Larry Rice Wants to Buy a YMCA for $1

Larry Rice is continuing to petition Belleville, Illinois voters to pass his ballot measure that would demand the city sell him the vacant YMCA building for one dollar…then he’s going to send his army of homeless people out looking for that one dollar. Here’s hoping Belleville will take a sack of pennies as payment. The Rev. Larry Rice on Monday submitted a 790-signature petition to the St. Clair County Clerk’s Office to force the ballot measure calling for the city to sell the property to his New Life Evangelistic Center in St. [Read More]

Drunk Couple Arrested For Skinny Dipping

It’s Friday and we’ve got no energy for a setup. Talk to us Mr. Blockquote! A couple in Belleville had a little too much summer fun when they decided to swim completely naked in their neighbor’s pool. The two were reportedly drunk at 11:30 a.m. when officers arrived in the 200 block of North Fourth Street. Well well! Now we’re talking! A little day time drunken skinny dip? What’s wrong with that officer? [Read More]

Belleville Woman Calls 911 Because Her Husband Took Her Beer

The Belleville police department’s switch board was lighting up yesterday, all from one woman who just really needed her beer back. Emergencies are subjective! Police say 36-year-old Shannon White dialed 911 several times on Saturday around 8:30 p.m. to complain her boyfriend would not allow her to drink more beer. “Tonight he took away my beer and I want to drink some beer, and he took away my beer,” White said on one of the calls. [Read More]

KMOV Wants You To Know They Don’t Believe This Story Either

Update: Via the comments we have learned that KMOV has since edited out the line in question below. You’re welcome journalism. Original post follows… Belleville police are working through the details of a bizarre situation when two young guys pulled off the road to a gas station because a car was following them and driving erratically. They feared for their safety and possibly rightly so, as shortly after they pulled over the 38 year old following them, got out of his car, reached in their car to grab them. [Read More]

Lindenwood University Can’t Have Nice Things

Lindenwood University’s Belleville campus used to have a statue in anchored near the Welcome Center, but that statue was stolen because it’s St. Louis, and even weird statues anchored in concrete are no longer safe. Investigators are trying to get to the bottom of an art heist in Belleville. Not quite sure this counts as an “art heist”. We we think of art heists, we’re assuming an elaborate scheme to steal a Mona Lisa-type piece, and involve at least one hacker, one super hot chick, a smooth leader and one black dude to be the one that has to start a distraction when the shit goes down…not two assholes walking straight to it at 2:30am, pushing it over, throwing it in a ditch and then coming back for it with their truck. [Read More]

Jogger Gets Pantsed, Didn’t Think It Was Funny

A Belleville woman fought off an attacker that came up from behind her while jogging, pulled down her pants and jumped on top of her. He was going to go with flowers, but thought it seemed to cliche. “Fortunately, she was able to fight him off enough, get up, get her wits together and took off running,” said Captain Don Sax with the Belleville Police Department said. “She began screaming as she was leaving and fortunately there was some other people on the trail that were on bicycles that were coming towards her so she ran towards them, they came towards her. [Read More]

Belleville Mom Takes a Stab at Mother of the Year

Oh moms! They always go too far and end up embarrassing you, like the time that a Belleville mother came home drunk, yelled at her four kids and eventually started chasing them around the house with a knife. Oh and then when the cops came to get her she kicked one right in the balls. Someone’s sure earning her “Best Mom Ever” sweatshirt this year! This totally reminds us of our mom who used to be there when we got home, be totally sober, make us dinner and then tuck us in to bed…. [Read More]

What Ever the Hell This Thing is Slashed a Bunch of Tires

It’s Halloween weekend, so we’ll be cool about it scaring the crap out of that chubby little girl, but slashing tires? I thought things that looked like this stayed under bridges most of the time! Belleville Police report that Susan L. Stone, 48, of Lenzburg, Ill., also known as David Stone, has been charged with two counts of criminal damage to property related to several tire slashings there. [Read More]

Woman Wakes Up to Homeless Guy in House

Who wouldn’t want to wake up to that face in the morning? Apparently this snooty broad from Belleville who got all uptight when she woke up to see a homeless guy (above) standing in her room. According to police, the man was found inside the home in the 100 block of East Monroe last Thursday. The Victim woke up, screamed and the suspect left her room. Officers came and arrested the man without any incident. [Read More]

Belleville Pool Gives People Parasites

A community pool in Belleville had to shut down yesterday, during one of the hottest days ever in the history of time. Sure the water felt nice on such a hot day, but did it feel puking and parasite nice? Not sure. Maybe just invest in a Slip n’ Slide. The health department told the city to use more chlorine after one swimmer became sick. After that, three more swimmers became ill. [Read More]