Todd Akin is Legitimately Retarded

At some point Sunday you probably heard about Senate hopeful, current Representative Todd Akin‘s thoughts on rape and abortion while talking to enemy-of-the-site Charles Jaco on Fox2. It’s been kind of a big story: “It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare,” Mr. Akin said of pregnancies from rape. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. [Read More]

St. Charles County Man Found Guilty of Having Great Hair (and Threatening a Judge)

A St. Charles County court recently sentenced Alexander Long, 23, to 41 months in federal prison and not only is he skinny, but he’s got a head of hair even Full House’s Uncle Jesse would be jealous of. The only thing we can imagine Alex being guilty of is having a fantastic head of hair of black slik spun from the gods themselves, but there’s some other stuff like threatening a judge and his family. [Read More]

Jermaine Johnson is Probably The Worst Boyfriend Of All Time

Jermaine Johnson is really bad at relationships and we have no idea if eharmony scores go in to the negative ranges (or even if they have scores) but if anyone could do it, it’s Jermaine. Jermaine was charged today on four new counts of felony, but we’ll get to that in a second. First here’s what he’s already done. The short version is: He broke in to his girlfriend’s house, poured lighter fluid on her and threatened to light a match while he raped her. [Read More]

Some Guy Raped a Four-year-old and Gave it an STD

A 19-year-old man has been charged with raping and giving both gonorrhea and chlamydia to a 4-year-old. He also gave her a My Little Pony for Christmas but is anyone saying anything about that?! No! Of course not. Always focusing on the negative. You people make me sick! No, but seriously, the rape thing is probably the bigger story here. James M. Davis, of East St. Louis, is charged with statutory rape in the first degree. [Read More]
rape  std 

Comic Book Guy Standoff: Please Do Not Arrest Me on the Display Case, It Contains a Valuable Mary Worth

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. It took St. Louis police 3 and a half hours to peaceably coax suspected rapist and comic book shop owner, Kenneth McClure, to put down his weapon and come out of his south Hampton store, Legends Comics & Sports Cards. Police said McClure was armed when the officers arrived and refused to leave the building. They said he was the only person involved. [Read More]

Missouri Sex Slave Previously Featured in Hustler’s Taboo Magazine

The horrible story of a Missouri man holding captive and tourcuring a young mentally disabled girl for years, a story we covered last Friday, took a weird turn recently when it was discovered that the July 2007 issue of Hustler Magazine’s Taboo magazine featured a cover story on the man now in deep shit with the FBI and his “slave”.

That’s right a freaking cover story! Here’s the cover (right, moved through the jump) with the victim on the bottom, (naturally) and blurred.

To review…

It started with Ed Bagley, Sr. (no not the actor) who forced the woman in to being a sex slave while advertising online for tortuous sex sessions. Sessions that were purchased by the other three men: Michael Stokes, a national representative for Disabled American Veterans, Dennis Henry, the Postmaster General of Nevada, Missouri, and James Noel, who’s job is apparently too lame for any report to mention.

Bagley has been charged with no less than 10 counts of various horrible things which could net him life in prison. None of this was on the radar in July of 2007 when he was the talk of Taboo magazine where he had a multi-day photo shoot after a Taboo photographer reached out to Bagley via an online forum.

What did the photog think after interacting with the “couple” during their stay in Hollywood?

“They actually seemed to be quite a lovely couple … if anything he was going out of his way to make sure she was as happy as possible. I was very shocked to see the government had any issue with them at all,” Marcus told TheWrap.

Although he said he met the couple only briefly and “may have very well been mistaken,” Marcus told TheWrap that he saw no sign the woman was forced, coerced or mentally disabled.

“I mean sure, he had a gun pressed to her back and told her he was going to kill her if she cried for help, but that’s pretty standard stuff at these photo shoots. They seemed very much in love as Ed un-sewed her vagina and clamped one of those bear trap maskes over her head before we went to lunch. I remember Ed had a ham sandwich and she had a glass of his urine.” …is what he would have said next but possibly didn’t because we made that last part up. Sounds true though right? I mean with this story how the hell can you tell.  Oooh! Lets also say they had make your own sundaes after lunch. Those are always a way to pick up your spirits during a tough day of beating the hell out of your coerced slave in front of everyone and taking photos of yourself winding rope (right)…freaking rope! …for your fetish cover story. This is when your attorney just closes his notebook, looks at you and say “Screw this. You’re on your own.”

Hustler is cooperating with the FBI and no charges are expected to be filed against the magazine publisher.

[Read More]

4 Men Charged With Multi-Year Sexual Assault

Four Missouri men have been arrested and charged for helping to run a “commercial sex trafficking” ring. Dear Penthouse Forum! The most disturbing of their charges involves all four men sexually abusing and torturing a young retarded woman for several years…years! They reportedly also forced the woman to work as a stripper. Still no word as to how they forced guys to look at her. “The allegations contained in this indictment are among the most horrific ever prosecuted in this district,” said Beth Phillips United States Attorney for the Western District of Missouri. [Read More]

Uplands Park Cop Admits to Banging Craigslist Hookers

Leon Pullen, a 32 year old Uplands Park police officer invented something amazing! “I’m a cop right? Well maybe I can tell people to give me stuff in exchange for not arresting them! How has no one thought about this before?!” Officer Pullen isn’t all that bright. [Pullen] scoured online advertisements posted by the escorts, then pretended to be a customer, according to court documents and testimony at his plea hearing in federal court here. [Read More]

Woman Found Almost Dead in Forest Park Creek Bed. The Boy Scouts Are on the Case!

A family (not pictured) stumbled across a tied up and nearly dead woman laying a creek bed in Forest Park last week. Though if you ask the Post Dispatch, its clear they think the father was the star of the show here, and even mentioned about 100 times that he is a Boy Scout Master. Who cares? Freaking girl nearly died, why do I care why the people who found her were in the park for? [Read More]

Dude. WTF?!

I have no idea where Lexington, Missouri is and frankly I don’t want to know because a family was recently arrested there and…well…tell ’em block quote: Burrell Jr. of Independence, his three brothers, his father and an uncle have all been arrested. Their alleged victims have made allegations of years of rape and incest, Dude. […] including mock weddings Awww, dude. […] and claims that children were forced to kill a 300-pound man who had been kidnapped [Read More]