Well played St. Louis. Guns are so ordinary, so pedestrian. You want to get attention, and maybe a free Frisco Jack combo? The axe is really your only choice.
About 8:55 a.m., someone ran up to [Policeman Luther] Tyus and told him that a man with an ax was robbing the Jack in the Box a few doors away, at 4201 South Kingshighway.
Tyus walked into the busy restaurant with his gun drawn. He saw the robber carrying an ax that was bigger than a hatchet.
“Everyone in the restaurant was pointing at him, and a couple people were screaming,” Tyus told the Post-Dispatch. “He sees me and he puts it down on the counter.”
Ok, that was a pretty weak ending, but that story sounded awesome right up until he put it on the counter. Also it would be have been sweet if he been rocking some sort of make-shift suit of armor or chainmail….maybe a Viking helmet. Definitely a Viking helmet.
Seriously though, are we really “that city” now? Are we a place where you can’t even get your breakfast without having to watch out for a guy with an axe? Every city has assholes with guns, but a freaking axe?! Is that what we are right now? Does Detroit have axe people?! …God I hope so.
At what point do we start throwing our own feces? If its soon, can you all spot us a day or so…we just made earlier today.