morons

Correction: In the post “Former St. Louis Cop Makes His Entry to the Horrible St. Louis Music Video Contest” we mislabeled our rappin’ ex-cop as a “hero”. Wrong! To quote our previous piece (emphasis added): The latest entry in to the “That’s pretty bad, but I can make a worse St. Louis rap video” contest that seemingly sprung up out of nowhere is from “Tak”, a former cop that bravely took a bullet, quit being a cop…and then started a rap career. [Read More]

Wanna take scrap wood out of dumpsters in St. Charles? You’re call, but if you do, be prepared to tangle with the ninja of Sun Lake Drive: 41 year old Scott Schwartz. St. Charles Police Lt. Mike Akers said two men were searching for scrap wood inside a dumpster in the Sun Valley Lake apartment complex about 9 p.m. Thursday. Akers said the men told police they had been given permission to search the dumpster. [Read More]

If we pretend for a moment that exiled-Post Dispatch columnist Jerry Berger still writes his own “gossip”, then we could say: Jesus Jerry! Is this really the best way you could “report” on the passing of Deanne Lane, formerly of KSDK’s, husband passing away suddenly? It’s been a great week so far, any way you look at it (provided you weren’t looking at it from Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea or the house of Centene communicator and former television anchor Deanne Lane, who is mourning the sudden death of her husband, consultant and avid golfer Greg Goodrich [Read More]

“I love Detroit.” That was former Kansas City Royal, Oakland Athletic, Boston Red Sox, New York Yankee and current Detroit Tiger Johnny Damon ****yesterday after turning down a chance to be traded back to the Boston Red Sox team he helped bring a World Series Championship to in 2004 after sweeping the Car…ugh. Blockquote to break the painful memory anyone? The Red Sox claimed Damon on waivers this week, but he had the right to veto a move to Boston because of a no-trade clause in his contract. [Read More]

Since when do we listen to 14 year old girls? Have they proven themselves trustworthy? No, they haven’t. 14 years are the epitome of dramatic little creatures that will lie for attention. “I heard Sarah say that Bobby thinks your ugly.”, “Love that skirt Katie! …whatever.”, “The janitor touched me!” You can’t believe a word 14 year old girls say! First off, Allen the Janitor is a saint! You can’t have a mustache, jeans jacket and a blacked out window-less van with a bag of Butterfingers in the back and not be a lovely gentleman. [Read More]

Get ready recently widowed women who’s husbands were in the business of something we don’t like! You are one boring Saturday with us having posterboard and markers laying around from us getting in your face! Missouri has re-legalized funeral protests. U.S. District Judge Fernando Gaitan ruled the laws violate the right of free speech guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution. Gaitan concluded Missouri officials did not demonstrate the protest restrictions served a significant government interest nor that they had been narrowly tailored to prevent the harm of interruptions of funeral services. [Read More]

[Editor’s Note: This news item took place in Buffalo, but its too weird and too namesake-related to pass up.] It’s always the “routine traffic stop” that manages to catch the sickos and one of those little moving violation miracles happened again in Buffalo, NY recently when the meows of a cat from a guy’s truck alerted the authorities to the fact that this guy was planning on eating his cat. [Read More]

Remember that movie Minority Report where the police have psychics that can see the future and stop people from doing stuff before they do it? The future is now. Thank you Facebook. 10:18am “Thinking about stabbing this guy in front of me with my fork.” 1:32pm “Cleaning out my fridge! Can’t fit a cut up full-size woman in here will all this left over Chinese food! LOL” 3:45pm “School’s almost out! [Read More]

Here’s a few quick notes in the aftermath of Brandon Phillips’ testicles finally dropping. Turns out they were behind his vagina.

1. If Phillips’ balls finally made an appearance, they went right back up inside after Yadier Molina got in his face.

2. Brandon Phillips drives the douchiest car imaginable. Naturally.

Not more than a few days ago, Yahoo! Sports dropped this little nugget about how the now famous Brandon Phillips: He drives a big purple expensive douche-mobile!

3. There is reason to cheer for Phillips.

[Read More]

We know St. Louis doesn’t come up with all the new fads ourselves, but we still get some joy when we somehow manage to create our own little version of that fad. We have our own Snookie from Jersey Shore! Check out this mug shot! She’s got the look…check! Weird name? Well she’s less than 100 years old and her name is Agnes…check! But does she “party”? You bet! KMOV’s description reads: [Read More]