Three Women Attack a Red Lobster Waitress

For the second time in 9 months a Red Lobster employee has been attacked at the Fairview Heights Red Lobster. Apparently the cheddar biscuits are horrible there. At about 2:15 p.m. Friday, a restaurant worker had water thrown on her and was struck repeatedly by either open hands or Red Lobster menus, police said. Three suspects were taken into custody. Police said they do not yet know what led to the alleged assault. [Read More]

Fairview Heights Aldermen Could Use a Good Spanking

A week ago an exclusive convention was held in the Four Points by Sheraton hotel in Fairview Heights and despite the fact the event took place quietly, and with no problems, the Fairview Heights aldermen decided it was worth everyone’s time to bitch about it anyway. Yes, the convention was sexual in nature…”Beat Me in St. Louis”…seriously…and at least one Alderwoman is saying that this type of event shouldn’t be held in her community: [Read More]

Hoarder’s House Burns Down in Fairview Heights

Last night in Fairview Heights a house caught fire, burning completely to the ground. Fire destroyed a Fairview Heights home early today that the fire chief said was crammed full of possessions “from floor to ceiling.” “The city had just ordered her out of the house, because it was totally packed from floor to ceiling with books, newspapers, clothing, a grand piano,” he said. “You name it.” Who knew stank, despair, long forgotten cats buried in knick-knacks, and old newspapers were so dammed flammable! [Read More]

Military Recruiter Stabbed in Fairview Heights

Police are hunting down a guy that walked in to one of those strip mall Military Recruiter places in Fairview Heights and stabbed the sergeant when he turned his back for a moment. The recruiter had exited a back room, saw the man in the reception area and asked him if he was interested in joining the military. The recruiter then turned around in his office chair to get some paperwork, police said. [Read More]