Lindenwood University Can’t Have Nice Things

Lindenwood University Can’t Have Nice Things

Lindenwood University’s Belleville campus used to have a statue in anchored near the Welcome Center, but that statue was stolen because it’s St. Louis, and even weird statues anchored in concrete are no longer safe.

Investigators are trying to get to the bottom of an art heist in Belleville.

Not quite sure this counts as an “art heist”. We we think of art heists, we’re assuming an elaborate scheme to steal a Mona Lisa-type piece, and involve at least one hacker, one super hot chick, a smooth leader and one black dude to be the one that has to start a distraction when the shit goes down…not two assholes walking straight to it at 2:30am, pushing it over, throwing it in a ditch and then coming back for it with their truck.

Made of stainless steel and glass, it was nearly nine feet tall. It was the work of artist and Marianist monk, Brother Mel Meyer.

The sculpture was worth about $8,500, but to people on campus, it was priceless.

…eh, probably not “priceless”. $10 says most kids that go there had no idea that statue existed. Stealing is wrong of course (and pointless because rarely do thieves have nice high-ceiling apartments able to aptly contain an upright statue, so it’s just going to end up in the garage and Mrs. Thief is going to be all like “I don’t know why you steal these things if they’re just to to stack up with all those bread makers you stole back in the 90s!”) but it still seems like we’re putting too much greatness in to a sculpture that lived on the lawn on some remote campus of a local college in Illinois.

Belleville Police have been called in to investigate.

“Our initial thoughts are somebody wanted it for a gag or for the value of it, either resale or scrap. There’s any number of possibilities,” said Capt. Don Sax.

Well it sounds like there were just three, and we doubt that anyone’s going to try and resell or scrap it, so we’re down to the “gag” reason. If that’s the reason, it seems like it would be easier, and just as funny, to poop on it. Less lifting involved and the the only planning required would be a Taco Bell run.

via KSDK