Webster Groves Gets a Whole Lot More Sexy With Their New Flasher

 Posted on October 30, 2009  |  The Editor

We miss the days when flashers rocked the long trench coat, walked right up to people and just put it out there and sometimes, if they are really good, threw in a little wiggle for good measure. Today’s flashers, are just too damn lazy! Take for instance this schmuck in Webster Groves: Police in Webster Groves and Brentwood are looking for a man who exposed himself to young girls four different times. [Read More]

This Lady Really Sucks at Sign Making

 Posted on October 19, 2009  |  The Editor

Recently there have been some pretty messed up violent crimes going down in the trendy Lafayette Square neighborhood of St.Louis City, so about 20 people took to the streets for a rally against the violence. Its all very sad and I hope what they did helps, but this lady above, picture on STLToday.com with the story is a horrible sign maker. It starts off great with the big “Are you part of the problem? [Read More]
Crime  lafayette square  signs 

Donna Judish is the Sexiest Woman In St. Louis and Here’s My Plan to Get Her

 Posted on October 8, 2009  |  The Editor

Man some guys get all the breaks. She Richard up there? He somehow broke off a piece of that sexy Donna up there! Man. How did he do it?! It doesn’t matter though. Now I have a plan to steal Donna away from him so I make out with her and find out what that crust on the corner of her mouth tastes like. I don’t want to give it all away, but it starts with “Here’s a dollar…” [Read More]
dog  donna judish  homeless  plan  sexy 

Mayor of East St. Louis Finally Realizes East St. Louis Sucks

 Posted on October 5, 2009  |  The Editor

Alvin Parks ran for and won the titles of Mayor and Liquor Commissioner of that turd of a city, our neighbors to the east that piggy-backs off of our name, East St. Louis. Throughout the whole process however, Parks never did realize that East St. Louis is, in fact, a pit of booze, drugs, crime and despair. All of a sudden Parks is “fed up” with the situation in East St. [Read More]
Crime  drinking  east st. louis  liquor 

St. Louis County to Stall Some Bait Houses Because Criminals Are Stupid

 Posted on September 30, 2009  |  The Editor

The St. Louis County Council is taking a vote soon to be the first place in the nation to install “bait houses,” because we have lots of empty houses and calling some of them a special names means you can cross them off the total number of empty homes list! The St. Louis County Police Department proposed the idea to crack down on criminals breaking into vacant foreclosed houses. One of the detectives got the idea from the “bait cars” that are used to track car thieves. [Read More]
bait house  chris hansen  dateline  houses 

One Year Old Tries to Take On 26 Year Old and Loses

 Posted on September 24, 2009  |  The Editor

Stupid baby. You can’t take on a grow 26 year old Jefferson County man! I’m sure you didn’t want to learn that lesson with skull fractures, but well, now you know the ageless lesson: “Don’t start nothin’, won’t be nothin’!” Jefferson County Prosecutor Forrest Wegge has charged Ronald Wills, 26, of Arnold with felony assault and endangering the welfare of a child after he allegedly beat his girlfriend’s 1-year-old daughter. [Read More]
baby  beating  fight  parenting  ronald wills 

The First Rule of Gun Safety is Do Not Talk About Gun Safety

 Posted on September 23, 2009  |  The Editor

James Looney (no, not the Dodgers player. He only has one ‘o’.) decided to show his girlfriend how to use a gun the other day. Clearly the lesson plan wasn’t sinking in, so this teaching revolutionary decided the best way to show her how to not use a gun was the kill himself. Best lesson plan of all time! You can only use it the one time though. The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office says a firearm safety demonstration turned deadly Friday when a 40-year-old Imperial man accidentally shot and killed himself. [Read More]
bang  gun  morons  safety 

Creepy Looking Police Officer Raped and Robbed Hookers

 Posted on September 23, 2009  |  The Editor

This sexy fella on the right is Officer Leon Pullen and he is accused of robbing 10 prostitutes and sexually assaulting at least three of them. Using “online advertising” [Editor’s Note: *cough* Craigslist! *cough*] Pullen lured his victims to North County city of Uplands Park where he worked as an officer. According to one of the victims, after meeting up with a prostitute responding to his ad, Pullen took her money and performed oral sex on her against her will in the police station, court documents allege. [Read More]
Crime  leon pullen  police  rape  robbery 

Guy Breaks in to House, Covers Inside With Liquid Soap

 Posted on September 21, 2009  |  The Editor

Wait, what? A man who allegedly broke into a house because it was a place to smoke cocaine and “cool off” then spread liquid hand soap about the house before leaving, St. Louis County police said. Darion J. Ellis, 18, of Florissant, told police he poured the liquid soap throughout the house to clean up after himself, according to the police report. Weird huh? Don’t worry the police have it figured out. [Read More]
cops  drugs  high  soap  spanish lake 

Officials Say Meth Use Falling, Not So Says Shirtless Guy With Holes In Teeth

 Posted on September 16, 2009  |  The Editor

According to a national study that was just released, the number of people older than 12 that use meth in this area fell 60% between 2006 and 2008. Not only that, but the number of people trying meth also dropped 60% as well. Alright! High-five cops! But law enforcement officials took little solace in the numbers. Awww. Um…great. Way to kill the mood. Now we are happy folk that see the good in these number, but maybe the cops just think that maybe meth heads were too busy to do the survey those years, or the meth death rates jumped up 60% those 2 years. [Read More]
drugs  meth  nickelback  social issues