A St. Charles County court recently sentenced Alexander Long, 23, to 41 months in federal prison and not only is he skinny, but he’s got a head of hair even Full House’s Uncle Jesse would be jealous of.
The only thing we can imagine Alex being guilty of is having a fantastic head of hair of black slik spun from the gods themselves, but there’s some other stuff like threatening a judge and his family. Nothing he couldn’t have gotten out of with one of those quick look back moves like on Charlie’s Angels.
Alexander V. Long, 23, pleaded guilty in October to two federal counts of mailing threatening communications and one count of making an interstate transmission containing a threat and admitted sending threats through Facebook and the mail.
Long threatened to rape, stab and beat a judge’s daughter, and threatened the others, including Prosecuting Attorney Jack Banas, prosecutor Gwendolyn Goeke and the girl’s father, during the investigation of those threats.
Ok that actually sounds pretty bad, but seeing as he’ll be living in a federal prison for the next couple of years, it’s great to hear he’s already comfortable with the subject of rape.