Markquis Bryant Has $11,400 in Parking Ticket Fines

 Posted on August 13, 2010  |  The Editor

In KMOV’s “Is This Why We’re Broke” segment, they dealt with people flaking on parking tickets. The story is largely boring and pays no mind to the fact that every other city in the world probably has the same, if not worse, problems collecting fines like these, but there is one interesting part. The #1 parking offender is Markquis Bryant and he owes some $11,400 in parking ticket fines! According to the the treasurer’s office, the top offender is a man named Markquis Bryant. [Read More]
collection  parking ticket 

Elsewhere: Guy Plans to Eat His Disobedient Cat

 Posted on August 12, 2010  |  The Editor

[Editor’s Note: This news item took place in Buffalo, but its too weird and too namesake-related to pass up.] It’s always the “routine traffic stop” that manages to catch the sickos and one of those little moving violation miracles happened again in Buffalo, NY recently when the meows of a cat from a guy’s truck alerted the authorities to the fact that this guy was planning on eating his cat. [Read More]
cat  eating kitty  kitty  morons  pointless tags that will never be used again 

Facebook: Foiling Morons’ School Shooting Plans Since 2010

 Posted on August 11, 2010  |  The Editor

Remember that movie Minority Report where the police have psychics that can see the future and stop people from doing stuff before they do it? The future is now. Thank you Facebook. 10:18am “Thinking about stabbing this guy in front of me with my fork.” 1:32pm “Cleaning out my fridge! Can’t fit a cut up full-size woman in here will all this left over Chinese food! LOL” 3:45pm “School’s almost out! [Read More]
facebook  morons  parkway central  school shooting 

Mugshots: Our Very Own Snookie!

 Posted on August 10, 2010  |  The Editor

We know St. Louis doesn’t come up with all the new fads ourselves, but we still get some joy when we somehow manage to create our own little version of that fad. We have our own Snookie from Jersey Shore! Check out this mug shot! She’s got the look…check! Weird name? Well she’s less than 100 years old and her name is Agnes…check! But does she “party”? You bet! KMOV’s description reads: [Read More]
jersey shore  morons  mug shot 

Dude Buying CDs Gets Shot in the Face

 Posted on August 9, 2010  |  The Editor

…and the record industry is trying to make it seem like downloading songs isn’t safe. Pfffffft. Try telling it to the guy that just got shot in the face trying to buy some CDs on Natural Bridge over the weekend. A man told police he was trying to buy CDs when he was shot in the face by the seller Saturday night. Police said the 28-year-old man was shot in the 4200 block of Natural Bridge in St. [Read More]
cds  mp3  north st. louis  shooting 

Big and Small: We Have All Types of Crime in St. Louis

 Posted on August 3, 2010  |  The Editor

Yesterday St. Louis had two movie-style crimes take place. One from a comedy and one basically from Heat but without Val Kilmer.

At 10a yesterday the Medicine Shoppe on Grand by City Diner had a man barge in with a gun demanding a bottle of oxycontin. Despite is weapon induced upper-hand, when chased by employees, the man ran down the street right past the police who turned around and caught the junkie.

On the other side of the scale, dudes with automatic weapons and cool black robbin’ costumes jumped an armored car taking the cash and leaving the guards duct taped up in the back.

[Read More]
armed  bank  pharmacy  robbery 

Uplands Park Cop Admits to Banging Craigslist Hookers

 Posted on July 30, 2010  |  The Editor

Leon Pullen, a 32 year old Uplands Park police officer invented something amazing! “I’m a cop right? Well maybe I can tell people to give me stuff in exchange for not arresting them! How has no one thought about this before?!” Officer Pullen isn’t all that bright. [Pullen] scoured online advertisements posted by the escorts, then pretended to be a customer, according to court documents and testimony at his plea hearing in federal court here. [Read More]
cops  leon pullen  rape  Uplands Park 

Random Gunfire Moves to St. Charles County

 Posted on July 26, 2010  |  The Editor

Last night at around 7p a 16-year-old lifeguard at O’Fallon, MO’s Twin Chimneys Subdivision Pool was caught in the leg by a stray bullet. O’Fallon, Missouri police said the teen was hit in her upper leg while she was on the pool deck at Twin Chimneys Subdivision Pool on Sunday around 6:45 p.m. She was treated for minor injuries and was taken to an area hospital. Police do not know where the bullet came from, but said it could have been fired “a significant distance away” from the subdivision. [Read More]
missouri  ofallon  shooting 

Suspect in Brutal Murder Believes in Karma According to MySpace

 Posted on July 23, 2010  |  The Editor

No doubt you’ve heard of the brutal murder scene discovered in East St. Louis recently. No not that one, the other one. No, the more brutal one. …ok, it was the one where a man, Zachary Irvin, was dismembered and burned to death. According to STLToday: Irvin’s dismembered body was found burning on top of a metal landscaping cart nearby. Evidence led investigators to the large warehouse along Front Street, where they found three rooms with blood-spattered floors and walls. [Read More]
Dennis Iagulli  east st. louis  murder  Zachary Irvin 

Yeah, We Have Axe-Wielding Thieves Now

 Posted on July 22, 2010  |  The Editor

Well played St. Louis. Guns are so ordinary, so pedestrian. You want to get attention, and maybe a free Frisco Jack combo? The axe is really your only choice. About 8:55 a.m., someone ran up to [Policeman Luther] Tyus and told him that a man with an ax was robbing the Jack in the Box a few doors away, at 4201 South Kingshighway. Tyus walked into the busy restaurant with his gun drawn. [Read More]
axe  jack in the box  robbery