Going Out

As promised, Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg appeared at the closest movie theatre to an airport in the St. Louis area, signed some stuff, talked to some people and local media and answered a few questions…just until the helicopter dropped down to airlift them the hell out of the giant strip-mall in a flood plain we call Chesterfield.

We have a few pictures courtesy of Getty Images, which really didn’t need to be said because they still have their watermark on them. Guess what though? Images are really expensive and apparently you can only rent them now for three months at a time. Freaking ridiculous. If we were going to spend that much money on something it sure the hell wouldn’t be for photos of Mark Wahlberg, plus the memories of crying until getting up the courage to actually take my shirt off right when our time runs out will last forever.

Did anyone see the movie last night? Was our guess summary (bottom of post) on the money?

More images after the jump…

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We found this video via The St. Louis Egotist yesterday, and had to do the re-post. It’s really a very well done video with great shots of City Garden, City Museum, Forest Park, and all the other good places around town.

Notice how steady they keep the camera despite all the dead bodies and homeless people they had to step over to shoot it.

Driving down Forest Park Parkway, the “intra-city 40”, and a truck pulls in ahead of us.

Seems small though. Can’t figure out what’s wrong with this thing, but something is off. Wait a minute…that’s a Ford Escort…that is a Ford Escort truck!  …which aren’t supposed to exist and thus are like a chick with a third boob. You know, like at first you hear about it and you are like “Whoa! Three boobs?! That sounds awesome…and then you get there and after looking at it, its not quite right and makes everything look off because they aren’t lined up horizontally, but the third one is aligned vertically with the right boob making her look like some sort of weird dog girl which isn’t what you were hoping.  …maybe if there were four and she was evened out…no, even then, its just wrong and your dreams and expectations tempered like so many Saved by the Bell-themed wet dreams after watching Showgirls.

Have you ever really needed a truck but only had an old 4-door car? Lets say you did. Now let me ask you this: In that situation, would you think to yourself “Well I’ve got a shit-load of time on my hands! Lets just make a truck out of my Ford Escort!”

No. You wouldn’t think that. This guy did though. Thought it. Did it. …and now he is legend.

More photos after the jump!

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A community pool in Belleville had to shut down yesterday, during one of the hottest days ever in the history of time. Sure the water felt nice on such a hot day, but did it feel puking and parasite nice? Not sure. Maybe just invest in a Slip n’ Slide. The health department told the city to use more chlorine after one swimmer became sick. After that, three more swimmers became ill. [Read More]

Could retired Arizona Cardinals quarterback and St. Louis demi-god, Kurt Warner, is rumored to be in the next set of has-beens/trying-to-bes on the ABC show Dancing With the Stars. Kurt Warner, formerly of Arizona and St. Louis, who is reportedly under consideration for the fall season of DWTS. So reports Lisa de Moraes, the Washington Post’s television columnist from the annual summer critics tour. While DWTS has previously hosted running backs (Emmitt Smith), wide receivers (Jerry Rice) and defensive linemen (Warren Sapp) , Warner would be the first quarterback to be a contestant on the show. [Read More]

Well kinda. It’s more like the real first pitch that goes to a celebrity at a ballgame and then the 14 other “first pitches” that they give out to retarded children. Guess which one St. Louis is in that metaphor? The buddy-cop comedy is set in New York, so the Big Apple gets the first bite, on Aug. 4. But the next day, Will and Mark will jet to St. [Read More]

Glad to see Nelly is allowed to preform somewhere these days. Though by the time the show started it wasn’t much of a secret, Nelly’s “surprise” appearance in which he shared the stage with fellow native St. Louisan Chuck Berry at the Democratic Convention concert downtown last night sure geeked a lot of people up anyway. Hopefully the fancy dinner and dancing date we took the Democratic Party officials on where we pushed our boobs up and wore that dress that our mom thinks is slutty, but works every time if you know what I mean…we mean sex…will get the DNC to feel up our city’s thigh enough where we can photograph it and bribe them to hold their conference here and then they’ll figure, “What the hell? [Read More]

Branson, MO: Progress, diversity, words we mean the opposite of. For the second time, officials for country music mecca Branson, MO have denied a proposed concert by rapper and St. Louis native, Nelly. Concert organizer Paul Dunn announced on July 4 that Nelly would perform as part of the reopening of the Grand Palace. But the city on July 9 denied a special event permit, citing concerns about parking, crowd control and noise. [Read More]

Lets be honest, we’ve called Kings of Leon all kinds of fun things in the last few days after their now infamous pouting scene after getting pooped on made its way around the globe. Nothing too bad though, just light hearted jokes. 7/24 – They’re giant pussies. 7/24 – Jesus these guys are freaking retarded. 7/24 – Congratulations, you just outted yourself to even your most die-hard fans that you are no more “rock” than Hanna Montana. [Read More]

It’s official. This whole Kings of Leon/Poopstock thing is out of control. How do we know? When fake Twitter accounts start hitting its out of control.

View his profile at: twitter.com/kolpigeon