Vernita Bruce Is Not Don King, So Just Stop Making Those Jokes Now. Frankly It’s A Bit Lazy.

Vernita Bruce is one hell of a mom! She has no comb or common sense and she’s clearly dangerously imbalanced, but she will go the extra mile to be horrible! Like when her 13-year-old daughter told her that girls at school wanted to fight her, did she just sit down with some Full House-style talk about how violence isn’t the answer, ending with a hug while the sounds of clapping come out of nowhere? [Read More]

Lets Save the North City Community Center You Guys!

There’s a $20 million dollar, taxpayer-funded community center in North St. Louis and no one’s using it. Why? At first we thought it was because it’s in North City and there’s probably some scary gang hanging out by the front door, which still might be true, but the actual reason is because the door is locked over political fighting between Mayor Slay and Alderman Antonio French. Here’s the short version: French doesn’t want the rec center to open until his demands for a better deals for his residents are met, and the Mayor disagrees and doesn’t want to lose to “French” people. [Read More]

A North St. Louis Woman Set Herself on Fire After a Gas Fight

“Whew! Glad we got our fight settled over that gas can. I should go change though because I have gas all over me in addition to all the booze I’ve been drinking…but first I need a light up a smoke. Oh shit. I’m totally on fire now.” That’s a thing that happened. We ad-libbed the dialog. Police tell News 4 the woman and the man she lives with in North St. [Read More]

St. Louis Drug Dealers Are Horrible Salesmen

Ok, well we give up! It’s officially a no-win situation in St. Louis when someone walks up to you at a probably creepy North City gas station as asks if you want to buy some drugs. In July we found out that you shouldn’t say “No thanks.” because then you’ll get shot, so we, being the kind, helpful, nice smelling, soul-meltingly beautiful site we are, we offered the following advice: [Read More]

One Ice Cream Truck, Two Robberies

An ice cream truck stopped outside the O’Fallon Place apartment complex in North City was the scene of two different robberies happening at the exact same time…and they both happened after the thugs had paid for their ice cream. 19 year-old Ronell Ross, handed his money to the ice cream truck driver’s 10 year-old son just moments before he busted inside, putting his gun against the head of the woman driver while her son plead for her life. [Read More]

New in St. Louis: People Getting Shot For NOT Buying Drugs

Early Sunday morning a north city woman was reportedly shot in the chest after she refused an offer to buy some drugs. Take away lesson? If you live it St. Louis, it appears that when someone offers you drugs, it’s safter to just take some since the one thing you can’t go to rehab for a bullet in the chest. Please inform your kids about this change in standard parenting lesson protocol. [Read More]

Just One? Oh KMOV, You’re Just Not Looking Hard Enough!

We noticed this headline last night on, but after a second we realized we always notice this headline on  Think of the time it saves to just always have this same headline on the home page! If someone calls you on it you’re only wrong for a max of like 30 minutes. It’s brilliant.

Pie Charts For Science

We present to you a few pie charts showing some relevant data but in the shape of pies because we both know you love pie. Maybe if you ate up science like you gobble down pie, you’d be working at that job you’d rather have. Something to think about, but today is a new day and you can have your lookin’ balls feast on fresh baked St. Louis science! 1. Reasons we go anywhere near North City 2. [Read More]

North City White Castle Thief Thought She Could Make the Jump

A North City woman is in the hospital after jumping from the roof of a third story building because she was being chased by police after robbing a nearby White Castle drive-through. You know an illegal adventure involving White Castle looks like fun in the movies, but in real life Neil Patrick Harris isn’t always there to catch you when you fall. The employee handed a locked cash drawer to the woman who then drove away. [Read More]

Man Starts Armed Police Standoff While Holding Infant

Sure no one would ever want to shoot a baby, but honestly, a one month old is way too little to be an effective human shield. You cover chest and you expose the face, cover your face with the baby and you expose your chest as well as your nose to any baby stink. The trick really is to find the perfect mix of size and cute “You wouldn’t shoot me, would you Mr. [Read More]