Brandon Phillips Calls Cardinals Little Bitches

 Posted on August 10, 2010  |  The Editor

Cincinnati Reds’ Second Baseman Brandon Phillips got a little nicked up playing the Cubs recently, but when asked if he would ok for the big Cardinals series Phillips had this to say (according to daytondailynews.com): “I’d play against these guys with one leg. We have to beat these guys. I hate the Cardinals. All they do is bitch and moan about everything, all of them, they’re little bitches, all of ‘em. [Read More]
baseball  brandon phillips  cardinals  morons  reds 

Don’t Hate the Craigslist Player, Hate the Craigslist Game

 Posted on August 6, 2010  |  The Editor

Here are our top 3 favorite current St. Louis Craigslist Missed Connections pick-up lines from the fellas: 3. “in the shower?” – m4w if u clicked on this chances are it is u i am looking for we joke about it often but never actully get in there but i wouldnt say a word if u really did get in there and to tell the truth i would like it i am quite sure let me know something that will make me know this is u [Read More]
craigslist  missed connections  morons 

Remember to Wash Your 7-Year-Olds Only on the Delicate Cycle

 Posted on July 28, 2010  |  The Editor

A Joplin, MO girl was tossing around a washing machine for 12 full minutes before her mother and the laundromat staff could get her out. Authorities said Chloe Crow and her sister tried to use a washing machine at a laundromat, but after putting their money in, the machine didn’t work. Chloe climbed inside the machine, thinking it was broken. …yup, that’s the move. Please remember to tell this girl that this is an appropriate way to check if things are working. [Read More]
kids  morons  washing machine 

Photo: Bigots Picketing Lady Gaga at Scottrade Center

 Posted on July 19, 2010  |  The Editor

Found via the Twitter stream of one of the bigots themselves! From our @ladygaga concert picket in St. Louis! http://twitpic.com/26aotu http://twitvid.com/PFOL9 You can really tell all the good work they are doing across the street behind their little fence. Look at all the people listening and giving a crap. Powerful stuff. Now where did my ink well and quill go? Ah! Here it is… Dear @meganphelps, Why are you so angry? [Read More]
lady gaga  morons  protest 

Dog the Bounty Hunter Would Never Mace Your Balls Like These Guys

 Posted on July 6, 2010  |  The Editor

Three bail bondsmen for F & N Bail Bonds (aka Junkie’s Bail Bonds) in Festus have been charged with felony restraint and misdemeanor assault for among other things, macing a guy’s balls…really that one thing should be enough though. The man said he went willingly with the bondsmen, but that Boyer hit him with a half-full bottle of water in the face while driving to Jefferson County, court documents filed Monday in Hillsboro say. [Read More]
assault  bail  bailbonds  festus  mace  morons 

Dear Punching Kitty: You’re Going to Hell

 Posted on June 28, 2010  |  The Editor

Subtitle: Dear guy: We know. It’s cool. Sometimes people don’t like this site. It happens, and is expected. Whether it’s because we’ve made fun of them or they just don’t like our humor, its going to happen and that’s totally cool with us. No one is expected to like everything. For example, we don’t like Christian Rock. It’s horrible. That’s no sleight on anyone’s belief system mind you, just a preference, a preferences that drives us to not listen to Christian rock…it does not however make us want to write odd notes to the people that make Christian Rock. [Read More]
crazy  dear punching kitty  lawrebce moran  morons 

Maybe Girls Just Don’t Like Retards…

 Posted on June 24, 2010  |  The Editor

Found last evening on St. Louis’ Craiglist Missed Connections section: to the girls on the hiway[sic] im[sic] their cars – m4w (interstates[sic]) every day i drive down the road.in a shiny jeep all decked out.and i see so many pretty ladies going by,shopping,to work,to who knows where.they are all fantastic looking.but do they look at me or anyone? “hiway”? “im their cars“? “they are all fantastic looking“?! Why can’t this guy learn to write and where is he driving where all the girls on the street are fantastic looking? [Read More]
craigslist  missed connections  morons 

Morons in the Humidity: A Busch Stadium Safari

 Posted on June 2, 2010  |  The Editor

As we said earlier today, we went to the ballgame last night…and unlike most times, we brought our camera! We have a few great clear shots of some particular Busch Stadium species we all know and love (to hate). First up is Ithinkimcool forsomereason-us which is latin for “smug douche”. This guy decides its in his best interest to ruin other people’s fun at the game because he’s sad for some reason deep down inside. [Read More]
busch stadium  creatures  morons  people  photos 

Stupid Parents Are Apparently Also Deep Sleepers

 Posted on May 24, 2010  |  The Editor

Saturday night, the parents of a “4.0 average” daughter living in East Carondelet, Illinois went to bed with their graduation party of 20 kids still going. They woke up after 2am with about 100 kids scattering as police were trying to get a handle on the situation while trying to dodge the drunken driving of one party goer. Disappointment is what James Hasty and his wife were feeling Sunday after hosting a graduation party for their high school Senior Saturday night. [Read More]
graduation  high school  morons  party 

State Representative Cynthia Davis and Her Funny Farm

 Posted on May 18, 2010  |  The Editor

We’re starting to fall in love with State Rep. Cynthia Davis of O’Fallon. Not like the way girls fall in love with us after a wink and a sip of that drink they should have guarded, but more so in a “We’re pretty sure you are nuts and horrible at your job, but we want you to stick around anyway because you’re nuts and horrible at your job” kinda way. [Read More]
chickens  cynthia davis  morons