Stop Shooting People in Their Faces You Assholes!

 Posted on May 2, 2012  |  The Editor

Again. It happened again! A 17-year-old hospitalized after he was shot in the face. It happened Monday night near Bryant and O’Fallon in north St. Louis. The unidentified teen is hospitalized in serious condition. (That’s the whole story on KMOX’s site. Not sure why it was phrased in extended Haiku form.) Why do we have to keep going over this?! August 9th, 2010: “Dude Buying CDs Gets Shot in the Face“ [Read More]
face  facebook  shooting  twitter 

The Loop Hosted a Massive Fight and a Shooting Saturday Night

 Posted on April 2, 2012  |  The Editor

We were telling someone, just a couple of days ago, that “The Loop” was a great area of St. Louis and doesn’t have the issues the rest of the city seems to be unable to fix. “Stick to Delmar between The Pageant and Cicero’s and you’ll be fine.” St. Louis you’ve made a liar out of us. KMOX’s Michael Calhoun went on Twitter Saturday night and on the KMOX website (which inexplicably named: stlouis. [Read More]
loop  shooting  university city 

Wentzville Church Trivia Night Ends With Accidental Shooting

 Posted on January 23, 2012  |  The Editor

A man was shot in Wentzville’s St. Patrick’s church over the weekend and the police are ruling it as an accident, which is just so St. Charles County. Sure people get shot out there too, just like in the city, but out there it’s always “My bad! Junior’s still a learnin’ about the safety! He’ll master it by age 5 like his daddy!” rather than a 45 year old prostitute gunning down some crackhead trying to steal her stash. [Read More]
church  shooting  st. charles county  wentzville 

Flow Chart Friday: Should I Shoot That Guy Over There?

 Posted on January 6, 2012  |  The Editor

It’s a question that pops in to the heads of many a St. Louis area resident: “Should I should that guy over there?” It’s not always an easy question, so going forward, use this handy flow chart to decide. The original version had a part where it asked if you were from a drug-addled neighborhood in North City, and if so, proceed directly to “Shoot him!” but we took it out because if people from drug-addled neighborhoods in North City can’t read, so there’s really no point. [Read More]
flow chart  shooting 

Man Shot in Groin, Probably Felt Less Funny Than It Sounds

 Posted on June 1, 2011  |  The Editor

A St. Louis man was walking down the street when he was robbed and then shot…in the dick. Officials say that the victim was walking west on Dr. Martin Luther King Drive when a maroon van occupied by a group of black men stopped. The suspect exited the van and demanded property. The suspect took a bag from the victim containing a wallet and a camera before firing shots at the victim, striking him in the groin. [Read More]
dick  robbery  shooting 

Off-Duty Cop Shoots Himself at Imo’s

 Posted on May 24, 2011  |  The Editor

We haven’t had Imo’s Pizza in a while, and it sounds pretty good…not sure if it sounds “leg shootin’ good”, but good. The unidentified officer had been working in uniform as a security guard at the Schnucks, 3431 Union Boulevard. The St. Louis Police Department had approved him for that second job. At about 5:20 p.m. Sunday, he went to an Imo’s pizza restaurant at 3441 Union Boulevard. He adjusted his weapon and the gun accidentally discharged, police say. [Read More]
imos  morons  police  shooting 

A North Side Story

 Posted on May 10, 2011  |  The Editor

There are some that believe, despite all the evidence to the contrary, like the dropping population numbers, the fact we have our own, albeit crappy, superhero, and that St. Louis’s crime issue isn’t as bad as folks like us make it out to be. To those people, we present this, the saddest, craziest story we’ve heard of…so far this week: In short, a group of people gathered in the street for a vigil for their slain family member and friend last week. [Read More]
death  north city  shooting 

Prentice Nash: Duck-Faced Killa

 Posted on April 7, 2011  |  The Editor

Prentice Nash was arrested for the fatal shooting of Wade Finch in a crime that if you closed your eyes and just heard the names you’d swear it was two chubby, rich white kids in sweater vests fighting over a Faberge egg. Investigators believe Nash, whose home is in the 6600 block of Mignon, about a half-mile from the scene, killed Finch during a robbery attempt. Nash is charged with 2nd degree murder, first degree robbery and armed criminal action. [Read More]
mugshot  shooting 

South St. Louis Gun Fight Ends With Suspect and US Marshal Dead

 Posted on March 9, 2011  |  The Editor

A scene right out of an action movie played out in St. Louis again yesterday when two city police officers and eight (8!) US Marshals showed up at the door of the wanted Carlos Boles. Taking Mr. Boles in to custody at his South City home did not go smoothly. Police and US Marshals then began a floor by floor search for Boles. Once discovered, the suspect fired and the law enforcement officials returned fire, according to William Sibert with the U. [Read More]
carlos boles  shooting  south city 

St. Louis: The Face Shootin’-est City This Side of the Mississippi!

 Posted on March 1, 2011  |  The Editor

It’s been about 60 days, so we were due for a good ole fashioned St. Louis face shooting! This time it was in North St. Louis (Whaaat? No way!) off of Union, just north of Martin Luther King Dr (Double whaaaat?! No way!). A 27-year-old man is in critical condition after being shot in the face outside of Union Market, in north St. Louis. Police say the victim was walking out on the 1900 block of Union, when witnesses say they heard gunshotsand discovered the victim outside. [Read More]
face  north city  shooting