursed to local food banks and shelters. So far over 2 million pounds of meat have been donated to the program.
Though listed as an “8-point buck” in the press release, we both know that powerful men like the Governor don’t hunt deer like the rest of you chumps, his target is “the most dangerous game”…man. Homeless dudes to be exact. Looking closely at the press release it actually reads “8-point, Buck, a crazy guy that was wearing three coats at the time which slowed him down, thus only the 8 points.” Of course, this human hunting plan will all come crumbling down when they pick a bad ass homeless guy like Ice-T not realizing how smart and strong he is… hmm…not sure how someone like that can be homeless actually. Ok, so rich guys show definitely not select any homeless guys that are too bad ass to be homeless, but for some reason, are.* Past stories may say that this plan will never work, but we’ll give him credit, he’s doing more work on the homeless situation than Mayor Slay.
When asked, Share the Harvest takes the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy to what type of meat comes through the door and frankly the phrase “homeless chili” is lost of most of the shelter’s dinner guests any way.**
** We’re kidding of course, I’m sure they care. Not sure the homeless would care as much, but we’re sure they do.