Adults Visit High School, Beat Up Freshman

We’ll say this for McCluer North High School, when you’ve got visiting adults dropping a beat down in the hall way, they sure take their freshmen hazing to the next level. [Three] women were reportedly at the school to take a female student, a relative of theirs, out for lunch. According to security footage, the women were walking toward their relative when she got into a fight with a freshman student. [Read More]

Popular Bluff Man Beats Parents With Baseball Bat, Tells Police

Going forward, Thanksgivings will probably be a little awkward… Man confesses to brutally beating his parents at their Poplar Bluff home Tuesday evening. Well, the important thing is that he eventually told the truth. Pretty sure that’s what Bill Cosby told Rudy and we can’t think of a reason why it wouldn’t apply here. Officers with the Poplar Bluff Police Department were called to the scene at 12 p.m. after a they received a call from a man who said he arrived at the home in the 1900 block of Wilson Street and found two people inside had been beaten. [Read More]

South County Woman Beats the Hell Out of Her Possibly Demonic Grandmother

It’s tough to watch close relatives get old. As their ability to do their once simple tasks slowly slip from their withered grasp, they rely on us to be strong for them and guide them through those last remaining miles, but it’s not always easy to be strong. Some nights as you tuck your 92-year-old grandmother in to bed, your mind begins to drift to unpleasant thoughts like “Is this the last Christmas I’ll have with my grandma? [Read More]

Horrible Face-Shooting Thieving D*ckhead Brought to Justice

Vincent Newman has been apprehended and charged with at least one of the recent string of violent robberies in South City, and more charges are expected. Just listen to what this dickhead did: A 27-year-old woman was shot at 5:55 a.m. Wednesday as she walked to her car in the 1600 block of South Spring Avenue. The man took her purse and shot her in the face, police said. A 20-year-old woman was robbed of her cellphone and tablet computer. [Read More]

KMOV’s Matt Sczesny Got Beat Up

KMOV (Channel 4) reporter Matt Sczesny and it wasn’t by someone who got overly frustrated after trying to spell Sczesny’s name phonetically like you’d imagine. Turns out it was just some guy who wandered over while they were on a story. Sczesny was in Alorton standing outside a KMOV truck when a man walked up to him and asked if he could ask him a question. Sczesny said sure, and the man punched him, according to Sean McLaughlin, KMOV’s executive news director. [Read More]

Three Women Attack a Red Lobster Waitress

For the second time in 9 months a Red Lobster employee has been attacked at the Fairview Heights Red Lobster. Apparently the cheddar biscuits are horrible there. At about 2:15 p.m. Friday, a restaurant worker had water thrown on her and was struck repeatedly by either open hands or Red Lobster menus, police said. Three suspects were taken into custody. Police said they do not yet know what led to the alleged assault. [Read More]

Guy Gets Saved and Then Arrested for Assault

Elijah Wisniewski was rescued from a burning home Thursday after a police officer saw the flames and ran in to the home to save him. Quite a feel good story huh? Nothing like a cop coming the rescue of a man in trouble! …and if this happened anywhere other than the St. Louis area, the story probably would have ended right there, but instead this happened: The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports that 31-year-old Elijah Wisniewski of Winfield was charged Monday. [Read More]

Woman Arrested For Beating Up Kid and Not Having Enough Eyebrow Hair

Terisha Wallace was arrested yesterday in Collinsville, Illinois after allegedly beating up a 13-year old kid. On Sunday, June 3, at approximately 8:08 p.m., the Madison County Sheriff’s Department was dispatched to a home in Maryville, Ill. where deputies met with the victim of a battery. The victim was suffering from facial swelling and bruising. The victim told deputies he was battered by two subjects. The victim identified Wallace and a 16-year-old male juvenile as the subjects who had battered him. [Read More]

Horse Outsmarts Downtown Carriage Jacker

One of those horse-drawn carriages was jacked Tuesday night by a cane wielding assailant who apparently found no cars worthy of stealing or more likely, as this took place downtown, there might not have been any cars left that hadn’t already been broken in to. The St. Louis Carriage Company driver Larry Turner said he was steering his horse, Harry, back to the company’s stables about 8:25 p.m. toward the end of his shift. [Read More]

(Updated) Naked O’Fallon Man Bit a Police Officer’s Face

Update from 11:30am below. A 21 year-old O’Fallon man has been arrested after doing the following: Beating a 29-year old woman with a “medieval weapon” Being naked in public. Living in a trailer park.* Trying to reach for an officer’s gun. Actually stealing the officer’s stun gun. Hitting the officer with the stun gun. Most likely grazing someone with his junk while all this naked movement was happening. 8. Bitting the officer in the face. [Read More]